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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
11/8/2014 7:22:49 PM
274

Class Stereotypes and Why We Hate You

Hunter: You are a Hunter. Brash and flashy. You saw this class and it gave you a bountyhunter-y feel. You obsess over your hood and you would be pissed if your melee didn't involve a knife. You're either dead silent or too damn loud. There's a 60% chance your character is a female because you might be a little sexually confused, but you don't tell anyone that. You insist their hit box is smaller than the male body type as an excuse. You often jump into a horde of enemies with knife drawn, only to be revived by your Titan brethren. You rock the hand cannon, but you can't hit diddly-squat, so you switch to auto rifle when no one is looking. You insist you're precise, but you'd trade your sniper for a shotgun any day. Unless it's icebreaker. That thing is beast. Nothing will stop you from dancing when you capture the flag. Oh yes, you also insist you're the most skillful, but you mash buttons repeatedly, taking out an entire enemy of teams with a lightning blade. But it's okay. You have a cool cape! Does it come in men's sizes? Titan: You are a Titan. Self-reliant and strong. Your lack of personality and overload of testosterone made you pick the armored-warrior class. Your girlfriend is your right hand, and she's jealous of how much attention your enemies face gets with that right hand punch. When the going gets tough, you blame the Hunter for, well, being a Hunter, and blame the Warlock for not being a Titan. You lead your fireteam into the vault like Colonel Custer himself. You ask the Warlocks to push Atehon off, and then complain after the raid about how no one wants to do the raid legitimately. Your IQ is the length of your penis in inches + the amount of days you've spent playing crucible divided by your age. You dominate with your supers in crucible, but you're exotic weaponry is enough to take care of people. Everyone envies your armor, but without shaders, you'd just be another storm trooper. Are the Vex the droids you are looking for? Warlock: You are a Warlock. Powerful and intelligent. You don't go for capes or armor, you want that bathrobe. Your wide range of magical abilities makes your guns look like a pea-shooter, and you complain that's what your gun feels like. You've convinced yourself that you're higher up than the Titan because he's intellectually inferior, and you think the Hunter might be trying to get into your face, so you decide to silently judge them much like a [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] or Simon Cowell. There's a 50% chance your an Exo, and a 50% chance you're a huge geek. You lack the Hunter's bravery to dive into battle and the Titan's bravery to go revive him, so you place it chicken and self revive when necessary. That self revive does come in handy when giving the enemy a free extra kill in the crucible. You're considered a noob for pushing Atehon off the edge, but you must be skillful if it took you 30 damn minutes to finally get it right and push him off. You could be described as that one awkward guy that fantasizes a lot and there's a 19% chance you'd wear a fedora. Nice Warlocks finish last, don't they Neo? BONUS- The Destiny Player: You spent your cold hard (parents cash or child's college money) earnings on this incomplete game, and you're fine with that. You honestly expect to get random exotics, but that won't happen. You either enjoy Peter Dinklage's voice acting or gave this game a 4/10 on gamespot. When you finally do get an exotic you hold it close, and when Xur sells it you cry out loud for it to be nerfed, much like a small child begging for candy in a grocery store. You either enjoy Doritos or don't play this game enough. You think your posts on the forum will actually matter, but only other kids on at 11 PM will care. Thank god this game wasn't rated M right? You were upset by the expansion pack being sold the same day as the game, but you bought it anyways...didn't you squidward? I hope you enjoyed this little joke. Feel free to add your own stereotypes below. Try not to argue too much, remember it's all just a joke. We should all be more comfortable bashing each other's class instead of crying about it on the forums. Thanks for reading!
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  • I am a titan main, no wait I am THE TITAN MAIN. I like to go head on in situations not giving a fat -blam!- about my resilience. In crucible I rock only shotguns, especially chaperone, I typically sit in corners and wait to somebody passes by and I still miss my shotgun shot because hunters move too much. I find the biggest armor peice”s in the game to equip because I think it gives more health.I refuse to try any other subclass because warlocks are total nerds and need to try crayons for a change, and hunters are a bunch of flipping monkeys and can’t stay on the ground.My only primary is sweet business because it’s by far the best gun In the game and I refuse to use any other gun because it’s not worth my time. I only use fist of havoc and that’s the only super that I’ll ever use. I don’t use resilience because my gear is big enough to protect me. And for some reason pve and pvp I’m always at the bottom of the score board because people hack too much in this game.This is the only game I play because other games don’t make any sense to me. And I may have negative light level, but hunters, warlocks,and Zavala AINT GOT -blam!- ON ME.(have a great day my titan fans😁)

