Well, to be fair I WATCHED somebody play video games.
I was sitting there, minding my own business when a PC gamer came up to me and called me by my last name. I was befuddled. I had never seen this person before, yet the spoke of me as if they had my previous recor-high score on file.
They gestured for me to follow them back into their man-cave, which contained a couple chairs, and Lazy boy knock off, and a monitor.
The gamer turned the screen on. Being a female gamer, I knew she was probably best of the best if she gamed here. She turned the screen towards me to watch her slay noobs online with her bafflingly mouse. I asked her where her mousepad was.
She smiled, and suddenly lept to her feet and screamed "You jelly bro?!" While squeezing mousepad jelly all over my chest, which I didn't think was a thing. She turned on the soundtrack. Michael Buble.
Nice.
To top things off, I got to use the Lazy Boy knockoff.
While I watched her watch my heart pound to her slaying of noobs, I noticed something.
[spoiler]The FPS[/spoiler]
I cringed. I watched in horror, mouth agape, as I realized that at best her game was running at 40 FPS, while whenever activity appeared on screen it dropped to a measly 12 Frames Per Second. As a gamer, I find this absolutely unacceptable.
But nonetheless, when she completed the match she made me wipe off the mousepad (still weird) and saw me to the door.
All in all, 3/10. Don't go to the hospital if you're looking for real, 60 FPS noscope gamers.
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What happened after the first word