So there's this hobo. He lives in Canada and it's the middle of winter. He's walking alongside the highway when he sees a woman skating on a frozen lake. The ice breaks and she falls in the water. The hobo quickly rushes over to the lake and pulls her out. They go together to the side of the highway, where they try to flag a car. A car stops, and coincidentally the man inside is the woman's father. The man says "thank you so much, mister! I am a very rich man, I can give you anything you want!" The hobo says "just some cash, thanks." The man says "oh dear, I only have $10 with me! Hop in my car, and we'll crack into the safe at my house!" The hobo says "no thanks. $10 is more than I've ever had. I'm fine with it." So the hobo takes the money and decides he want to take a vacation. The hobo goes into town, and checks out all the travel agencies, but none could work under his budget until he reached one called "ultra budget VayK". The travel agent gives the hobo tickets to a super ultra mega economy budget class on a cruise. The hobo thanks the man and goes to the docks. When he gets to the destination, he sees MASSIVE ocean liner. The captain is greeting passengers. When he sees the hobo he yells "GET LOST, YA BUM!" but the hobo says "but sir? I have my ticket!" The captain says oh, ok but come back at midnight when everyone is asleep so you don't bother the passengers. The hobo says ok and comes back, then the captain shows him to his room. They go down through the floors of the ship, each extremely prestigious. Eventually they get to the bottom of the ship and there's a little 4x7 feet room with a moldy cot. The captain says "here's your room, sorry for the condition" and the hobo says "it's ok, my very own room is a great luxury! It even has an alarm clock". The captain says "you see, people in your class can only use the ship's 'facilities' when the others are asleep. That's what the alarm clock is for." The hobo says "that's quite all right sir" and goes to bed. The next day, he has so much fun playing ping pong and shooting clay pigeon, when he gets to the pool. He climbs up the diving board, then does a triple swan dive into the pool. He goes in without even a splash, with perfect technique. The captain happens to be watching and says "hey hobo, where did you learn to dive like that?" The hobo says "I have never dived before in my life." The captain says "you're so good that you could put on a show for the customers!" The hobo agrees and later that day the whole cruise ship is gathered around the pool. The hobo begins to climb the diving board. He passes a solitary albatross. The air begins to get thinner. The earth begins to shrink. By the time he reaches the top, he can touch the moon. The hobo jumps, does a quadruple flip, then goes into the pool without a splash... And smashes through all the floors of the ship, landing in his cabin. When the captain comes to see the hobo, the captain says "how the hell did you survive smashing through the floor?" The hobo says: "Being a hobo, I've been through many hardships in my life."