[b]Howdy! I didn't like the last chapter 17, so I got rid of it. It was rushed and it wasn't good in my eyes. I beat myself up all day about it until today I just decided to get rid of it and start again. I'm happy I did, and I hope you are too.[/b] Date: I’m not sure anymore, I miss home... Time: Nonexisting? Inconstant? Maybe just frozen. Location: Endless darkness Journal Entry #340 I remember when I was first resurrected. All the shooting. All of the fighting… all of the [i]death[/i]. In the middle of chaos… that’s where I was reborn. I understand something now though- something the light never could teach me, I understand now so clearly. Is something defined as chaos because it truly is such? No. No I don’t think it is. Chaos is defined by each different person- each different living organism in different ways. Start digging a hole in a flower bed and the flowers think it’s chaos, we just see it as digging a hole though. Don’t we? But from that hole we dug we can plant something new, perhaps even more flowers than what was there before. But do the flowers know? No... no they don't. They still view it as chaos- even if the outcome will be better than what was there before. Strange. Yet oddly understandable, isn't it? Cut down a tree for wood and the trees think what’s happening is chaotic, but to us we’re just getting wood. And from that wood comes creation- comes homes, tools, appliances… but to the trees it’s all still chaos- it's still destruction of their brethren. From their downfall comes our comfort… our salvation, in ways. We, as guardians of the light, see the darkness as chaos; but does that make it so? Perhaps the darkness Is the planter digging a hole within the flower bed or the lumberjack cutting down the trees to create homes. What if we're only preventing something beautiful? What if... what if we're the trees and the flowers? I was reborn in what I thought was chaos, but now that I look back... I see it was nothing of the sort. What I saw- no, what [i]I defined [/i]as chaos was the image of death. Death all around me… but it wasn’t chaos. No. How could something so beautiful ever be viewed as chaos? Death is far from chaos. I see this sadly only now as I lay back my head and close my eyes, allowing the darkness surrounding me to replace the burning hole in my soul where my light once was. I see now the truth within the lies the light has shown me for so many lifetimes. Death isn’t chaos… it’s freedom.