I'll go first (duh)
One time, I was sitting on the toilet doing the doo doo and a spider came from the ceiling right in front of me, I wasn't even done and I didn't have anything to kill it with so I grabbed a stepping stool and smashed it into the ground and killed it.
Now it's your turn.
Edit: Baby Spiders hatched Inside my ceiling fan and invaded my room, needless to say I slept on the couch that day.
-
I was watering our lawn one day and I saw a cockroach. So being the stupid person I was I shot around it with water. IT STARTED FLYING AT ME AND I DIDNT KNOW COCKROACHES COULD FLY SO I START SCREAMING AND FLIPPING AND AS IT CHASED ME INTO MY HOUSE..... It probably said: [i]Dumb humans cockroach master race[/i]