[i]So I move to a new city and new school: 8th grade. This really attractive Female had been eyeing me since my second day, my new friends tell me about her. She talks to me during our mutual classes, kinda flirting (I rarely interacted with Humans, let alone attractive females), nervous as a mafk. It goes as well as it could. A few days later she has my friends trick me into sitting with her at lunch, this made me very nervous. She grabbed my hand and started acting very promiscuous, the thing is that, nobody knew that I have autism, I couldn't handle it at all. The autism kicks in and I just freeze, suddenly soaked in sweat, adrenaline through the roof and run, just left everything and ran as fast as I could home. Most awkward moment ever, especially when I had to face them all the next day and come up with bad excuses.[/i]

I have tons of stories from Japan. I was out drinking and a guy about in his 70's randomly sat next to me and grabbed my man boobs at the bar. I didn't want to risk deportation by beating on an old man. I was riding the train yesterday when this girl next to me started falling asleep. She gradually fell further and further closer to me until her head was literally almost in my lap. It looked very inappropriate. Not to mention it was a very crowded train and everyone was trying not to stare at it. I kindly woke her up after mentally kicking myself. I knocked over an old lady who popped out of an alleyway with my bike. She flew in the air while doing. 360 and landed. I threw my bike down and helped her up while telling her I can escort her to the hospital. She looked up and saw my old white foreign face and immediately started stammering. She manages to say that she is ok and proceeded to walk away. I tried to insist that I can help her but she waved me away saying she is ok. A guy saw I Was married while I was at the store by my wedding ring. He asked in Japanese if she was a foreigner or Japanese. I said Japanese. So he then said in English "do you like Japanese sexy time?" He then said in English "I want do America sexy time. Blonde hair blue eyes big melons." I was sitting in my car waiting for my evening English class to begin. I was parked outside a 7/11 store eating my dinner when suddenly the back door opened and in came a kid that looked just like the kid from Pixar's "Up". I was like "ummm" to get his attention but he didn't hear me. He said after buckling himself "Wait... This car smells different" and he then looked around and said "and it looks different." He then looked up and saw this white guy looking at him from the front seat. He then bursted into a screaming crying fit while flinging himself every which way. Luckily, his father he saw him and manages to get him out. I apologized because well...Japan but he insisted it was his fault. I thought I was going to get deported for being a fake kidnapper. Kid was still crying as they were pulling out of the parking lot lol. To be fair, my car and his dad's car was nearly identical and next to each other.

Well...I asked a friend to tell where he found all these good destiny players...he said"The offtopic forums" I forgot who he was

Once this guy tried to blow up the prydwen and I was like.. That's not one of our Knights...?[spoiler]he died[/spoiler][spoiler]painfully[/spoiler][spoiler]ad victoriam [/spoiler]

Today I was in the bathroom, smoking crack, when George bush walked in. Naturally, I sacrificed my 3rd son to our lord and savior. [spoiler]Jinx.[/spoiler]

Today I went to panera with my sister. I was getting a fountain drink when I saw someone get a drink next to me. I naturally assumed it was my sister because she was just right next to me. I said "gold doubloons! Don't drop them!" ( quote from spongebob) I turn And its like a 6 year old kid

1) One time I took my (ex)boyfriend with me for shopping. Stood still at a lingerie shop, thinking he was still with me but apparently the person next to me, wasn't him. So I saw this absolutely adorable set and grabbed the person his hand like: You think that one would look cute? Let's go try it on and see if its somewhat decent on me. So still not noticing the guy wasn't my (ex)boyfriend I dragged him inside and the moment I pick the set and turn around I see this guy smirking from ear to ear and I just.... Well, ran. 2) Me and friend went to go for a swim once. While swimming I realized I still had on my bracelet and didn't want to risk anything so I went to my locker, putting it in there. When I returned I thought I saw my friend so I jumped into the pool and jumped into her back trying to scare her. Let me tell you; it was not my friend. 3) At one of my many hospital visits I was waiting in the waiting room (obviously) and saw a very cute looking like who happened to have a broken leg so my immediate thought: THIS ONE CANT RUN AWAY!! So I went to the vending machine next to him, purposely dropping my wallet to make him talk to me. He picked up my wallet (the best he could) and that's when I noticed he spoke English. (It was during the summer so i assume he was on a holiday here) I really did suck at the language back in that time so he asked if I was okay. Me: Yes, you? Him: *pointing at his leg* it could be worse. What's wrong with you? Me: Yes, you? *face palm* Him: *laughing and he gives me his number*: text me whenever you're free. Me: Oh, I will definitely sext you! *dies inside, never texted the guy out of embarrassment* My life is just one awkward encounter with people after another. I'm not even lying.

At work waiting for my mom to pick me up. I see my mom's car and stopped at the same spot my mom would. I walk over get inside only to look at the driver seat and see some black guy staring at me. I was so confused how I could make that mistake.

>as small child >forced to go shopping with older sister and her friends >gets left behind for 2 hours >sees sister talking with guy >pulls her pants/panties down >turns out wasn't sister >runs

When I was younger I went to the aquarium in Chicago. I went to the bathroom and when I left I thought I saw my mom but it some other lady that looked like her from behind. I walked over and shoved my hand in her popcorn and said "GIVE ME SOME OF THAT". The lady turned around and I just stood there. Luckily my mom found me because that was pretty awkward.

My college roommate went on a trip to Japan one time and decided to go to the bathhouse. He sat across from a man with tattoos on the chest and arms and had a pleasant conversation with him only to find out later from his interpreter that the man was Yakuza