If it takes longer than a few minutes I usually back out to the main menu and try again. Another solution is to start or join a full party to make a custom match.
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I don't have enough friends with the game for a party... I keep getting "your connection to the session has timed out or no longer exists."
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Oh. That's new. I haven't experienced that one yet. Sorry I can't be better help. For groups try http://evolvelfg.wix.com/evolvelfg