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#Truth

Edited by FoMan123: 10/9/2014 4:35:41 AM
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Gentlemen of Destiny. We need to talk.

Preach.

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I am really insecure and women make me nervous.

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BUT WHAT ABOUT NO GIRLS ALLOWED?!

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...when you put it that way...

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It's really sad, some of the behavior I see toward women. I want to say that this describes a loud minority of players...but that would be a lie. It's the majority. I just don't get it. MAYBE they are just extra hormonal guys hoping to meet a cool gamer chick who would be into them. [i]But aren't we all?[/i] No seriously, I think single guys don't realize that every (heterosexual) guy kinda hopes to meet a girl who is into the same things they are. At least in passing. And yeah, it would be really cool. Yeah, I find it really hot when my fiance sets dudes on fire and giggles about it. But in knowing that, you know that [i]the way to get a really great girl to pay attention to you, who shares a hobby with you, is not to just walk up and hump her.[/i] For example... say we were both into bowling. We're both bowlers. Cool, she's a bowler! We bowl! We can talk about bowling and bowl together! Great stuff! I sure hope this girl who bowls likes me, or at least gives me a chance! Hell, I'd be okay with being friends just to shake up the sausage fest formula on my bowling team a bit! It would be NICE to have a girl or two around, because it's NICE to have girls around. I like girls! They're cool! [b]LET ME GO SHOW THIS BY SHAGGING HER LEFT LEG, CALLING HER A SLUT AND TELLING HER TO GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN.[/b] See the problem? Not only will she tell you to -blam!- off, she'll probably think twice about bowling again. Everyone loses. She loses a hobby, you lose a chance to interact with someone who isn't drowning in testosterone and maybe, MAYBE, might be willing to give you a chance on another level. Here's more truth: I don't think male gamers want to admit the fact that they [i]like[/i] playing with women. I'm taken. I'm happily taken. But I still do like playing with women as much as like gaming with the boys. For the same reason I like playing with different people at all---they're different. The same old jokes get tired. The same voices get tired. Sometimes, I just like playing a game with a girl---because a girl is another type of human, and the same old humans get boring fast. That's the point of the internet. Who really makes this so difficult? The dick measurers. The same people who call everything Over Powered, the same people who rage when they get crushed in Crucible, or rage at bosses, or just rage. See, they can tell that their repugnant attitude repels women. So they see people with women in their groups, and [i]because that is more rare[/i] they either whine about not having it OR claim that women just aren't wanted. See: The common reaction to exotics. You either get rational people who get it if they got it and are happy with it and not upset if they didn't, people who rage about not having them because they don't, or people who try to convince everyone that no one needs them because they can't figure out how to make sure that they're the one with the thing not everyone has. They don't hate girl gamers. They don't want to be the gamer with no girls in their group, and can't figure out why they're the reason for that problem. Somehow it becomes a status thing, like almost everything else, while the rest of us out here who are reasonable are just like... Lolwut? ~Ricochet EDIT: Respondent said this needed a TL:DR. Here it is. [quote]Here, I'll do it for you: Be nice to girls. It can be fun to play video games with girls. Don't be mean to girls. Maybe if you are nice more of them will play.[/quote] ...and furthermore, it shouldn't be a hostile environment for women to begin with. Not cool, no matter what your reasons are behind behaving the way you do. EDIT: 4pm Eastern Standard Time, I'm retiring replying to people. Thanks to everyone who participated in this conversation!

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  • When Are you going to come out

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    • I have one issue with this post. It assumes that it's directed towards purely girl gamers, it's not, it's everyone, different religions, ethnicity, gender, likes, dislikes, social habits, age. too many people hating for no other reason than a lack of understanding, and it's something that you really need to learn growing up, respect for others.. far too lacking nowadays.

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      • I play a female hunter and always dance for my friends. They want to throw glimmer at me but they can't! Bungie! We need a throw glimmer option!

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        • #girl #girlgamer #women tell me more about how you're not tagging for attention. tell me more about how I should be nicer to women than any other anonymous male asshole on the internet. tell me more about how I can't be an asshole to EVERYONE. you want EQUALITY? then I'm gonna call you a -blam!- and corpse hump your body. #dealwithit

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          • This post is missing something #fedora #friendzone #whiteknighting annnnd we're good now.

