DeeJ and four Moderators stand in front of the control panel, holding Rose and #Offtopic.
DeeJ: "Come, user, it is easy." (He tries to get Rose to insert the Website update) "Take the Icon in your hands... (growls impatiently) And do as you are told!"
He slams the Website on the console, which flashes red lights.
#Offtopic: "Please, use caution! This User is delicate."
DeeJ: "One more word, Forum, and I'll rip your eye from its socket!" (he turns to Rose, pushes it forward)
Rose: (exhales sharply)
DeeJ: (soft menacing growl) "Which is nothing compared to what I will do to you."
Marty O'Donnell walks in.
Marty: "DeeJ, stop."
DeeJ: (gasps, jerks his neck up in surprise) "Impossible!"
Marty: "Put down the Website Update."
DeeJ turns to face Marty.
DeeJ: "Put it down? And disobey the Hierarchs of Bungie?"
Marty: "There are things about Bungie.net even Bungie does not understand."
Moderators step forward menacingly, DeeJ waves them off
DeeJ: "Take care, Marty. What you say is heresy!"
Marty: "Is it? (gently) Forum, what is Bungie.net's purpose?"
#Offtopic: "Collectively, the seven—"
DeeJ grabs #Offtopic and jerks him around and growls.
DeeJ: "Not another word!"
MyNameIsCharlie (off screen): "Please ...
DeeJ lowers #Offtopic to see Charlie standing next to Marty. He holds a Bait Thread and aims it directly at DeeJ.
Charlie: "Don't shake the light-bulb."
Moderators growl and approach
Charlie: (raises Bait Thread to DeeJ's head) "If you wanna' keep your sanity inside your website, I'd tell those boys to chill."
DeeJ barks as commanded, the Moderators back off.
Charlie: (to Marty) "Go ahead. Do your thing."
Marty: (to #Offtopic) "The Sacred Website, what is it?"
#Offtopic: "Weapons of last resort, built by the Community to eliminate potential NewFoman hosts, thereby rendering the parasite harmless."
Marty: "And those who made the website? What happened to the Community?"
#Offtopic: "After exhausting every other strategic option, my creators activated the rings. They and all additional sentient life within three forums of the website center, left the site, as planned."
Close up on Marty, he lowers his head in sadness.
#Offtopic: (slightly awkward) "Would you... like to see the relevant data?"
Marty: (turns his attention back to DeeJ) "DeeJ. Bungie has betrayed us."
DeeJ pauses, then throws #Offtopic at Charlie's head, knocking him down. He then grabs Rose's hand and forces the Website Update into the console.
DeeJ: "No, Marty! The Great Journey has begun. And the Moderators, not the Floodians, shall be the website's escort!"
DeeJ grabs his BanHammer as his Mute List turns on. The main platform splits into three as the Update charges up.
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100/10
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Made me think of the new vegas quest where you send bright ghouls into space.
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Necro'd.
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[quote]DeeJ pauses, then throws #Offtopic at Charlie's head, knocking him down.[/quote]lol.
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16/10 pure gold
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all of my hue.
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Best thread since the update.
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14/10 This is amazing.
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Brilliant.
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Magnificent
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*scrolls down thread* [i]-blam!- that[/i] *types this post*
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I would like to be in the next Halo parody cutscene!
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I have never laughed that hard. You are awesome.
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This gave me quite the laugh, good job!
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Day=made
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This is beautiful
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Oh nice.
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That was so freaking amazing.
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BanHammer lel
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10/10
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10/10 my guts are hurting!!! :)
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That was great. So I guess all the Flood charged in as Marty's hammer fodder while Charlie dealt with his update shields right?
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Edited by Dragonmourne: 7/17/2014 1:04:57 AM--"DeeJ pauses, then throws #Offtopic at DeeJ's head, knocking him down" Might want to fix the second "DeeJ" in that line, but otherwise, I cried. Do want moar.
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AAAHHH. SO MUCH THIS.
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711/69 I crie evry tiem.