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#xur

Edited by Spawn: 1/28/2016 1:46:17 AM
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Bernie Sanders' Economic Policy explained in Destiny Terms

Bernie Sanders' campaign is built on what he and many others call wealth inequality, his entire economic policy is built on addressing this "issue". In an effort to promote understanding of his widely popular policies I will now explain them and how they work within the scope of Destiny. Let's begin.. Commander Zavala's term is finished and elections are in process to select a new commander of the Vanguard. The Speaker tried running but was deemed "out of touch and too old" for this young generation of guardians. In a close election between Bernie Sanders and Cayde-6, Cayde-6's past habits of boozing and womanizing come out after a string of sexual harassment accusations from Petra Venj and Amanda Holliday. Bernie Sanders ends up pulling ahead and winning after this information becomes public. Sweeperbot mounts an unsuccessful 3rd party campaign. Bernie Sanders is sworn in as Commander of the Vanguard and vows to tackle the problem of wealth inequality among Guardians. Wealth in Destiny consists of a combination of exotics, god-roll legendaries, strange coins, and light level (among other things). Let's face it some guardians are much wealthier than others! Bernie vows to fight this wealth inequality "these 1-percenters have way too much wealth, why does a guardian need a last word, a black spindle, and a chaperone? They can't even equip all of them at once!" Bernie goes on to say "I've seen these 1-percenters, some of them have two Twilight Garrisons, Thorns, Party Crashers with rangefinder and rifled barrel, and HUNDREDS of strange coins. How can an up and coming guardian ever attain that sort of wealth when they're only getting 30 or so strange coins a week? These 1-percenters have all the exotics they could ever need and yet they still horde hundreds of strange coins and three of coins, it's not fair!" To make things "fair" Bernie hikes taxes on guardians that have an "excessive" amount of exotics and strange coins, if you have over 15 exotics you are hit with a 45% tax. You must pay the new Vanguard gov't 45% of your exotics or strange coins. If you have 20 exotics you pay a 60% tax on your exotics and strange coins, and if you have 35+ exotics you pay a 75% tax. It's only "fair". The new gov't then begins to subsidize Xur. As a result, Xur now provides two exotics and 10 three of coins a week to underprivileged guardians for "free". Regular guardians notice a spike in prices for exotics from Xur, armor prices rise to 18 strange coins a piece, weapon engrams rise to 25 strange coins, three of coins are now 10, and legacy engrams (a luxury item) come up to 50 strange coins a piece. Guardians who worked hard for their exotics and strange coins are ridiculed for being "wealthy", they were simply "lucky" they had RNG on their side. Never mind the fact that they spent hours raiding and grinding in Iron Banner, their high light level and collections of exotics/strange coins aren't the result of their hard work, they only have all that because of "luck" and it's "unfair". Bernie's economic policy and crippling taxes destroy all the incentive to raid and grind Iron Banner. "Why would I spend all that time and energy raiding when Bernie is just gonna tax and take most of my hard earned loot?" guardians ask. "Hell I could just sit back, pound some beers, and shoot dregs on patrol while collecting those "free" exotics and three of coins from Xur every week" other guardians say. As a result, wealthy guardians leave the tower, swear their allegiance to the Queen, and move to Reef (taking their exotics, strange coins, and possessions with them). Suddenly, no one is left to pay for the expensive subsidies and programs that supply underprivileged guardians with "free" exotics and three of coins. Without the "wealthy" to tax and pay for the gov't programs, these social programs go insolvent and suddenly Xur stops providing goods to underprivileged guardians. Meanwhile since their is still so much debt the higher prices on Xur's goods remain, sparking a revolt. Both the underprivileged and middle class guardians are unable to afford these high priced exotics and three of coins. The remaining guardians have become dependent on government and expect to be provided with something, however, Bernie's new Vanguard gov't is reeling in debt from providing all these "free" goods and services. The people begin to uprise (just like in every other example of socialism) and a coup is organized to oust Bernie from the Vanguard. One morning Bernie is walking outside with his bodyguard and is attacked by Cayde-6, Bernie and his bodyguard both fire their shotguns but Cayde-6 is 10 feet away and just outside of range. Cayde then quickly dispatches both of them from 10 feet away with his 1000YS sniper. Cayde-6 then embarks on a campaign to make the Vanguard great again. Meanwhile, the Reef has transformed into an economic powerhouse where guardians are eager to work hard, take risks, and keep the rewards of their work. The Reef has low taxes but because there is so much wealth their revenues remain strong, couple this with the fact that the Reef doesn't blow money on redistribution and social programs, and what do you know... They're running a budgetary surplus!! Moral of the story: Capitalism > "Democratic" Socialism Rand Paul 2016 ...and if he doesn't get the nomination any other Republican 2016, they're all more economically literate than Bernie! Edit: Lots of people showing love and lots of people hating. To the haters all I gotta say is supply and demand is LAW. Learn it, live it, love it. Bernie sure doesn't... Edit 2: Over-regulation is a bad thing. In Destiny terms, was Destiny better when it first came out or after all of Bungie's various nerfs and buffs? I think we know the answer... Edit 3: This post sure got crazy, kinda like Bernie Sander's economic policies. For all the haters I have one statement, supply and demand determines value. This is an irrefutable economic truth. Bernie's policies attempt to assign value in opposition to supply and demand. That is why his policies are guaranteed to fail. To everyone that showed some love, YOU ROCK!!