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            • I see some dispicable behaviour in the tower. My Alt character is Female Awoken Titan, and last night after completing the Nightfall I went to cash in some engrams and pick up a bounty or 2. At first I thought the group of 3 dudes standing around me were admiring my Crest of Lupi chestpiece, or perhaps my nice white shader, or maybe it was the Blue Halo around my head.... Nope they all stood around me, thrusting up and down, trying to virtually Bukake me...I felt violated and ashamed so I had to leave the tower...I have been so scarred that I havn't been back since.

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              • I think you're overthinking this. First off, I think it IS the extreme minority. Second, I'm pretty sure that most of the people you describe are just sort of dicks in general, not dicks to women specifically. Even if that's not the case, the way to frame opposition to any of this stupid shit is to say "don't be a dick." It doesn't have to be July 29th to ask people to not be dicks. People have been taught that "politically correct" is some bizarre system of extreme restraint. Really, though, 99% of the time, if someone says shit with no regard for who they might hurt or piss off, that person is an ass hole. "Not PC" is just the PC term for "ass hole." Framing it any other way is basically pretending that specific ways of being an ass hole are different from others.

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                • we have multiple girl gamers in my clan, one of our admins is female. There a blast to play with, and i wouldn't tolerate someone talking to down to any of them just because they are females. Girls come join our clan http://www.bungie.net/en/Clan/Detail/364637

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                  • Quit calling them girl gamers. Gamers. That is all.

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                    • Typically I used to use my mic to call out strats, or coordinate something, but there were just so much name calling, sexual references, and lack of respect that I just stopped using it altogether. Didn't really bother me though cause what I was doing was actually making my team better. By focusing more on my own gameplay, I just grew into a better player. Now when I get called a name, no matter how horrible it is, I just laugh because that teenage boy yelling is head off at me, just woke up his parents and is about to get in trouble.

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                      • A girl gamer has to know the problems of gaming online with guys as they are dealing with it all the time, Tbh I've been attacked verbally my girl gamers a bunch of times for no reason pretty much everyone of them apart from one which I am now really good friends with I think it's a common thing that you are either going to be apart of it or just step away and mute them and generally discourage it. My Sister is a gamer she is constantly defending her status as a girl gamer all the time when she talks to me and to others and when I say she is bad at a game its not because of her gender its because I beat her in that instance. I guess my point is There is always someone trying to tell me or other people that my passion for gaming is pathetic or that they don't like me for whatever reason from females and male from gamers and non gamers, and I hate to think that girls have to be so guarded and jaded by interacting with an online community and I think it is one of the reasons why games get a bad rep i'd like it to change whatever you are you should be welcome.

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                        • I met my husband while playing Diablo on the PC over Battlenet. Together 14 years, married for 8. Just wanted to throw that in randomly :) Seriously though, most men/boys I have gamed with have been alright. If I get one of the over-sexed/sexist/whatever individuals I just block and move on. They are in the minority although some games do seem to attract them (UNO, Full House Poker on the XBOX 360.) Also I have witnessed some girls/women acting just as bad towards the opposite sex. I agree with what someone posted in the comments already and that is we are all gamers no matter our gender.

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                          • True that, I hate just hearing normal guys being douchebags normally to other people. But when I hear other guys being mean to women gamers it pisses me off because most of my friends on xbox are girls and they all had the same problem of even wanting to put a mic in for fear of being harassed. Even my girlfriend was scared to talk to me when me and my friend when we met her over zombies. It pisses me off because people have no consideration for anyone but themselves most of the time. So thanks for posting this on the forums and showing me that there is still a little hope left in humanity. Also anyone looking to raid or just for someone to play with on xbox one, hit me up cuz I am always looking to make new friends. Gamertag is J3TS4LIF3 and yes I know I am a jets fan but I am one of the only cool and chill ones.

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                            • Playing with the "boys" hmm? -blam!-van.... I kid

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                              • I'm a girl gamer and I refuse to use a mic because guys are dicks when it comes to them finding out your a girl like the other day I had a guy msg me asking me to send him a pic of my boobs like wtf so I use no mic never will

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                                • Why are you making this such a big deal when its not. Yeah some guys are rude. But over the years of playing I have played with more rude women then men. Side note most of the girls I have played with act like little 🎅🎅🎅 if you know what I mean, and are surprised when guys hit on them.

