It all started during the Destiny Alpha, after years of having the Fate of All Fools and some serious Bad Juju going through five early miscarriages we finally got rid of the Bad Seed Down and the Unwilling Soul-09. Maybe it was just The Chance or maybe we paid some kind of Shadow Price. But the Truth is, someone heard The Calling and The Swarm finally did it’s job, my wife was pregnant.
During the following months we tried having Patience and Time but every Hawkmoon bringing us a Vision of Confluence made the wait feel like Perun’s Fire.
Suddenly my wife felt a Murmur and even though I tried The Calming she was having The Last Word and since i’m a Do Gooder V we fetched a cab to the hospital.
The hospital was run by Suros Regime and the Final Boss was working For The People but living like the 4th Horseman in Monte Carlo. Anyway, when we arrived we met the Lord High Fixer who was also known as the Grim Citizen III. He showed us to our room, produced an Invective and went on bringing Two to the Morgue.
The pain was feeling like a Thorn. Should I go fetch Doctor Nope I asked, no you’re staying right here, better The Devil You Know than The Devil You Don’t. That guy is kind of a Strange Suspect, smells like Dragon’s Breath and he only provides anesthetics like Timur’s Lash and Jolder’s Hammer, not even close to The Cure I need.
She screamed like a Thunderlord so I tried to give her some Super Good Advice, don’t try and be The Comedian she said, just use the Universal Remote and call the midwife
After The Crash I felt like a Fatebringer that was Up For Anything but forgot the Secret Handshake and now moving towards Radagast’s Fury to perform The Culling.
I sounded the Gjallarhorn and the midwife brought out the MIDA Multi-Tool and the Pocket Infinity assessing the situation as a B-Line Trauma and mumbling about missing the Time On Target could have us facing The Trolley Problem.
I think I saw the Red Hand IX times and I could smell Red Death creeping in from the No Land Beyond.
Time for Plan-C, I handed out some Corrective Measure to the staff and Against All Odds my wife produced a beautiful baby boy in the Hard Light. I thought of using an Icebreaker but in the end all that came out was Three Little Words.
True story - 5 days ago my second son arrived, truly one of the most rare exotics. And i EARNED it!
-
"Meh" - Party Crasher +1
-
Great job! now go outside
-
#epic is right... congrats man! kids are amazing... mine are 7 and 6 and i wish tjey would never grow up... btw... my 6 year old son went 24 and 8 in crucible the other day... i was so proud... *sheds a tear*
-
Nice work! And congrats!
-
I'll bring down the Black Hammer to congratulate you with my Backhanded Complement
-
Have no bad juju but I have the fate of all fools
-
DAYUM DAYUM DAYUM (congrats btw)
-
After u cheated on her... She broke ur neck-rochasm
-
Omg dude that's great I love this. You made my day poet !
-
Congratulations!
-
Cool story:D
-
Loved it
-
Good job with thee story and congrats!
-
Edited by CLW1211: 3/28/2015 12:14:22 PMNice and congrats
-
That's pretty good nice
-
You know what.... that was pretty good. And congrats.
-
Hate me I don't care, but imo this was boring.
-
Congrats
-
Congratulations man! :D D'AAAAW How sweet (>~<) can't wait to hear about this little Atheon's Epilogue!
-
Very punny. Side note... I'm sorry your father never played catch with you.
-
What's the drop rate of your wife's pants?
-
Nice creativity
-
I couldn't make it past the first sentence
-
I r8 8/8
-
Your baby's exotic?! Where's it from?! [spoiler]lol jk[/spoiler] But seriously though great and punny read. I was honestly expecting more xurner rant crap. Congrats!
-
Adorable and hilariously funny xD Well played sir :)