Our beards allow us to accomplish many things, the picture above depicts a few of our marvelous abilities.
Edit 1: [quote]It's the mustache tax.
"Scientific research, commissioned by the Guinness Brewing Company, found that the average mustachioed Guinness drinker traps a pint and a half of the creamy nectar every year." -gravytrain28[/quote]
Edit 2: Those who bash the beard aren't blessed with a beard.
Edit 3: Beard thread is trending.
Edit 4: It's over 200!
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They also often find traces of fecal matter in beards