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  • Lol so accurate

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  • Tacky conservative satire is tacky and dumb. Realistically, Bernie would take some well-needed whacks to the excessive use of RNG in this game and make sure everyone gets at least something from each Raid boss and other playlists. In a seemingly ironic move, he'd probably make sure people who are on top of the Crucible scoreboards actually get our fair share, since it hardly seems right that those of us who put in the effort regularly get nothing while the scrubs coasting off our hard work with a negative K/D and probably no assists or objectives, get free exotics. He might even go so far as to demand Bungievision refund us for re-packaging content that was already on the damn disc before launch. Bernie 2016 :D <3

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    10 Replies
    • I LOVE POLITICS ON THE INTERNER! [spoiler]not[/spoiler]

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    • this is... sad. just a sad attempt to spout off your political views... which no one cares about.

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      • Edited by I Don't Take Responsibilit: 1/27/2016 10:19:53 PM
        The Reef, now overflowing with the 1%, the try hards, the elite spend 20 hours a day raiding and obsessing over KD. Soon the sweep bots stop working, and vaults are overflowing. You've been to busy raiding to learn to maintain them. No one has gone on a suply run to restock rations because you would have to share what you worked so hard to get. The government wouldn't supply you with food because there are no social programs. Soon the Reef becomes and uninhabitable ceaspool of toxic biproduct and exotic shards. The 1% look to the Tower... The Tower, free of the dead weight of the 1% have started to work together. They no longer view the less skilled as a burden as the 1% have always told them they were. Ships are repaired, raid mechanics are taught to everyone, and no one asks for 320 light to do VoG. The Tower receives a distress call from the Reef asking for help.... I think we all know the answer to that.

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      • LMAO A guy going for Rand Paul should absolutely not have this much up votes. #feelthebern

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      • True story

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      • So... you are saying Bernie Sanders is the reason Destiny is dying?

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      • Too long to read.

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        • oh shit.this means trump is guna win doesn't it..................now everyones screwed.

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        • I'm not going to vote. They're all a bunch of idiots. Is this seriously the best our country can find for presidents? We are -blam!-ed. And who the -blam!- put it in Donald trumps head to run for prez. He's a -blam!-ing loonie toon also.

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        • Chant whoever you want, but the polls are showing either Clinton or sanders vs trump. Those are facts and those will probably be your choices. The question it comes down to is do we really want to have Donald trump as a president? I really don't.

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        • Holy shit. You just poloticed up destiny and it worked. Down with socialism. Up with the value of strange coins

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        • The reality is the vendors in the Tower are writing all the laws, making all the decisions, and setting up a new corpo-cratic dystopia. Since they formed a super-pac, loaded Bernie up with billions, and propped him up in the Speaker's place, now they got the access to really -blam!- the populace of the City.

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        • You don't know what socialism means. Lol idiot

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        • Bernie 2016 get sum

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          • WHY IS THIS STUPID THREAD STILL ON DESTINY FORUMS?!?!?!? HEY NINJAS NINJAS NINJAS HEY HEY NINJAS YO NINJA BOY NINJAS HEY NINJAS HEY NINJAS HEY NINJAS HEY NINJAS NINJAS HEEEEEEEYYYYY HEY NINJAS NINJAS NINJAS NINJAS YO HEY NINJAS NINJASSSSSSSS NINJA HEY NINJA DO YOUR FREAKING JOBS move this to off topic.

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            • Comparing a video game to a complex economy and running a country? Children..everywhere.

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            • Cats..? Yeah, I think OP's talking about cats...

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            • What the OP is saying is very true. why should the rich have to take care of the poor. In reality they already do. The rich are the people who own/build apartments and living areas that are then rented by the lower income people. without the higher class or wealthier people some of the liberties that the lower class wants, they wouldn't even have. Business owners etc...I agree that wealth inequality is a problem, but the way they are tackling it is all wrong. If I bust my ass and work hard, why the hell should I have to suffer because some lady who doesn't have a job decided to have more kids then she could take care of, now here I am having my checks taxed to pay for someone elses kids. Why should people in jail get free healthcare while we are out here having to pay for it because of obamacare. And the whole rich people finding loopholes through the system--its possible for middle and low class income families to use the same loopholes they are just not smart enough. knowledge is power and without it you're staying in the same class or less then that of your parents. There is no reason that because someone makes X more dollars then someone else, that they should be taxed in such outrageous manners that these people are trying to force us into. Its the poor and middle class that want a free ride without having to earn it. plain and simple supply and demand is exactly what this boils down too. the lower class needs a place to live, a place to work, a place to spend money. The higher class gives them all of these things through what they own, sell or rent. why should they suffer?

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              • Ted Cruz 2016. The sheer idiocy of some people in the forums is mind boggling. As OP has said, people will begin to vacate the US first the wealthy and then the middle class. For Everyone that thinks about moving, consider this 7 km long peice of freedom based off of Old US values. LIBERLAND!!!!!!!

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                • Shut up already. If you've got it good then a slight increase shouldn't hurt. Talk about greed.

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                • http://usuncut.com/politics/robert-reich-six-responses-to-bernie-skeptics/

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                • The reasons of why Bernie is a thing right now is that college students think he's going to make tuition free and that the other candidate is being investigated by the FBI. Sad times on the Dem side

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                  • all libertarians and/or Rand Paul supporters feel free to add me on xbox. gt armlock311

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                    • you forgot the satire tag.

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