Hunter:
You are a Hunter. Brash and flashy. You saw this class and it gave you a bountyhunter-y feel. You obsess over your hood and you would be pissed if your melee didn't involve a knife. You're either dead silent or too damn loud. There's a 60% chance your character is a female because you might be a little sexually confused, but you don't tell anyone that. You insist their hit box is smaller than the male body type as an excuse. You often jump into a horde of enemies with knife drawn, only to be revived by your Titan brethren. You rock the hand cannon, but you can't hit diddly-squat, so you switch to auto rifle when no one is looking. You insist you're precise, but you'd trade your sniper for a shotgun any day. Unless it's icebreaker. That thing is beast. Nothing will stop you from dancing when you capture the flag. Oh yes, you also insist you're the most skillful, but you mash buttons repeatedly, taking out an entire enemy of teams with a lightning blade. But it's okay. You have a cool cape! Does it come in men's sizes?
Titan:
You are a Titan. Self-reliant and strong. Your lack of personality and overload of testosterone made you pick the armored-warrior class. Your girlfriend is your right hand, and she's jealous of how much attention your enemies face gets with that right hand punch. When the going gets tough, you blame the Hunter for, well, being a Hunter, and blame the Warlock for not being a Titan. You lead your fireteam into the vault like Colonel Custer himself. You ask the Warlocks to push Atehon off, and then complain after the raid about how no one wants to do the raid legitimately. Your IQ is the length of your penis in inches + the amount of days you've spent playing crucible divided by your age. You dominate with your supers in crucible, but you're exotic weaponry is enough to take care of people. Everyone envies your armor, but without shaders, you'd just be another storm trooper. Are the Vex the droids you are looking for?
Warlock:
You are a Warlock. Powerful and intelligent. You don't go for capes or armor, you want that bathrobe. Your wide range of magical abilities makes your guns look like a pea-shooter, and you complain that's what your gun feels like. You've convinced yourself that you're higher up than the Titan because he's intellectually inferior, and you think the Hunter might be trying to get into your face, so you decide to silently judge them much like a [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] or Simon Cowell. There's a 50% chance your an Exo, and a 50% chance you're a huge geek. You lack the Hunter's bravery to dive into battle and the Titan's bravery to go revive him, so you place it chicken and self revive when necessary. That self revive does come in handy when giving the enemy a free extra kill in the crucible. You're considered a noob for pushing Atehon off the edge, but you must be skillful if it took you 30 damn minutes to finally get it right and push him off. You could be described as that one awkward guy that fantasizes a lot and there's a 19% chance you'd wear a fedora. Nice Warlocks finish last, don't they Neo?
BONUS- The Destiny Player:
You spent your cold hard (parents cash or child's college money) earnings on this incomplete game, and you're fine with that. You honestly expect to get random exotics, but that won't happen. You either enjoy Peter Dinklage's voice acting or gave this game a 4/10 on gamespot. When you finally do get an exotic you hold it close, and when Xur sells it you cry out loud for it to be nerfed, much like a small child begging for candy in a grocery store. You either enjoy Doritos or don't play this game enough. You think your posts on the forum will actually matter, but only other kids on at 11 PM will care. Thank god this game wasn't rated M right? You were upset by the expansion pack being sold the same day as the game, but you bought it anyways...didn't you squidward?
I hope you enjoyed this little joke. Feel free to add your own stereotypes below. Try not to argue too much, remember it's all just a joke. We should all be more comfortable bashing each other's class instead of crying about it on the forums. Thanks for reading!
English
#Destiny
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LMAO pretty accurate. My warlock is an exo and I'm a huge geek. I will do everything I can to revive a teammate (unless they just died trying to melee a boss) and try to save my rez for just such an occasion. Hunters are too brash to be effective combatants and titans are only good as bullet sponges to draw aggro while I take credit for the kill.
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As a Warlock I take offense to your stereotype. As a Hunter I brush off your comments and walk away while maintaining my ladylike charm. As a Titan I yell back insults at you because Im a grower not a shower.
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My main is a warlock. Im an exo and i wear a trillby. Damn dude xD
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methinks you are a titan. the warlock and hunter descriptions were a little harsh warlock master race since we are the only ones that can kill dragons and the hunters stole blink from us read the grimoire if you dont believe me
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Im all three characters, what does that make me? :D
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This is great!
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Everything you said is so perfect. My glob.
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Edited by Mar: 11/8/2014 10:43:02 PMgood on you sir! well done indeed. you missed a few points though - hunter- you rolled this class because you read in the forums how op it is in PvP and what else in gaming is there am i right bro? can't wait for CoD to come out so i can quick scope those fools and make another dub step montage titan - you are secretly a huge coward but don't want anyone to know, thats why you chose the defender sub class and sit in your bubble shield but instantly trash talk when you kill anyone. you also are a necrophiliac because you just love corps humping, it just shows how cool you are. warlock - you are constantly complaining about how titans, hunters, shotguns, sniper rifles, auto rifles, hand cannons, pulse rifles, scout rifles, fusion rifles, rocket launchers, and machine guns are over powered. you think self revive is the only actual warlock talent and when you use it everyone just gets jealous and hits you with their supers, but you know it was just because they suck right? as a warlock 1st and foremost i approve the op's joke.
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Dude you win I love this.
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10/10
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but I'm a warlock, I jump onto a crowd of enemies with my VoC and kill everything. I'm always reviving people and usually the last to die only to self-revive and pick everyone else up :) But in all honesty the Hunter thing is spot on with an added 99% of kids pick the Hunter because #CoD360noscope420swag
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11/10 would definately read again
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Edited by andregramo: 11/8/2014 10:10:51 PMI am sorry but that-s the complete opposite of me(i-m a hunter), don-t know where you found those informations.
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Atheon patch no more final boss cheese -5
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Bump for giving me a laugh while I poo
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Aren't Titans advertised as female? Every concept art I've seen has them portrayed as females. Better start editing that shiieet. :D
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I.Fuking.Love.This
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10/10 would read again. Hilarious dude haha
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Last two lines for a hunter made me lol
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It's ironic how you called Titans without shaders "stormtroopers." With the chatterwhite shader: that's exactly what we look like. lol
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Hahaha