[b]EDIT[/b]: just to make sure everyone's in the same page... this is a [i]fictional[/i] post made up by me. Did not actually happen. Not to me at least :P Its just supposed to be a funny story, hope you enjoy it. [b]Fireteam Leader (FL)[/b]: OK guys, I’ve just put the group up on lfg, shouldn’t take long. [i]ding[/i] [b]FL[/b]: Here we go. Let me just ask him real quick… Ok… raid weapons… experienced… level 31, oh well lets not be dicks about it… fine we’ll give it a go. [i]new player joins the fireteam[/i] [b]Know-it-all noob (KIA noob)[/b]: What’s up dudes. [b]FL[/b]: Hi there! We’re having a go on Crota hard mode, you onboard? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Sure man, no problem. [b]FL[/b]: Cool, so I take it you did this before and know what you’re doing, right? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah I own this sucker. [b]FL[/b]: OK so lets just wipe and we’ll begin. [i]wipe, restart, guys start the heavy ammo glitch[/i] [b]KIA noob[/b]: What are you doing, there are no enemies here. [b]FL[/b]: We’re… um… doing the heavy ammo glitch… [b]KIA noob[/b]: There’s a glitch? I mean, I don’t need a freakin glitch. Xur sold heavy ammo synths this weekend. You probably didn’t know this but that’s fine, I didn’t know it either until a friend told me last Saturday. [b]FL[/b]: Yeah we know… but… like… this is free, so… [b]KIA noob[/b]: Well I don’t need that. I bought a whole bunch of them. I have, like, 5 synths. [b]FL[/b]: So… you spent 1 strange coin to get 5 synths? [b]KIA noob[/b]: I know its crazy right? 5 whole synths. For 1 strange coin. Good thing I had a couple of them. [b]FL[/b]: Ok… moving on… [i]crystal is activated, glass shatters, enemies spawn[/i] [b]FL[/b]: Take care of the acolytes guys… good… now remember, get the knights down to low health but don’t k… [i]KIA noob kills the knights[/i] [b]KIA noob[/b]: its OK guys I got them. [b]FL[/b]: You weren’t supposed to kill them, we were saving them to get orbs… but fine, lets go. Remember not to exit the room until we’re all rea… [i]KIA noob sprints outside[/i] [b]FL[/b]: Why did you exit? You were supposed to wait. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Why? Oh, doesn’t matter. Game’s bugged. [b]FL[/b]: What? [i]KIA noob dies. Crota summons the oversoul[/i] [b]FL[/b]: What the hell? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Game bugged. Not my fault. [b]FL[/b]: Guys shoot the overs--- oh nevermind. There are a few still inside the room. Just wipe. What happened? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Chalice didn’t spawn. Stupid glitches. [b]FL[/b]: What do you mean chalice didn’t spawn? This is hard mode! [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah, so? [b]FL[/b]: So, there’s no chalice on hard mode! Didn’t you say you were experienced? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah, and I am. I already beat Crota. Kind of. [b]FL[/b]: Kind of? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah I got killed when my fireteam nailed him but I got to see everything and from the sword carrier’s point of view. So I got this down. [b]FL[/b]: So how many times have you finished the raid? [b]KIA noob[/b]: well, technically… one. [b]FL[/b]: One? That’s your experience? What about hard mode? [b]KIA noob[/b]: There’s a hard mode? [b]FL[/b]: [i]Sigh[/i]. Lets just try it again. Too much of a hassle finding a new guy anyway. [i]crystal is activated, glass shatters, enemies spawn, enemies are killed [/i] [b]KIA noob[/b]: I’m almost dead, how am I supposed to regen health? [b]FL[/b]: You need items that regen health on orb pickup or weapons that trigger health regen. [b]KIA noob[/b]: That actually exists? [b]FL[/b]: just see the one I’m wearing. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah its pretty but so what? [b]FL[/b]: Check its properties. [i]KIA noob circles around FL[/i] [b]KIA noob[/b]: OK it has 3 eyes, but I don’t really see what you mean. [b]FL[/b]: Dude, just inspect me. [i]KIA noob circles around FL, crouching and looking up and down[/i] [b]KIA noob[/b]: what, you mean check you out? I’m not really into that… [b]FL[/b]: Dude! Inspect! As in, ingame inspect! [b]KIA noob[/b]: You can do that? [b]FL[/b]: Oh lord. Just open your menu, go into roster, hover over my name, select it, and take a look at my helm. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Ooohh. Well, I don’t have anything like [i]that[/i]. [b]FL[/b]: What [i]do[/i] you have, anyway? [i]FL inspects KIA noob[/i] [b]FL[/b]: What the hell are you using?? No land beyond?? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah, just got it from Xur this weekend. That thing is a BEAST. I mean, a sniper as a primary? That’s just insane. [b]FL[/b]: Wha.. I… What about the raid weapons you said you had? