After we were debriefed on our mission for tomorrow, I stormed through the Hall of Guardians. "Alan. Alan, we got to talk!" I stopped just below the stairs. "Yes?" I tried to say politely. "Well, let's go somewhere private..." Dad said as he and Mom led me to their apartment. "Well, ok..." Dad opened the door and let Mom and I in. I sat down and waited patiently for whatever Dad had to say. "ALAAAAN!!!" Like Thor heeding the Gjallarhorn of Ragnarok, I turned in horror to see the blur running at me! "Don't! Don't! Do-- Ahhh!" The blur leaped in the air and landed on me, knee right to the groin! I was in tears, but I hugged Conner anyways. My arms were the only limbs where the nerves were not shot. "How've ya been?!" He asked as he rolled off of me. I tipped over, sprawled across the couch in tears. Dad cringed, mostly to keep from snickering. "I've been... better!" "What have you been doing?!" "Oh... the usual... Losing faith... for... a future family!" Dad burst out in laughter. "Oh, sorry... Alan..." "Conner, we need to talk to you later... First, we got to have a talk with Alan," Mom said in a comforting voice. Conner jumped from the couch and ran off into his room. "So, you brought him up from the City?" I asked as I began to feel my legs again. "Yeah. We haven't seen him in a while..." Mom said. "I'm aware." Dad leaned forward in his seat and interlocked his fingers. "Yes, we've been away for a while. I'm sorry we couldn't be here when the Fallen attacked, but Zavala sent us on a mission. We were on Mars for most of our time, trying to establish a beachhead... If we came to help, we would have lost so much land for the Vanguard." "I understand... Anyways, several other Guardians fought them off," I said softly as the reoccurring memories flashed in my head. "When did you become a Guardian?" Mom asked. "The day of the attack. A captain broke into the house and killed me, but just before I died, a hunter killed the captain and took me to the Tower," I replied. Mom and Dad straightened their backs. "A hunter? That answers that question," Dad stated. "Do you think you have any of us?" Mom asked. "I don't know. What should I expect?" I asked in return. "Strong, ready for a fight--" "Like to learn, know your enemy..." Mom interupted. I thought for a moment. "I don't turn down from fights... and, yeah. I like to do my research," I gave a bit of a smile. "A hunter with the spirit of a titan and the mind of a warlock!" Dad cheered. I grabbed some drinks and set them on the table. "So, what subclass are you?" Mom asked as she picked up the glass. Everything went to h***. My eyes grew big and I jumped a little. "You were very hyper growing up... Bladedancer aren't ya?" Dad asked. "Or maybe through training, you learned how to be calm and collected... like a Nightstalker!" Mom continued. "Uhhh.... Umm, yeah. No. No, I'm a Gunslinger..." I said as I took a sip. I could see Mom and Dad tense up. "Oh, honey... I'm sorr-- What happened?" Mom reached over and patted my hands. "It's nothing... I just like the revolver..." Mom gave me a cock-eyed look. "Alan, we have been Guardians way longer than you. I know what it means to wield Solar Light... What happened?" Here was my chance to clear my conscious. To release all that built up inside of me, "It's nothing to be concerned about..." I stared off into space. "Alan could you please talk to us? I want to--" "Mama... Please!" Memories clouded my thoughts. The stuff I have seen. "This is a sensitive topic for him," Colt said trying to butt in. I looked down at my glass of water. Light mists of steam rose from the drink. My muscles began to burn. "I, I got to go!" I put down my glass and bolted out of the door. "Sir, may I borrow some of your time?" I asked. The Speaker looked up from his charts. "Of course, Alan. How can I be of assistance?" "What do you know of long term effects of Solar Light?" I asked quietly. He cocked his head slightly. "As in too many Hammers in Clash?" He chuckled a little to himself. I tried to force in a smile. "Not exactly... I've witnessed Defenders nearly freeze while trying to protect me because of Void. What about Solar? Like me, like a Gunslinger." The Speaker fell quiet for a moment. He turned back to his charts, hands behind his back. "I assume you refer to your comrades Blake Thrower and Josiah Robinsun correct? Though they