This is a little tale of nonsense, mischief and general hate towards the RNG system that I just wrote, remembering the good old days were Rahool kept giving us Rare gear for our Legendaries… [i]A Titan comes back to the tower, with a Legendary Helmet Engram. He goes to visit the Cryptarch right away.[/i] [b]Titan[/b]: Hey, Master Rahool.. I found this during my last assignment. [b]Rahool[/b]: Oh, the wonders that could be inside this Engram! What could it contain? [b]Titan[/b]: Look… please cut the c**p. Just decrypt it already and tell me what it is. [b]Rahool[/b]: Alright Titan, give me just a moment… [i]Rahool goes inside his little tent, and comes out with a helmet.[/i] [b]Rahool[/b]: Well, what do you know? A Toutatis Helmet Type 4! A most remarkable- [b]Titan[/b]: GOD DAMMIT!! [b]Rahool[/b]: I suspected you´d choose that one. [b]Titan[/b]: WHAT? NO!! JUST, NO! I didn´t choose this goddamn helmet. It´s a RARE Helmet, you friggin´smurf! I brought you a Legendary Engram, how come I got a Rare piece of armor… AGAIN!! Last time, I gave you an Engram for a Heavy Weapon and you gave me A FRIGGIN´TOASTER! [b]Rahool[/b]: Now, Titan, stay calm. There´s no way of knowing what an Engram contains. Did you remember to pray to Ahren-Jesus before giving me the Engram? [b]Titan[/b]: -sigh- well, whatever. I have enough marks and glimmer for a helmet, anyway. Thanks for… nothing, I guess. [i]Titan goes to claim some bounties, then goes downstairs to visit Lord Shaxx.[/i] [b]Titan[/b]: Good evening, Lord Shaxx. So… I proved myself in the Crucible and I would like to acquire a helmet, please. Here are the Crucible marks and Glimmer required. [b]Shaxx[/b]: Ok, everything seems in order… Here you go: A DURGA-GNT Type 0, just arrived! [b]Titan[/b]: … hold up. What? [b]Shaxx[/b]:… well, I said that this helmet has just arrived to us. [b]Titan[/b]: I see. It all makes sense now. [b]Shaxx[/b]: What makes sense? [b]Titan[/b]: THIS IS ALL A SCAM, ISN´T IT? We take Legendary Engrams to that guy, Rahool, and he gives us inferior gears and weapon back… just that it´s random junk he has in his wares!! He keeps our Engrams, gets the true Legendary items out of them, and he gives you whichever armor or weapons came out. AND WE END UP PAYING FOR ITEMS WE HAD ALREADY EARNED AND COLLECTED! YOU A**HOLES ARE RIPPING US OFF! [i]Shaxx slaps the Titan across the face. The Titan goes silent, shocked by the slap.[/i] [b]Shaxx[/b]: Get ahold of yourself, Titan. I understand the disappointment in receiving an inferior-graded item from a Legendary Engram, so hard to obtain. I know that it happens more often than we wish. But when your Ghost saw the engram, didn´t it tell you that it could contain a wide range of goods? From uncommon, to exotic, and everything in between? [b]Titan[/b]: Y-yes… yes he did, but- [b]Shaxx[/b]: So you knew from the start that this could happen. Now, you are accusing me, Rahool, and probably the whole Tower, of running a scam to get the wares we sell for free, to then sell them to you for profit. It is a grave accusation, but I am willing to ignore it. However, what seems to be more likely? That the entire Tower is implicated in a large-scale conspiracy to steal goods from our Guardians, the very same warriors we mentor and train to be our front line defense… or that, simply, you have been a victim of bad luck? [b]Titan[/b]: … the second one. [b]Shaxx[/b]: You see, Titan. It is OK to feel frustrated. But don´t let that get the best of you. Plus, you don´t only fight for loot, right? You are fighting to save humanity from the Darkness, are you not? [b]Titan[/b]: Yes, I suppose so. [b]Shaxx[/b]: There you go. The answers we seek are usually way more simple than we think. Now, get this helmet and test it out in battle. Tell you what: I´ll give you a discount to make you feel better. 200 less Glimmer, and 10 less marks for it. How about it? [b]Titan[/b]: That would be great. Thank you so much, Lord Shaxx, and forgive me for losing my nerves. [b]Shaxx[/b]: It´s alright. Don´t worry, no one will hear about this. Now, get out there and wind up. [i]The Titan leaves with his new helmet. Shaxx watches him leave… and then takes out a communicator.[/i] [b]Shaxx[/b]: Rahool, can you hear me? [b]Rahool[/b]: Hey there Shaxxy boy, how goes the Crucible? [b]Shaxx[/b]: Dude… did you just take a Legendary Engram from a Titan wearing an orange and blue set of armor? [b]Rahool[/b]: Yes, why? [b]Shaxx[/b]: [i]HE KNOWS.[/i] [b]Rahool[/b]: … well, we know what must be done. No loose ends. [b]Shaxx[/b]: A million deaths are not enough for Master Rahool, right? [b]Rahool[/b]: Shut up, you know I hate having to do this. [b]Shaxx[/b]: Yeah, sure…. Whatever helps you sleep at night. So, what do we do? [b]Rahool[/b]: Initiate…. [i]PROTOCOL BABOON[/i]. [i]While in orbit, the Titan´s ship exploded and went down for no apparent reason.[/i] [spoiler]"Baboon" is one of Bungie´s error code for a disconnect.[/spoiler] Edit: [b]WOW![/b] Almost 200 votes and trending! Thanks for the feedback, and I´m happy to get some lols out of you! Edit: Jesus Rollerblading Christ, [b]300[/b]?? MAY AHREN-JEESUS BLESS YOU WITH JUICY LOOT!