This is the 8th chapter of the series I began with "Gray Goo". If you want to start at the beginning, click here: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/218285634?sort=0&page=0 TY: "You know, every time that happens, I see a big bright light, and feel really peaceful, and I see my mom coming and reaching out to me. Then you revive me and it all disappears. I never find out what my mom wants." KIARA (returning to them): "Well, we could just let you stay dead. Then you'll find out." TY: "Thanks but no thanks." (looks around) "You think there's any more Vex out there?" Several dozen Vex teleport in, surrounding the group. Withering weapons fire pours in on them from all directions. Mags pops his Ward of Dawn. The multiple energy blasts disperse harmlessly against the indestructible shield. MAGS: "Yeah, I'd say more Vex are right around the corner." Enough talk. Working as one, the three Guardians weave and bob in and out of the luminescent bubble, engaging the incoming Vex with everything they've got. Mags hacks away with his sword. Kiara blasts with her shotgun. Ty fires bursts with his fusion rifle. Vex fall, individually and in groups. But for each one they kill, three more seem to teleport in. It's like trying to put out a forest fire with water guns. The bubble provides them 45 seconds of protection, plus a nice blessing of light. Then, it winks out. Goblins and hobgoblins swarm in on them, guns blazing. Kiara dies. Mags revives her. Mags dies. Ty revives him. He then charges where the Vex are thickest and looses a major Fist of Havoc. A dozen die. One of the survivors fires at Kiara and she dies again. Mags revives her. KIARA: "I'm almost out of ammo." MAGS: "All I've got is primary." KIARA: "We're finished, aren't w... what the hell is that little schmuck doing?!" Ty has, amazingly, slung his weapons and is proceeding to do the Macarena. He ignores the Vex bolts periodically slamming into him, dancing as quickly as he can. KIARA: "He's lost it. Stupid kinderguardian's totally lost it." MAGS: "Ty, you idiot, stop dancing and fight!" (Ty ignores him) "Forget it! He's snapped. We'll just have to fight without hi..." Ty suddenly stops dancing. He turns and charges at the regrouping Vex and drops another Fist of Havoc on them. Ten more of them disintegrate in a storm of arclight. MAGS: "What the hell?!" KIARA: "That was nowhere near five minutes. How did he do that?!" TY (resumes dancing): "You have to dance!" MAGS: "WHAT?!! What do you mean, dance?" TY (breathless from dancing furiously): "You have... to do the... Macarena." MAGS: "What good does that do?!" Ty unleashes another Fist of Havoc, dispatching several more Vex back to whatever hell spawned them. TY: "It does that! It's how I beat the Praetorians! Now dance already!" Fortunately, while Mags generally chooses not to do the Macarena, he knows the dance. Still thinking his protegee is full of it, he nonetheless gives it a try. He barely has time for one iteration of the dance before his own Super reaches capacity. He throws a bubble over the three of them. MAGS: "Kiara! It's working! Do what he says! Macarena! Right now!" KIARA: "I'M NOT DOING ANY F***ING MACARENA!!" She pokes her head out of the bubble and shoots, then tosses a grenade. It does damage. Not nearly as much as Ty's fourth rock-shattering Super, though. MAGS (still dancing): "Do the Macarena! That's an order, Guardian Pel!" KIARA: "All right! I admit it! I don't know how to do the stupid Macarena!" TY: "Just do what I do!" (faces her and does the dance) "Down! Down! Up! Up! Criss! Cross! Head! Head! Belly! Belly! Hip! Hip! And... quarter turn!" Still enraged at what she's having to do, Kiara follows his lead. And moments later, she gets an outlet for her rage as her own Super tops off. She explodes out of the bubble and mercilessly hacks down eight more Vex with Arcblade. Ty obliterates another seven with another Fist of Havoc. The bubble runs out of juice and winks out of existence, but Mags was still dancing and instantly produces a new one. This continues for several minutes, with the two arc-users unleashing epic destruction while Mags keeps them safe under his endlessly regenerating bubble. At length, most of the Vex are destroyed. The few survivors, realizing that the battle is hopeless, teleport away. A long silence as the echo of the stupendous fight fades. KIARA: "We did