are not the first to... test their limits." "Yes, Sir, and everything afterwards. In fact, ever since the Dreadnought, I felt like I have enough Solar Light in me to be supered three times over... It burns," I said, gripping my heart, "Sir." The Speaker nods. "Normally I would say exhaust your Light on simple things like Fallen until you feel tired or start to feel pain. But you are neither a Striker or one to horde their Light to the point of bursting..." He drummed his fingers against his wrist gently and sighed. "I have a feeling it has something to do with your emotional state." "I'm not big on talkin' about my issues, no--" I admitted, "and when I do, it has meant something is up... I've tried to control it, keep it under wraps, but sometimes I'll notice smoke rising from my shoulders... Something I only saw from my old captain..." "Yes, Dakota... The both of you share something in common." He turned to face me. "You both are prime kindling wood." "Yeah..." I thought for a moment. "Yeah, and it all started with Him! That d***ed vapor I should've killed when I had my chance!! Now, he has killed so many of my friends!" Fire shown in my eyes, just at the mention of him. "I should've done better, but nope! I wasn't capable of it! I, let this all happen! I could've killed that warlock, but I didn't!!" I started to drift in my rage. The Speaker slowly sighed. "It never starts with the spark, Alan. It always starts..." He clasped my shoulder, bringing me back to reality. "With the fuel. And this is why you are dying Alan. Your letting yourself burn like a torch." I heard what he said, but I didn't let it sink. I stepped away, then back in a circle. "I heard he is in Africa, Taking more for his King! And I think I know how to kill him; with his own d***ed trick! I could, I could go out there and finish him! Kill him for what he's done and stop it from happening again!" I continued to think on behalf of my anger. The Speaker simply stood there, waiting patiently for me to listen. An air of sadness shrouded him. "And I could, I could--" I was shaking all over, "He doesn't deserve mercy! Not anymore! Not again!" I placed my hands on my head. I was burning up, hotter than ever. I ran over to a pool of water-- my face was boiling red. I looked back to the Speaker. I could hear tears, that were beginning to roll down my face, sizzling, turning to steam. The Speaker walked by me, blocking my way past him. "Alan..." The Speaker waited patiently. "Calm down Alan... then I will give you my advice. Not a moment before." "I, I don't know what to do!" I collapsed to the floor, crying audibly. "I've lost so many. And, it's my fault... but I can't help them, they're gone now..." I dug my head between my arms. The Speaker waited a few moments before walking over. He placed a gentle hand on my head and waited. I cringed a little, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry." I willed on my iconic red and black helmet, and my Devil's cloak, a reminder of who I was. "Four months ago, I joined this fight as a guardian, and now, I have fallen so far..." "No Guardian falls far. If you have, there would be no Light left, such as Dredgon Yor." He looked down at me. "You come to me seeking guidance, yet you claim you can't be redeemed. Which is it?" I raised my head up. I blinked repeatedly, letting [i]that[/i] sink in. I looked up to see that the Speaker still had not abandoned the wreck I was. "The reason for your pain is raw emotion. Unlike Arc energy, Solar doesn't just sustain itself. It needs fuel and your anger is perfect kindling." He took my arm and got me to stand. "This can be a powerful tool in times of need but also a reason for the death of several Sunsingers who thought they had enough." I tried to calm down, but I was still choked up. "All I need is just three shots. Three. Three and all my troubles will be over..." I summoned a golden gun in my hand and inspected the fiery beauty. "It will take more than three. Once you have 'defeated' this adversary, what then? Revenge changes nothing Alan... I should know." He let go of me and walked up the steps. "But I can see I can't change your mind, just note I am here when you want to listen." I watched him as I thought. I dispelled the fiery revolver. "I uh..." I looked away, perfecting my plan. "Thanks, Sir." He nodded and returned to his charts.