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  • I main titan, and mainly use void sentinel to shield my teammate to keep them alive in pve because that's my job and I'm not like other titan punching and die constantly (I hate crucible anyway). I never know titan main stereotype use shoulder charge a lot and I'm not one of them, I purposed use them escape on low health or bash on group of minor. Void sentinel helpful for me, the code of protector are my favorite. Some I punch enemies get over shield (often use when low health) and being a meat shield get the boss/major targeting me distracting them so my fireteam has a opportunity and chances. I play smart, when my 2 fireteams died at near group heavy/strong enemies, I keep myself alive until team spawn. Stay alive in last guardian it's more important than objective, and if one of my fireteam died front enemies or expose fire area the best of my strategy to use the shield block the fire and revive the team. My perspective being a Titan like a Tanking job mow down swarm enemies providing team a defensive. I don't press f at full super energy when my fireteam dying, but I hold f to keep them alive. (Titan bubbles a good tool for me)

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  • Edited by kindaSketch: 4/12/2017 2:30:42 PM
    I'm a titan fool it's plain to see, gaze upon my mark. I like to punch shit but never admit my bite is less than my bark. I lower my shoulder and charge head first to end an unexpecting life but get shit on bc that squishy ass hunter saw me and chucked his knife. I camp the special and the heavy to smash the unwashed masses. But mostly get beat down like a clown bc im scrubbier than other classes.

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  • REEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIVE!!! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!

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  • Warlock: I am the one-man-army. No group is too large, or boss too strong. I solo everything because space-magic. Screw the rest of the fireteam, I do what I want when I want because I'm a one-man-army with space magic. When I die, do I wait for my fireteam to come save me? Nope I self-revive because I'm a one-man-army. I'm a grenade fanatic. No literally. I even carry a spare one and am capable of spamming you with 12 in a period of about 30 seconds. Because space magic. When my supers are equipped I turn into God and recklessly fly into battle because nothing can touch me, even though I die immediately. This usually results in me having a death count in the double digits. I'm terrified of people entering my personal space bubble so I melee them at 20 feet away using space magic. Also, my robes are visually superior to anything you have, which clearly makes me better. Also, I can use space magic.

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  • I am a hunter. Half swiss army knife, half sabertooth paper tiger. I'm the best chance the team has of getting out of that oh sh-t moment in a nightfall. But equalling as likely to be the meat shield storming thru a crucible map. I am equally deadly with a sniper rifle as I am with a shot gun. And equally as likely to get blown up to a titan's sneeze. I like titans better then warlocks due to the fact.... Hunters hate voodoo space majiks. Ain't natural I tell you. Others look down on the fact that they can't be batman with my epic cape. I don't judge the football sweat towel titans need from sweating to death in that armor. I'm not even sure what the hades is up with that weird armband thing. Ain't natural I tell you. Johnny Derp mofos. All in all I'm a coin toss. Equally beneficial and equally suicidal. I am also convinced: I'm space batman!

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    • I'm a hunter..... Spot on m8! Also I like playing chicks cuz there sexy. But reading this post totally made me realize how much I obsess about those cloaks. I spent almost all my motes on all the cloaks from the speaker!!! I have a problem D;

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    • I'll take a cape over a kilt and arm band any day. I also pick female because I dislike staring at the back of a man. :b

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    • I don't need bravery bitch i got self res

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    • You forgot to mention that Titans love mexican food. We will be in the corner listening to the Hunters and Warlocks argue with fancy words but really we just enjoying our Tacos and hoping for a fist fight.

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    • Voidwalkers = warlock hipsters. We embrace the abyss ironically, and insist that the sound quality is just so much better. Self revive is so, ugh, mainstream.

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      • Started with an Awoken Female Warlock because "magic" often overpowers "might," but apparently not in armour as I routinely get spanked while my Titan buddy waltzes right in. Thank Xurness for the Icebreaker or I'd just be watching this show as a ball of glowing blue light. Xursday (the day before Saturday...) is now my favourite day of the week. Tried Hunter second because I ran one in the Beta and it seemed to be a Warlock with a fun throwing knife. The only good thing about my Human Female Hunter however (yes, her primary is a Revolver - too funny, good guess) is how her cape-free butt looks in tactical camo-coloured rubber riding a Sparrow. Finally went to Exo Male Titan because I got tired of getting my own ass kicked, now since corrected by the ridiculous multi-kill power of the super-slam. Male + Exo + Titan just seemed to be the heaviest, dumbest, killingest, badassest sort of combo Destiny could muster for me. Now he looks sort of like a black T2000 in a Power Ranger outfit, but at least an angry guy-grunt has replaced the embarrassing squeal of the previous two characters whenever they get hit. Fortunately, in his case, the grunt is usually followed by a devastating smack-down in reply, instead of running for cover to hide. "You like Apples? Yeah? Well I just vaporized you and your entire troop for making me make a grunting noise. How d'you like THEM apples?" :)

