>I was only 9 years old >I loved scooby doo so much, I had all the merchandise, movies, and shows on VHS >I pray to shaggy every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given >"Shaggy is, like, love man", I say. "Shaggy is like, life" >My dad hears me and calls me a -blam!- pothead >I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shaggy >I call him a spooky space kook >He slaps me and tells me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts >I lay in bed and it's really cold >A warmth is moving towards me >It's shaggy and scooby doo >I'm so happy >he whispers in my ear "I see you, you're ready and you're willing" >he feeds me scooby snacks >we all get high as -blam!- >He grabs me with his scrawny hippie hands and puts me on my hands and knees >I'm ready >I spread my ass cheeks for shaggy and scoob >shaggy takes my mouth as the dog penetrates my butthole >It hurts so much but I do it for Shaggy >I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water >I'm getting shagged by shaggy >I push against their forces >I want to please Shaggy >Scooby howls a mighty "ROOBY ROOBY ROOOOO" as my butt and mouth are filled with their love >My dad walks in >Shaggy looks him straight in the eye and screams "ZOINKS! Like, it's the monster, man!" >Scooby jumps on him >he tears his face off with his vicious dog jaws >it's not dad >it's Old Man Withers >"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids" >Shag and Scoob leave out the window >police come, they think old man withers -blam!- me >he gets a life sentence >Shaggy is love >Shaggy is life