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                                  • Thanks for sticking up for us girls! We have just as much right to be here too : )

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                                    • Well said good sir. I honestly think that girl gamers need lots more respect. Bump

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                                    • Edited by XapZero: 10/30/2014 11:38:18 AM
                                      Aren't you just stating the obvious. Because most the people who would take the time to read a post like this I would imagine will be like minded people who agree with most of what you said. So it's kind of self defeating. I will give you credit that through this forum you may have started to bring people with the same mentality together. May I suggest you start a group and use this forum as your launch pad. And try and consolidate these groups (not a clan) of players. Could be the start of something. Just an idea I'm putting out there. Also congrats on the engagement.

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                                    • Dear girl gamers: Play Destiny on Playstation 4 or Xbox One. Both these two new next-gen consoles have probably the greatest feature ever added to a video game console! The recorder! Did some sexist douche or teenager insult you? Well guess what? The PS4 always records the last 15 minutes of gameplay, while the Xbox One always records the last 5 minutes of gameplay! Save the video, keep a video record of the harassment and report it to Sony or Microsoft! You now have visual and audio proof! If I'm not mistaken, cyber-bullying is illegal in many states! You could sue the offender or at most, get their accounts suspended or even permanently banned. The reason many immature men act sexist towards women gamers is because they know they can get away with it. Not all gamers have a 3rd party recorder set up on the Xbox 360 or Playstation 3, so it's very easy for that generation of console gamers to get away with harassment. But next-gen consoles are not like that! Thanks to Microsoft and Sony, the future of online console gaming looks very bright! You now have the tools at your disposal to stop these people! Don't let them get away with it! Hit that PS4 Share Button! Go into your Xbox One video editor and save the last 5 minutes of video with the offender in action!

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                                      • Edited by Hawx: 10/28/2014 7:51:44 PM
                                        Found MY Thread

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                                        • Ya it's pretty bad when you get name called or called down just because your a girl. I've had to actually leave games because of the harassment from some of the guys. Dosent really make u overjoyed to come back. But then again u find some guys that really don't care and I love that. No special treatment lets just play the game! I've been tempted to even purchase a voice changer to a guys so I won't get harassed or judged.

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                                          • Edited by Kilobyte Killa: 10/9/2014 1:13:24 AM
                                            Baby girl, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there are "some" of us out there that generally treat women with quite a bit of respect. Myself being one of them...even strippers are people. I'll get straight to the point however. Most women suck at games. Does this mean all of them? Nope, just most. Most women have whiny nagging voices. All? No...but most. Most women take things in ways that they were never "intended" to take them in. You get too damn emotional about things, even if they are just jokes. I couldn't give a flip what any of you think seeing as the last one I had is flying away into the distance over the horizon as we speak. My advice is this...stop being so much like little girls, and start being friendly fun-loving MATURE "people" . Women love me, and I love them. The reasons as to why those two things are true will remain hidden...because well, I don't really care about what people on the internet think of me. I will never meet most of you in person, and I'd like to keep it that way... ( From what I've already seen from this community thus far ) Long story short. Just stop taking things so damn serious...dicks will be dicks. It's in their nature and they don't know any better. Laugh at them, jest at them, and then move on with your game or your life. They are not WORTH all of this time and effort that you give them. It only makes them feel like they are doing something that gets them noticed...and that's exactly what they want, to be noticed. They don't care how they do it, or what people think of them in order to be noticed. THEY JUST WANT TO BE NOTICED. Ignore them and move on. There aren't many out there that share my views, but there are a select "few" . All you can do is hope you game with mature folk more often, there are no guarentees in this life aside from the fact that one day we will all die. Enjoy life until then. #YOLO ( EDITED due to me missing a word )

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                                            • This is why I would like to form an all female gamer team for VOG, looks like mics are essential and I don't want to be singled out etc. How would I go about doing that anyway?

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                                              • You're a genius! Guys! It's enough to be friendzoned in real life! Don't try to be in virtual worlds!

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                                              • You, good sir, deserve a medal for voicing this out loud! Cheers!

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