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        • I am a Titan, addicted to the thrill of running into the fray and vaporizing a mob with my super. Though I might be a nice person outside the game, being a strong tank lets my more competitive/anger management issues run rampant in a hail of bullets and a healthy dose of face punches (followed my some expletive laced boasting). I am a gentle giant however, and my better nature shines when I can protect my teammates with my Defender skills. Just don't kill me in the crucible or laugh at my slow ass when running through an area on a strike or I [i]will[/i] hulk out on you. I am a hunter, a sleek, quick badass that enjoys the metallic clink of my blade as it destroys my enemies before they realize what happened. I know my super is OP, but also know most of you don't mind when I'm on your fireteam. I'm somewhat cocky and part of me enjoys the hate because it fuels my ego, confirming my deadliness. You won't see me in the crucible until it's too late because that's how I like it. I won't go toe to toe with you because that would mess with my K/D ratio.

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        • I'm a none-stereotypical Warlock trying to be a steretypical one. As soon as the strike starts, I ram the nearest enemy with my sparrow and melee another. Then I pick off the rest of the enemies with my Crusader scout rifle, each with a single headshot. I don't think I have a good aim, but it feels like the head hitboxes are pretty big for me. The Hunter has already left into the Darkness Zone while the Titan is by my side, taking his fair share of kills. We both jump on our Sparrows to catch up to the Hunter. Before we even get to the Darkness Zone, the Hunter gets killed in it and all three of us respawn at the beginning of the Zone. While in combat, I have the tendency to venture away from my Fireteam and surround myself with enemies. My health is an all time low, but I make it through somehow unless I get killed by a Hobgoblin. The Titan comes to revive me while the Hunter is busy cheesing with his sniper rifle. During the boss fight, the Hunter is still cheesing while the Titan plays in a typical manner, damaging the boss when he can and picking off the smaller mobs as necessary. The moment my Super charges up, I am overcome with the sense of godhood and Blink right up to the boss and slam in a Nova Bomb, after which I die from the boss's melee attack. The Hunter simply laughs from his camping spot while the Titan silently comes to revive me. I apologize to the Titan but he's cool with it. At the end of the game, the Hunter has one or two deaths while the Titan has a few to none. My death count is often a two digit number. I get Nemesis Plane while the Titan gets some Engrams, and of course... the Hunter recieves Legendaries. He then proceeds to freak out while the Titan and I shake our heads. With a sigh I level up my Uncommon fusion rifle.

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        • I am a Titan..... I probably liked Halo....... a lot. All problems can be solved by punching them. I am the least likely to bitch and whine about Xur. My teammates want me to be a defender but I roll as a striker to do more punching/smashing. EVERYONE ELSE HAS BLINK! I WANT BLINK! I am a Hunter: I like capes. I want to stab everything. I'm probably prepubescent or played way too much assassin's creed. Survivability is for noobs. I'm going to blink CONSTANTLY, sometimes off a cliff. I don't like strikes because you can't stab the boss. I am a Warlock. I blame hunters. When I get my ass kicked in the crucible I say it's because Hunters are OP. When Xur sells Sunbreakers AGAIN I bitch about how the Hunter has had such a plethora of exotics sold by Xur. I say the bladedancer is OP even though I could end him with a nova bomb. I say the bladedancer has better grenades than a sunsinger even though 2 out of the 3 are THE SAME GRENADE IN A DIFFERENT COLOR. I am a warlock and HUNTERS ARE RUINING MY LIFE!

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          • That's a good question, do the cape's come in mens sizes?

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          • Perfect! I luv it XD

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          • But im the best hunter right mang, like 6000 hand cannon kills so I can shoot mang

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          • Gunslingers get no love... Or hate... Maybe it's a good thing those bladedancers have the limelight *shoots oracles with golden gun and slowly fades into sniper position*

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          • These Vex you speak of might in fact be the droids I was looking for. Could you point me in the right direction? I need to go punch them in the face with my girlfriend. I'd make the hunter go do it, but well, he's a hunter and would just screw it up and then I'd have to go help him anyway. HEY! I said tell me where they are or I swear I'll wreck you mate!

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          • Wrong!! Hunters and warlocks are dumb because they are squishy! Now if you will excuse me, I must go punch things.

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            • Warlock slowly looks up from his book* I find your assumptions about rather intellectually inadequate. My op grenades is what gets stuff done, my self revive is what saves the vog, my crucible time is little to none, but my bathrobe looks fabulous in white Proceeds to read his book again*

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              • So accurate. I hope those hunters realize they all sound like this...

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                • Hahaha nice

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                • If you don't like the game, act like a normal human being, not a 16 yr old girl, and just stop playing it. U idiotic troll...

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                  • Wow I sadly think that this is true 😞

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