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Edited by irishfreak:
3/20/2015 9:19:36 AM
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Serious question for married men
I'm a 25 year old male who has a 24 year old fiance we were planning on getting married this coming June (have been together 4 years this may) well things happened and we are expecting a little girl who will be here this June do as you can expect the wedding isn't going to happen the way we planned we are going to go to the court house and get married because we both feel it is important for us as a family that the baby girl be brought into the world with a loving family and married parents the problem is tho the mom/wife to be wants the wedding to be personal and offers the courthouse feels more like doing errands I returned with we could renew vowels after the baby is here and that is fine but I'm looking for a way to make it special and not like it's a trip to walmart any ideas that could help a fellow husband/father to be out thanks in advance
English
#Offtopic
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My wife and I got married on valentine's day this year at a mass wedding at the courthouse. However, we did the actual "ceremony" with family last August. The ceremony wasn't official, we didn't have a pastor or ordained person to marry us and we didn't have our marriage license yet, but it was done for family because that was the time everyone could be there.
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Try using punctuation. I'm sure she'd love that.
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I have a 6yo, 4yo and 2yo with my wife. We didn't get married until 2012 while she was pregnant with third child. You can very much provide a loving family and home without being married. If you want to be you can easily get married legally as you planned to and then perform the religious ceremony and celebration when you're both ready at a later date. Again it's your two lives and not that of her or your parents. Do what it's best for your relationship and your child. And also, congrats!
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2 RepliesHow about this; as a man, don't get married. There is literally not a single benefit to you as a man to get married (maybe tax wise). But all the benefits for her. There is no reason why 2 people who claim to love each other can't stay together without a piece of paper and a ring. Don't do it. Marriage is not what it was 50 years ago. It doesn't mean the same thing. Especially to women. To them it's a milestone, a way for them to absolve all responsibility towards the relationship and a way ruin your life and finances when she decides to divorce you , which the odds say she probably will.
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1 ReplyOh... just thought of this... you could always move to Cincinnati. Wait till the kids 18 then tell it that the mom never told you she had a kid... Win-win
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1 ReplyIt's a common presumption that weddings have to be a big and expensive affair but it just isn't true. If you want a successful and happy marriage, all of the groundwork for that is performed in your courting phase before the wedding and how you interact after the wedding. Just go do the courthouse wedding and have a small get together with whoever you want to invite. I know some people who have never gotten married because the can't afford the tens of thousands of dollars to spend on their dream wedding. That's just stupid. Just get married by the court and get it over with. Out church does weddings for free but I'm not sure if all of them do.
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Seeing as most girls dream of a fancy wedding with their family there .... I would do a small get together in your backyard, many hotels offer nice receptions ..... It doesn't have to be huge and cost 50k. Just put some thought into it and that you are thinking of her and that it isn't like she said just an errand.
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You can do what I did. We had the Justice of the Peace come to our house and marry us. Had a small party and a BBQ. Not the wedding of her dreams but makes it fell special and not a chore.
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[quote]we could renew vowels [/quote] That made me laugh sorry. I would consider pushing the wedding back a month or two. I doubt you're fiancé is going to fit into her dress the month the baby is due. She will also have to work hard to get into shape even if it is pushed back. I don't if I would worry about going to a courthouse. You guys plan on getting married either way and the baby won't know if you two are married when it pops out.
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Why would you enslave yourself like that?
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Just wait until after baby if you care that much.
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You don't have to do anything big to make it special. That scene in Brave heart where the two get married off in the woods could be considered romantic. Think of where your soon to be wife always wanted to go or where she likes to go. Like a beach or something. Also you might see if family members can help pitch in some money
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You could hold a small ceremony in a park or if a family member has an appropriate setting, on their property. It wouldn't cost much, and still be personal and memorable.
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[i]I think it's trying to communicate.[/i]
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Edited by Psyntifik: 3/20/2015 11:29:46 AMIt's more important that you have the money to support your child. Weddings can be a drain on that. Newborns are more expensive than you might think.
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Longest sentence in the world
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1 ReplyI'm a married guy but your massive amount of grammatical errors drove me off.
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I had a similar situation. We just had a simple ceremony with friends and family, then cooked out after. My wife didn't get the wedding she wanted , but we're going to renew our vows later.
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Edited by grenif: 3/20/2015 9:40:46 AMTalk with your local pastor spend a couple hundred bucks fixing up your house and have a small wedding with just your family and close friends... You can even set it up so that the gifts are for the baby or for the wedding decore and food... Bam... problem solved... yw...
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I am not married or anything, but my best mate has been in kinda the same situation. A wedding is really overrated. It is too give your love too the other person. If you do that in a courthouse or in a building that you pay 100.000 bucks for doesnt change that. So dont worry about that. Use the money for a nice honeymoon that will be with you for the rest of your life or too renew your vowes a year later. (Sorry if it is spelled wrong, not from a english speaking country so dont use those words alot). You and your wife will have a special day no matter what. Just make sure that you will think back at that with a happy thought, instead of a stack off bills. And congrats too you and your wife. Wish you all the luck.
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Me and my wife were kinda in this situation. It was use all the money for the wedding and no honey moon. Or courthouse and honey moon. We choose to spend money on the wedding. Worst decision ever. Weddings are over rated. Go to the courthouse and renew vows in a year. The wife feels the same as me too.
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Happened to me and we waited for the big wedding. I totally get the "born to a family" thing so there is no judgement but we said that we wanted a wedding and a celebration of our marriage, to us it wasn't the peice of paper that was important it was the commitment. We had our son and got married a few years later, proper ceremony, party, speeches the works. We don't regret waiting and we don't regret getting married. I love her more now than I ever did. We've now got a little girl too. We were 10 years older than you so maybe age us a factor, again I'm not going to preach or judge. I suppose you have to decide what's more important, the family unit or the live of the family unit. And where that piece of paper fits into it all. By the way congratulations on your imminent new arrival and wedding. It's all totally worth it.
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Edited by ForsakenAngel07: 3/20/2015 9:22:35 AMI'll offer a female's perspective. I felt the same way when I was marrying my husband, he wanted to just get married at a court house and I refused. I felt like it cheapened the idea of marriage. I wanted a church. We had a very small wedding and a nice reception afterwards and the total spent was probably only $1500. My first son was 4 months old when we got married, btw. He looked really cute dressed up being walked down the isle with the rings. If she really wants the wedding, see if it can be postponed for a few months; if she's more amenable then do the court house but have a big reception afterwards.
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sorry cant relate buddy wife and I are having our first children, twin boys due in June but we've been married for almost 9 yrs. we just wanted to get our careers and house 1st b4 we started making our family.
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Edited by So Solid XT: 3/20/2015 9:19:01 AMWhat my brother did was have a courthouse wedding and an amazing reception where they did the vows and everything. It was really nice and pretty cheap to
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Firstly, congratulations on both the baby and the wedding. Secondly, are there any nice hotels or function halls nearby? An old rustic hotel/ city hall makes an ideal place for a wedding reception. Find yourself a nice field/woods/park for your wedding photos, they are the only constant reminders you will have many years from now. I can fully appreciate you wanting to make this a special as possible for your bride to be and huge respect from myself for being a person that gives a damn rather than some half hour Vegas wedding douche, but as long as you keep telling her how amazing she is and make the most of whatever you plan I think it will be special enough.
