I was level 21 I loved xur so much I had all the strange exotics and curios I prayed to xur every night thanking him for my exotics Xur is love I said xur is life My vanguard heard me and called me a fаggot I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to xur I called him a сunt He slaps me and sends me to go rank up my vanguard rank I'm crying now and out of strange coins A cool darkness moves behind me It's XUR!!! He makes me the happiest man alive He says to me "please me mortal" He grabs me with his powerful agent hands I am ready I spread my аss cheeks for xur He penetrates my butthole with his gjallarhorn I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes begin to water He screams a mighty scream as he filled my butt with his chatterwhite My vanguard comes in just as xur finishes He looks him straight in the eyes and says "The darkness has consumed you" Xur jumps off the ledge near the spawn point and flys away Xur is love Xur is life