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Edited by edableshoe:
7/24/2013 8:57:20 PM
19
What is the point of dating?
What is the intention, point, or expected result of dating to you, personally?
I was reading today a posts by another user today, and I quote;
[quote]Dating is supposed to lead to marriage. If you're not serious about marrying anybody, then just tell them you want to be friends or just tell them you're only interested in sleeping around. If you're up front about it, then no one can be hurt.[/quote]
To me, this is invariably misguided. Dating shouldn't, de facto, lead to marriage. In fact, it shouldn't have that as the original intention. Dating, in my opinion, is about the experiences and learning from them.
Dating is a means of learning more about yourself. You find what you like, and what you don't like. You learn what kind of person you are, and how you unfold yourself for those you care for, and possibly love.
If you imagine that dating is uncontestedly to lead to marriage, then how could you ever know that you are dating the correct one? If the end result is marriage, then how could you ever be expected to leave the relationship, and to try anew with a partner that might be more appropriate for you?
Never enter a relationship with the explicit intent of getting married, unless the relationship has already been cultivated by a previous amount of time spent together. (I would say years, but it differs from couple to couple. It could be years for some, and only months for others. Who's to really say.)
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Dating, the way people are doing it now-a-days is like they're trying to figure out what kind of person they want to be married to. Well, when you try out multiple women (as though you were married to them), you're going to get a lot of hurt women after you discard them like a used rag and you're only going to hurt your chances of desiring to be with one woman only. You're also going to alienate yourself to women as you begin to see them not as people, but as things. As you get older, you'll never marry and end up a very sad, lonely individual. Either that, or you'll get married to a woman you think is the woman you want to marry, but then another, prettier fun woman comes along and you're like, oh shoot I should've waited, now I got kids with this lady... What do I do- well then you decide to cheat on her and she finds out and then you're in the doghouse in divorce court and you've lost everything. And that, my friend, is why you should really only date for marriage or a serious relationship, because the grass will always be greener, but then it just turns out to be crab grass. There is a way to date which is more respectable and neither person gets hurt. Going out for drinks or food or movies & keeping your pants on. This, I think of as more of a friendship though.
