[i]The scariest of all living things is one that bleeds for several days every month and still does not die.
- Toland[/i]
Its that time again. You know the one I mean. When your SO gets the Red Death for a few days. Scarier than a Zombie Apocalypse.
- Its not an easy mission, and thankfully It only lasts for a few days, but during those, survival is your main focus. Here are a few pointers so you have The Chance to make it through this as easily as possible.
- Winning comes from knowing you cannot win – that you shouldn’t even try to win. You might buy her a rose and she’ll blame you for getting pinched on a Thorn. You might take her on a trip to Monte Carlo and she’ll blame you for the weather being crap. You might try and be quite The Comedian and she’ll just think you’re making fun of her. It may seem that you’re Against all Odds.
- When everything fails, when you’ve exhausted your Plan C and have No Backup Plans, just remember to use those Three Little Words.
- During this time, its wise to be Up for Anything – not only what she asks for, but also, for extra credits, you should try to know – and do - Her Unspoken Will. Even if you’re an Unwilling Soul when doing it. Be a real Do Gooder.
- Expect her to be all like “Don’t Touch me” during these days and Enrage often. You may feel tempted to Silence Her Screams. Don’t try. Don’t even Murmur, and always let her have The Last Word. Use Prudence.
- The Cure for this condition hasn’t been found yet, and dealing with it might prove more complicated than an Infinite Theorem. You need to handle with a lot of Patience and Time.
- If she lashes out at you, its important to know its not personal. Don’t be too harsh passing Judgement. There’s just a lot of Bad Juju inside her right now. What she is going though make it near impossible for her to be Fair and Square. Be Merciful, because you do try to respond or get back, believe me, Her Vengence can be terrible.
- This is a Shadow Price you have to pay for living with her, just don’t act like it’s a grind. Keep in mind that for you, she is The Chosen. And if you are having second thoughts, remember, its better The Devil You Know, than The Devil You Don’t.
- Take solace in the fact that after all the slaugher, there will be The Calming, and you’ll be able to reap your well deserved rewards. She’ll remember how good you were and she can become quite The Dreammaker.
- There are just a few tips. Im not The Scholar in what regards these issues, but you might see me as The Messenger for some Super Good Advice.
And to any ladies out there. Please don’t be angry at me. You know I speak the Truth.
English
#Destiny
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Sorry destiny doesn't have the skill to create minthlys
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4/10 tried too hard
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Bump for greatness!
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(Stands up clapping)
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*Slow clap intensifying*
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Very nice... and actually accurate. A+ for effort and execution.
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10/10
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Brilliant!
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I'm not sure Toland said that..
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Lol made my day
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You siR! Win the internet.
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So those three little words is that I use super good advice okay lmao
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Not bad!
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This. Was....brilliant!!!
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I thought this would have been a legit mode like the Daily and Weekly Heroic....
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I don't see Mythoclast in there hehe
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Excellent post! Really.. top drawer.
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Nomination for best post!!
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I don't even know what to think, Its terrible, but its funny, its wrong in so many ways but its true... Maybe i'll just be content with the fact that i don't have to deal with it ;)
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This is absolutely amazing, best post I've read in the past month. XD
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Nice, made me lol.
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How long did it take you to come up with this? It's fantastic!