pretty good! I ditto KSeth's Advice

This looks interesting. May I add this to my [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/245771343/0/0]Archive[/url]? Due to its shortness, there’s not much feedback I can give. There are a few spots where you should add commas or change commas to periods, to make the sentences flow better. In future chapters, make sure you pay attention to where sentences end and where commas are needed. That’s the only real problem you have, other than a few other small errors. I’ve marked a few things with 🖍 and put corrections in [b]bold letters[/b] [quote]An old transcript found in the Dreaming City of two unknown voices and Tokodia, Forsakened 🖍[b]Forsaken[/b] Light. UV1: Are you sure about this? It seems like this placed is doomed no matter what. T: Yes we must, my employer wishes it, our purpose is clear. We are to stall the curse until further notice, trust me we’ll get paid with many rewards while we are here. UV1: Ok, you better not be tricking us again 🖍[b]remove the word “again”[/b], I hear you have a habit of doing so. T: I won’t deny I’ve trick many Guardians before but I won’t ever dare cross you two. UV2: We have names you know- T: I know you have names, but the Vanguard tries to watch me constantly, just yesterday I had a run in with one of Cayde’s best scouts. UV2:*wishers 🖍[b]whistles[/b] in Tokodia’s ear* UV1: Well then I guess we better get going T: yes, I’ll contact you later, in the meantime, I have a old accomplice to see Transcript ends...[/quote] If you have any questions about my corrections, please ask I look forward to reading more