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Check out my shotgun. [b]FL[/b]: Swordbreaker?? [b]KIA noob[/b]: I know right? I got a sweet sniper as a primary for long range, and a raid shotgun for close range. [b]FL[/b]: I’m at a loss for words. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah I know. So many noobs on this game that don’t know how to equip properly. Don’t sweat it. Feel free to do the same. [b]FL[/b]: And that rocket launcher? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yup, that’s my baby. 3 rockets in the tube. So OP. [b]FL[/b]: It doesn’t even track enemies! [b]KIA noob[/b]: Why would I need it to track enemies? My aim is just fine. [b]FL[/b]: Dude, you need something with more damage. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Like what? What do you have that so much better? Let me see… Ga... Gaajjj… What is this, how do you even pronounce this? [b]FL[/b]: Gjallarhorn. Its only the best rocket launcher in the game. [b]KIA noob[/b]: What, this? It can only hold 2 rockets! [b]FL[/b]: Dude, but it creates explosive rounds that chase enemies. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah well, while you hit guys with 2 rockets and whatever, I’ll hit enemies with 3 rounds instead. So, mine is better. [b]FL[/b]: I’m not seriously having this discussion. Lets just get this done. [i]fireteam leaves and gets on the center platform. Swordbearer exits, FL grabs the sword.[/i] [b]FL[/b]: Ok guys aaand shoot! [i] rockets fly, 3 rockets miss[/i] [b]FL[/b]: He’s not going down! You didn’t get him! [b]KIA noob[/b]: hey, he moved. Not my fault. [b]FL[/b]: Whatever. Just… shoot him with your sniper. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah, NLB time! [b]FL[/b]: Oh god… Shoot him again guys, hit him with your snipers as well, let’s try getting at least one time. [i]crota goes down[/i] [b]FL[/b]: Ok one… two… three.. four hits,not bad, maybe we can get this after all. He’s moving, hide or go back inside. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah I’ll go to my usual spot. [b]FL[/b]: What usual spot? [i]KIA noob dies. Crota summons the oversoul[/i] [b]KIA noob[/b]: What the hell, there’s a blue guy down here! [b]FL[/b]: What the hell man! You went down? There’s a gatekeeper there in hard mode! Guys just shoot the… oh goddammit you’re inside the room… that’s another wipe. [b]KIA noob[/b]: yeah you need to get your sh*t together, the oversoul is easy. [b]FL[/b]: Dude don’t even start. Just… lets get this over with. [i]crystal is activated, glass shatters, enemies spawn, enemies are killed [/i] [b]KIA noob[/b]: I’m almost dead. [b]FL[/b]: Surprise surprise. [b]KIA noob[/b]: So we go outside and then back in? [b]FL[/b]: NO! You just… stay inside. Don’t go out. We’ll do this. If you go, you’ll just die and we’ll wipe again. Just get on top of a doorway and stay out of the thrall’s reach. Deal with them. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Fine. I’ll just protect you guys from here. [b]FL[/b]: Yeah, that’s it, you’re our protector! Come on guys lets go. [i]fireteam has 2 sword rounds, then ogres, then heads back inside[/i] [b]FL[/b]: OK guys this is it! Last sword, we’re gonna make it. NLB guy, remember, you just stay inside and protect us. [b]KIA noob[/b]: Don’t worry, I got your back. [i]fireteam leaves the room. Swordbearer is taken out[/i] [b]FL[/b]: Ok guys this is it! Ready aaand WHAT THE F*CK IS THE WIZARD DOING HERE!! [b]KIA noob[/b]: You don’t need to worry about the boomers on the right guys, I took care of them for you. [b]FL[/b]: WHAT??? [b]KIA noob[/b]: Yeah. I know those are a pain. You’re welcome. [i]wizard kills the sword carrier. Crota summons his oversoul.[/i] [b]FL[/b]: GAAAAHH! [i]firetam rage quits. FL quits too and starts a party chat with the other members[/i] [b]FL[/b]: Jesus can you believe that guy. God! Well guys breathe, we’ll just try and find someone that’s not a total moron and… wait, he’s sending me a voice message? What does this guy want? Just give me a minute [i][b]voice message from KIA noob[/b][/i]: Hey man, not really sure what happened there, anyway when you guys quit the game just kinda froze, the oversoul didn’t explode and all the guys were just standing there doing nothing, so I picked up the sword and hit Crota a bunch of times until he was dead! I got a sweet shader, the Word of Crota, the raid helmet and some Crux of Crota thingy that I don’t even know what its for, but other than that it was awesome! Oh, and I also got a Rocket Launcher like yours, Gallasomething, but that sucks so I’ll be dismantling it so I can fully upgrade my No Land Beyond! Anyway, hope you learned something, I can help you in the future if I’m not too busy. See ya!