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originally posted in:Secular Sevens
Edited by Mad Max: 1/30/2013 12:46:17 AM
68

For the longest time I didn't know I was an atheist. [long story]

[i]S7 is pretty quiet these days. Just thought I'd share a little story.[/i] My dad comes from a very Catholic family; my mom, Jewish. Both had pretty rough childhoods which involved little time for church and religious activities. After they married, they pretty much severed ties with their faith. We never went to church. Never said prayers. Never said "bless you". Never even talked about religion, faith, afterlife, etc. That was normal for me. It wasn't until my junior year of high school did I realize I was an atheist. Sure, I had friends who were religious. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon; you name it. I wasn't unfamiliar with their belief systems, either...I just never questioned my own beliefs...or lack thereof. I grew up in a pretty conservative town, and the Christian church was a big deal. The first thing that someone asked me when I moved in to town was if I was Christian. I'm pretty sure I responded with "umm, I guess??" It was one particular day that made it clear. One of my best friends, who I had grown up with, randomly said to me during lunch "Max, I'm sorry you're going to hell." [i]Whoa, whoa whoa. Hold the phone[/i], I thought. I was a good person! I was nice to people, I did community service, I was close with my family and cared for them when they needed me. Surely someone as good as me shouldn't be going to hell. There's no way that such a loving God would send me to hell just because I didn't believe in him. Similarly, someone who was a good, devout Christian such as my friend wouldn't wish such a terrible fate on me. It didn't click until right then. God wasn't good. He wasn't a universally nice guy who did everything in his power [which is unlimited, mind you; this guy created the [i]universe[/i]] to make sure there was peace on Earth. The world is a shitty place plagued with war, disease, famine, and crime. If God was so powerful, why didn't he do anything to stop it? Which later led me to Epicurus: [quote]Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?[/quote] That was it. I was an atheist. I mean, I always have been, but at this point I actually knew it. I started reading the Bible, just for some context and understanding. The glaring contradictions in passages, and utter hatred that occurs really turned me off. To me, it was a colossal waste of time to even worry about what God thinks of me. He comes off as a needy teenage girl who requires attention at all times. So, if you read this, great. If not, no biggie. Just thought some of you might like a little story. Hell, I'll even make it not private.

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