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Edited by Oddish43: 12/24/2016 8:58:39 PM
3

Ch. 5 - A Vitriolic Vanguard

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story continues the series begin in "Gray Goo". Here's a link to that story, if you want to start at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start): https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/218285634?sort=0&page=0 [b]1140 hours, April 20, 2718 AD, the Tower, the Last City[/b] Alert sirens are blaring. Mounted cannons are locked on the target, but holding their fire at Zavala's (somewhat reluctant) orders. Guardians stand all over the Tower, heavy machine guns and rocket launchers ready for immediate use. The subject of their alert is the Cabal dropship that is approaching the Tower, escorted by two armed Guardian vessels. The dropship stops, hovers. Three Guardians in nightgown-sized T-shirts materialize amongst their fellows. KIARA (sighs): "They could have let us change before dropping us off." MAGS: "They're probably going to keep our armor and weapons as trophies." Their armor and weapons materialize above their head and come raining down in a jumble around them. Kiara's Camelot helm lands backward on Mags's head with a metallic clank. Mags's Dark-Drinker lands right in front of Ty's feet, coming within a few centimeters of slicing off some toes. Then, several tons worth of cargo on a pallet materialize next to them. That done, the dropship turns and heads out of the atmosphere. Seeing that its guns are offline as promised, the Guardian ships let it depart unharmed, and the Guardians on the roof lower their weapons. TY (waves): "Thanks for the ride." (he consults a scrap of paper in his hand) "OK... right outside Wall Section #309, northern edge of the Last City. I think I know where that is." He gathers up his armor and weapons, then scurries off carrying it in his arms. By the time Mags pulls Kiara's helmet off his head and returns it to her, he's three-quarters of the way to the elevators. MAGS: "Where are you going, noob? We still have to explaion all this to Zava..." Too late. Ty has already vanished into an open elevator, and the doors have closed behind him. KIARA: "And... he's gone." MAGS: "Yup. Just like kids always quickly do when there's an unpleasant job to be done." KIARA: "True. So what do we do now?" ZAVALA'S VOICE (over the intercom): "Will the Guardians in the cute nightshirts please report to the Vanguard chamber for debriefing?" KIARA: "Well, that answers my question." Fifteen minutes later. Vanguard headquarters. All three Vanguards are there. Cayde is guzzling a tube of Pepsi. Ikora is eating a slice of something brown and creamy-looking. Zavala is not eating or drinking anything, and he looks extremely upset. ZAVALA: "Mars. You gave the Cabal... Mars." MAGS: "I don't know what the big deal is, sir. It's just a giant ball of red dirt." ZAVALA: "It's a PLANET, you idiot! You just traded the Cabal a planet for a bunch of... what is that stuff you're eating, Ikora?" IKORA: "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!" You wouldn't think a blue man could turn red. Zavala proves that it can indeed happen. Veins pop out in his forehead. ZAVALA: [i]"IKORA!!!!!!!" [/i] IKORA: "It's called chocolate cream pie." ZAVALA: "We're in the middle of a crisis of unprecedented proportions, and you're stuffing your face with chocolate cream pie." IKORA: "The chocolate cream is pure power, and the whipped cream topping is pure understanding. Therefore, the chocolate cream pie is both the question and the answer. And thus what it means to be a warlo..." Before she can finish, Zavala picks up the half-eaten pie and splats it in her face. ZAVALA: "I really hate it when she gets like that." KIARA: "I don't know what the big deal is, sir. We still have to work on retaking the rest of this planet from the Fallen, then kicking the Hive off the moon. It'll be many years before we're ready to worry about resettling Mars." ZAVAL: "Well now we [i]can't[/i] resettle Mars, because you idiots just ceded it to the Cabal Imperium. And for what? Pastries and... deep-fried bird parts!" MAGS: "It wasn't just that, sir. They gave us engram recipe files for KFC, Domino's pizza, Red Robin burgers, and quite a few other things. Not to mention access to their genetic material stockpiles for all of the plants and animals used to produce them. Once we get the farms operational again, we'll be able to produce more of everything they gave us." ZAVALA: "Well need I remind you, all of our farms are overrun by Fallen!" KIARA: "Probably not for much longer, sir." (deploys her Ghost) "Transmit visual telemetry from Guardian Frost." The farmland, formerly firmly in Fallen hands, is now a scene of absolute carnage. Fallen corpses, smashed Pikes, pulverized Walkers, and burning ketches litter the ground, and more Fallen are fleeing madly in the wake of the massive Goliath that's lumbering along with an obviously ecstatic Ty at the controls, blasting the crap out of everything in sight. ZAVALA: "They gave you a [i]tank?" [/i] KIARA: "Well, technically they gave it to him. He kept breaking into the negotiations to ask if they'd let him drive a tank. Finally, the commander said he'd give him a tank of his own if he'd just stop asking already." MAGS: "Cabal protocol is to just smack the crap out of any hatchling who gets too big for his britches. For that reason, their species haven't built up the tolerance to pre-teen whininess that ours has. They were ready to do anything to shut him up." ZAVALA: "This is deeply weird, I hope you know that." MAGS (produces a paper bag): "Have a Krispy Kreme, sir. You'll feel better." Zavala sighs gustily, then takes a doughnut from the bag and stuffs it into his mouth. Link to Ch. 6 - Pancake Party: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/219732995?sort=0&page=0

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