In the midst of elitist requirement and scrub mentalities, it's easy to pass by some posts that make you burst into laughter or leave your head being scratched. I'll start with mine:
Back in the VoG days I saw a player post: "Need help for VoG. I'm a really good player, I have a maxed out Last Word".
[spoiler]CAREFUL ATHEON!! THIS MAN CAN FAN-FIRE!!![/spoiler]
Edit: Keep em' coming guardians! Some of these are too good to be true.
Update: I saw a new one while looking for a group for the Weekly VoG: "[i]No Drake fans.[/i]"
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Saw this today posted in the PS4 Recruitment section for 390 EoC "Must be close or at 400 light. (No one under 397)" Seriously? That seems an odd number.
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VoG days were funny. "Level 10 only with your worst weapon." Lel
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All these trials posts claiming they have ridiculous K/D and ELO but when you check, half of them have never stepped into trials. Which, 99% of the timr, means the username was put in by a troll to have that person spammed. LFG trolls never know when to quit.
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When people with .07 KDs and less than 1100 ELO make a trials post and have requirements that are better than theirs. Also that they'll be "Checking Stats"
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Edited by Paradimensional: 3/27/2017 10:29:49 PM"Need a thicc Latina gamer girl to do a flawless bungie run with me ❤😂☺️😳🔥💯💯😍😍😋😘" And I'm not even jokinvxzw
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Three LFG posts I remember: "Need 5 for Vault of Glass, must be 335+ with Touch of Malice" "I need some latina mamis to carry me to the lighthouse plz, ill bake cookies" "I have 1 need 5 for golroth NO MICS ALLOWED"
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I'm gonna start requiring Xylar kills
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Something along the lines of "looking for serious gaymers, will send dick pics"
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[quote]No weirdos or communists.[/quote]
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$60.00 Trials carries. Who would pay the game's retail price for ONE trip to the Lighthouse??? I've never been there, but I'm not paying 60 bucks for that tiny piece of content.
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Edited by Hopscotchington: 3/25/2017 1:00:58 AMY1 post Dark below, pre HOW. Can't remember which raid but "must have Jade Rabbit emblem. No kiosks back then, member?
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Anything for ToO. Anything.
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I've seen a few that make me laugh. For some reason one of them I remember was something along the lines of "looking for a team for xxxx, I have cheeseburgers!" Got my attention lol. The rest of you trying to say high requirements are funny. That's what I do now. The quality of random lfg raider has went down significantly. So my new filter is 395+, message with class and light level, no kids. For Aksis if i'm having a frustrating day I'll say 400's only. If you can't read the instructions and just msg inv, you don't get in. You get in and don't meet the requirements because they're your alt or whatever your excuse is, bye. I'm done wasting my time. Hate if you want. But those filters really help with finding a decent group of randoms.
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So it was year 2 at the time someone posted up on lfg must have Y3 icebreaker I messaged him if I could join he said no. After icebreaker Y3 came back I messaged him and he saw the old messages and laughed his ass off
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"Need 1 390+ for normal wotm must be a girl so the one we have won't feel lonely"
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[quote]Looking for chill but serious players to help a warlock main take his titan through the raid. Warning: I have a tendancy to panic and pop bubbles in unconvenient places. Warning 2: I might use striker some parts of the raid. My FoH skills are roughly at the level of my hunter self-rez.[/quote]
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I saw someone post: [quote]I was jacking off to gay porn and somehow found my way here, and now I'm pissed.[/quote]
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My brother was on lfg for WOTM and one of the requirements was that they have aksis challenge emblem. My brother joins and they ask him to put in emblem. He says he doesn't have it in his character but he said he has the ship (yeah he flew in with it) they said they didn't care and that they were only accepting the emblem -_- 😂 he left after A while ago I was also on lfg for WOTM and I saw a post that only said "must have chatter white" lol
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Just as a joke.
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Anything with "will be checking" in the post is always a beautiful display of ass-hattery.
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Another time we were looking for one more to do oryx and someone found a lfg post in "social" "HI I'm 14 looking for a girl gamer to just talk and hang out" If you think we just moved along and left him alone, you are dead wrong.
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In year 2, I brought a friend who had been off for a while into kings fall for his first time. It wasn't until warpreist when we asked him to switch to defender and I checked his loadout: Bullet-hose Auto Sidearm Legendary Sword His only other weapon type was a blue fusion rifles. We carried him through the Black Spindle Mission later that night.
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Saw a post literally 2days afyer kings fall dropped... Must b 300 must have max spindle and touch and have completed before. Come on guy....
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There's some weed requirements on the Xbo Live LFG system. You regularly see , as a requirement, "#MustSexuallyIdentifyAsAnAttackHelicopter".