In match 1, you spawned in right after the opposing team picked up heavy. That's the breaks. We've all been there. But your strategy after getting smoked the 1st or 2nd time on re-spawn was bad. You should have been aware of the situation and stopped feeding them kills. Since you were unable to shoot/fight your way out, you had opportunity to combo kill but missed, you should have used your out and fled to another part of the map & chipped away at the enemy instead of going 1v3. You made bad tactical choices. Were you wrong for leaving? Pretty much, I'd expect that from most folks in your shoes......I didn't look but if I had to bet I'd put up dollars vs. doughnuts that your in the .95 - 1.1 k/d range. in match 2 you missed shots, didn't use the strong side of cover, your approaches were bad frequently leaving yourself open to fire, didn't make good use of vertical space, and generally made poor tactical choices. I'm not being cruel. What you need to do is look at your game play and see what you can do to improve instead of blaming the game. I can tell you're newer at this and/or simply have not taken a hard look at what can be done on your end to improve your play. All of us get the late spawns......and a lot of the time they are diamonds in the rough where you can make a positive impact. If you try to improve, you'll eventually see what I'm talking about and look forward to the opportunity joining in progress can provide. One thing you need to keep in mind - when you spawn in progress you instantly have fresh approach in the match and can often take the opposition off guard. However, it didn't look to me like you have a lot of lone wolf in you just yet. Keep practicing.