it." MAGS: "We sure did. Ty, how did you know? About the dance, I mean." TY: "It was in the Macarena lore. It was really technical, so I didn't get it, but Ghost explained it to me." (deploys said Ghost) TY'S GHOST: "It's really pretty simple. When the Hive create Darkness Zones, they can actually absorb Guardian light. The Vex aren't true minions of the Darkness; they're just under its control, so they can't do that. Instead, they just channel the light into unused cracks in time and space, creating Boundless Light Zones. The Macarena is an arcane ritual that creates a transdimentional tap, allowing a Guardian to access those zones and siphon the extra light out for his or her own use." KIARA: "So that explains why we still do the Macarena after all these years." MAGS: "Yes. It served an actual purpose. We just forgot what that purpose was." TY: "Maybe Zavala's thing for crocheting serves some purpose too." MAGS: "I think it just helps him relax. But it sure makes nice armchair doilies." TY: "Oh... almost forgot." He darts over to the closed chest in the middle of the room and opens it, pulling out a shiny hand-cannon. It's obviously a legendary-level weapon. he examines the inscription on the weapon, though it's not easy in the dim light. TY: "Cool. I found a Fart Bringer!" MAGS: "You mean a Fatebringer?" TY (reads the writing more closely): "Yeah, that's it. My first legendary-class weapon. Pretty cool, huh?" While he's not looking, Kiara turns to Mags and makes a subtle "zip your lip" gesture, the kind of gesture that says: "You say one word and I'll make a scrap metal abstract art composition of you." He shrugs in response. KIARA: "Well... actually, Ty, I have some bad news for you, about that gun." TY: "Really? What? It looks awesome!" KIARA: "Well... Fatebringer is... well, the gun is cursed." TY: "Cursed? How?" KIARA: "Well, the Guardian who created it killed the mighty Hive prince Arglot. His lover, Donaphan, swore revenge and lay a terrible curse on him. After his death, the curse settled on the gun he used to slay Arglot. Every Guardian who found that gun and tried to use it has had terrible things happen to them." TY: "Really? Like what?" KIARA: "Well... first, he had terrible body odor. He stunk like a pig farm on a really hot day. All the other Guardians avoided him because he smelled so bad." TY: "Eww, gross." KIARA: "But if his body odor was bad, his breath was worse. If he breathed on flowers, they wilted. If he breathed on another Guardian, they threw up. He tried everything: breath sprays, mints, mouthwash, but nothing worked. He finally died because his Ghost couldn't stand being around him anymore and refused to revive him." TY: "Wow, that's... pretty awful." KIARA: "And worst of all, every time he put on his armor, he got this horrible burning itch, right in the crack of his butt. And try as he might, he couldn't scratch it because the butt plate of his armor was in the way. Day in, day out. Patrols, strikes, missions, whatever he was doing, his butt hole was just itching, itching, itching. And there was nothing he could do about it." TY (staring at the Fatebringer): "Whoa. What can I do about it?" KIARA: "Well, the first thing you do is get rid of that gun. Just put it back in the chest and just get out of here. Maybe, if you're lucky, the curse won't settle on you." TY: "Wow... I think I... maybe I should..." He turns back toward the chest he found the Fatebringer in. You can't see Kiara's face through her helmet, but you know she has a smirk on her face the size of Montana. TY (finishes): "...tell you about the lore I read about Fatebringer in Ikora's library. Because its stat rolls are amazing, its bullets do arc damage, and it's one of the most sought-after weapons in the history of the Vanguard. And I think you were gonna wait 'til I was gone, sneak back in, and get my Fatebringer for yourself." He emphatically stuffs the gun in his waistband, turns, and leads the way toward the exit. Kiara watches him go, crestfallen. Mags approaches her. KIARA (to Mags): "Don't... say... a word." MAGS: "I don't have to." He turns and follows Ty. Kiara watches them go, then scratches furiously (and uselessly) at the butt plate of her own armor. KIARA: "AAARRRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!" EDIT: Chapter 9 up! https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/222368913?sort=0&page=0