JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
11/8/2014 7:22:49 PM
274

Class Stereotypes and Why We Hate You

Hunter: You are a Hunter. Brash and flashy. You saw this class and it gave you a bountyhunter-y feel. You obsess over your hood and you would be pissed if your melee didn't involve a knife. You're either dead silent or too damn loud. There's a 60% chance your character is a female because you might be a little sexually confused, but you don't tell anyone that. You insist their hit box is smaller than the male body type as an excuse. You often jump into a horde of enemies with knife drawn, only to be revived by your Titan brethren. You rock the hand cannon, but you can't hit diddly-squat, so you switch to auto rifle when no one is looking. You insist you're precise, but you'd trade your sniper for a shotgun any day. Unless it's icebreaker. That thing is beast. Nothing will stop you from dancing when you capture the flag. Oh yes, you also insist you're the most skillful, but you mash buttons repeatedly, taking out an entire enemy of teams with a lightning blade. But it's okay. You have a cool cape! Does it come in men's sizes? Titan: You are a Titan. Self-reliant and strong. Your lack of personality and overload of testosterone made you pick the armored-warrior class. Your girlfriend is your right hand, and she's jealous of how much attention your enemies face gets with that right hand punch. When the going gets tough, you blame the Hunter for, well, being a Hunter, and blame the Warlock for not being a Titan. You lead your fireteam into the vault like Colonel Custer himself. You ask the Warlocks to push Atehon off, and then complain after the raid about how no one wants to do the raid legitimately. Your IQ is the length of your penis in inches + the amount of days you've spent playing crucible divided by your age. You dominate with your supers in crucible, but you're exotic weaponry is enough to take care of people. Everyone envies your armor, but without shaders, you'd just be another storm trooper. Are the Vex the droids you are looking for? Warlock: You are a Warlock. Powerful and intelligent. You don't go for capes or armor, you want that bathrobe. Your wide range of magical abilities makes your guns look like a pea-shooter, and you complain that's what your gun feels like. You've convinced yourself that you're higher up than the Titan because he's intellectually inferior, and you think the Hunter might be trying to get into your face, so you decide to silently judge them much like a [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] or Simon Cowell. There's a 50% chance your an Exo, and a 50% chance you're a huge geek. You lack the Hunter's bravery to dive into battle and the Titan's bravery to go revive him, so you place it chicken and self revive when necessary. That self revive does come in handy when giving the enemy a free extra kill in the crucible. You're considered a noob for pushing Atehon off the edge, but you must be skillful if it took you 30 damn minutes to finally get it right and push him off. You could be described as that one awkward guy that fantasizes a lot and there's a 19% chance you'd wear a fedora. Nice Warlocks finish last, don't they Neo? BONUS- The Destiny Player: You spent your cold hard (parents cash or child's college money) earnings on this incomplete game, and you're fine with that. You honestly expect to get random exotics, but that won't happen. You either enjoy Peter Dinklage's voice acting or gave this game a 4/10 on gamespot. When you finally do get an exotic you hold it close, and when Xur sells it you cry out loud for it to be nerfed, much like a small child begging for candy in a grocery store. You either enjoy Doritos or don't play this game enough. You think your posts on the forum will actually matter, but only other kids on at 11 PM will care. Thank god this game wasn't rated M right? You were upset by the expansion pack being sold the same day as the game, but you bought it anyways...didn't you squidward? I hope you enjoyed this little joke. Feel free to add your own stereotypes below. Try not to argue too much, remember it's all just a joke. We should all be more comfortable bashing each other's class instead of crying about it on the forums. Thanks for reading!
English
#Destiny

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
  • I'm a none-stereotypical Warlock trying to be a steretypical one. As soon as the strike starts, I ram the nearest enemy with my sparrow and melee another. Then I pick off the rest of the enemies with my Crusader scout rifle, each with a single headshot. I don't think I have a good aim, but it feels like the head hitboxes are pretty big for me. The Hunter has already left into the Darkness Zone while the Titan is by my side, taking his fair share of kills. We both jump on our Sparrows to catch up to the Hunter. Before we even get to the Darkness Zone, the Hunter gets killed in it and all three of us respawn at the beginning of the Zone. While in combat, I have the tendency to venture away from my Fireteam and surround myself with enemies. My health is an all time low, but I make it through somehow unless I get killed by a Hobgoblin. The Titan comes to revive me while the Hunter is busy cheesing with his sniper rifle. During the boss fight, the Hunter is still cheesing while the Titan plays in a typical manner, damaging the boss when he can and picking off the smaller mobs as necessary. The moment my Super charges up, I am overcome with the sense of godhood and Blink right up to the boss and slam in a Nova Bomb, after which I die from the boss's melee attack. The Hunter simply laughs from his camping spot while the Titan silently comes to revive me. I apologize to the Titan but he's cool with it. At the end of the game, the Hunter has one or two deaths while the Titan has a few to none. My death count is often a two digit number. I get Nemesis Plane while the Titan gets some Engrams, and of course... the Hunter recieves Legendaries. He then proceeds to freak out while the Titan and I shake our heads. With a sigh I level up my Uncommon fusion rifle.

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

1 2
You are not allowed to view this content.
;
preload icon
preload icon
preload icon