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11/25/2015 6:13:56 PM
6
Yes it's in the gallery, that's how I find your writing. Very good chapter, looking forward to the next
English
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What would you say you like the most? You're my most loyal fan haha
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I love your detail and descriptiveness. It helps place me in the story instead of just reading it. Describing a scene and feelings is something I don't see from many fanfictions writers. They can tackle conversations no problem, but there's always more to a story than just the conversations. Keep up the details and descriptions. It's my favorite part.
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Thank you for that! I just really want to capture the character. What do you think needs improvement?
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Perhaps breaking up the conversations so I can better understand who's saying what. [quote]There’s a good probability I’m several hundred years older than you.” Cayde cocked his head to the side at that comment. “Yeah, but you’re short. And you Awoken folk never look like you age anyways. I’ve never seen an Awoken grandma, have you?” [/quote] So I figure the Awoken says the first part and that Cayde is the second part but because it's fluid together I first though the Awoken said both lines.
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Okay, I'll give it a go. I'm trying to make this a five day a week thing
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Look forward to reading them
