Hey there, this is the right place for this kind of question.
Bungie will not unlink accounts or modify cross-save under any circumstance.
You'll need to work with Microsoft and Sony to recover the login credentials for those accounts.
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I don’t really know how I can get sony or microsoft to help me get into the accounts. Is there seriously no way that they can’t just remove my steam account from the cross save setup? I have no characters or anything on steam. It just really sucks because I have all the expansions and I can’t use them.
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Playstation account support can be found here -> https://www.playstation.com/en-gb/support/account/ XBox Live's is here -> https://support.xbox.com/en-GB/help/account-profile/manage-account/lost-password-solution There are ways there to regain access even if you've lost the email accounts they were associated with too. You can use things like payment details, personal info, etc. Yes, there is seriously no way. You set it up with your account credentials, and you need to cancel it with the same.
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Ok, thanks for the resources