So there I was, on my way to the Tower after a long battle against Atheon, Crota, and Skolas. Eager to see what secrets my engrams would reveal. I arrived at the tower, many Guardians awaiting. My friends piled against a wall of guardians, waiting for their turn to access their vaults. At first, it was silent, Guardians gossiping with their fellow comrades, a group of Hunters playing with the purple ball, A Titan talking to the postmaster, and a warlock trying to get down with Tess Everis. I went to the gunsmith, needed syntheses. Went to the bounty bot, needed XP. And finally.... Rahool. All of a sudden, a Guardian screamed "I got the Gjallarhorn!!" All hell broke loose. Guardians stomping each other, making their way towards Rahool. A hunter launched the purple ball into the first group approaching Rahool, hitting one Titan on the head. He panicked and unleashed his havoc, thinking there were Fallen nearby. Corpses of electrified Guardians flying around the Tower. A hunter avenged his friend by pulling a golden gun on the Titan, I ran to cover, because the bullshit was about to get real. A warlock self-rezed and bombarded everyone with grenades. It was chaos... Every guardian fighting to be the one who reaches Rahool first. Golden gun bullets flying amidst the chaos, Titans fisting into oblivion, and Warlocks pushing Guardians off the Tower. The Speaker arrived in an attempt to quell the anger, but a trip mine got in his way, Bloody firewords he witnessed. His body landed in front of me... He grabbed my leg and said "I could've tell you" I saw Xur in the shadows... What was his plans? Suddenly I heard a scream, coming from the Vaults, A guardian managed to sneak past the bloodbath and snatched a Hawkmoon from Rahool. Big mistake. As soon as he said the final letter of his final word, he caught a bullet to the head from a Hunter's Last Word. This Hunter tossed her Last Word, but before she could grab the Hawkmoon, a Titan shoved a magnetic grenade up the Hunter's baby maker... He knew that Hunter was expecting a baby, so he went for a double kill to ensure his victory. The Titan popped a couple of heads with Hawkmoon, until the Warlock self-rezed and put a couple of Axion Bolts up the Titan's ass. All Guardians fought each other, I saw this warlock, up in the air, unleashing his nova bomb into a group of Titans. Poor bastard got disintegrated by a golden gun, the hunter was vaporized by a Titan's smash, and the Titan triped over the purple ball and fell to his death. One of the vaults was destroyed... Many exotic weapons lay on the ground... Oh the horror of greedy Guardians... A Warlock was with her child after not seeing him for 2 years... Poor lady got blasted away by a blade dancer making his way to the loot. A Titan helping an elderly woman up the stairs ate a nova bomb to the face. I was scared... Still hiding. Everyone was unleashing chaos in the Tower. The Speaker in pieces, Eris finally fell from the Tower, The Gunsmith was waiting for the next Guardian... Hell, even the broom-bot was kicking ass with his broom of light. He wielded that broom like a sword and fought Titans like a knight. Never saw so much badassery. He stumbled upon the Hawkmoon that everyone fought for... But he got blown up by the Warlock that got the Gjallarhorn. It wasn't long before a Titan fisted the Warlock and claimed the Gjallarhorn. 1800 hours... I can still hear the commotion outside. The Tower has been evacuated, Guardians screaming in pain... This is a nightmare. I wonder if my friends are still alive. 2 wounded exos found my hiding spot, I let them in. One of them lost an eye, the other is missing the jaw. Oil everywhere. When will this madness end? Day 2... Chaos still going on. I heard someone scream that Lord Saladbar caught a Sunsinger's grenade, ate the bitch, and spewed fire at the Warlocks, scroching them to death... Lord Saladbar became mad, he shouted "The Gjallarhorn is mine!" He went ham on the Titans... I even heard a Titan say "He is even punching the etheric light out of them" Looks like the Iron Banana finally got on his nerves. The wounded exo finally leaked to death... His friend grabbed his jaw piece and repaired himself with it. Chaos is so intense even robots can turn into cannibals. I am an exo too... But I am not wounded, I can fight. But the moment I walk out there, I'll go in a blaze of glory and bullshit. I can see through a little crack on the wall... Green bullets light the shadows of my hiding spot. 0600 hours... I woke up, only to see a big blast, probably from the same Gjallarhorn everyone wanted. They found me... I must fight now. Got some flame shields by punching a hunter, a Titan with matador got me good, but still alive. I blew up a couple of others with my grenades. For a moment, I stood and watched. The Tower in flames. Corpses and ashes everywhere. The Speaker blown to pieces, Grandma Eris's ship crashed into the postmaster's kiosk, the Gunsmith still standing there, repairing guns with pieces of dead Exo Guardians... I knew he was thirsty for blood too. I made my way to the vaults... too much fire. I was caught in the middle of the firefight, every man for himself. My friends lay dead before me, I was angry... I took my guns and fought them all. The bullshit was real. How many times I was tagged by Thorn? I saw Lord Saladbar taking this Hunter's Felwinter's Lie and executing the poor bastard with it. That man has issues. I can see Rahool, peeking out the little doors of his hidden vault, he took the Hawkmoon that everyone tried to get. I see you mother**** A wounded Titan falls at my feet, begging for Mercy... He was wearing my best friend's mark... I took his helm of Saint-14 off, looked him in the eye, and beat the light and soul out of him with the helm. How does it feel to be blinded now b**tch! The shit just hit the fan... Someone spotted Xur picking up strange coins from dead Guardians... Now it is the time to go. Whoever gets their hands on Xur... I must reach him before someone else does. A Titan blinded everyone with his grenade, in the confusion, another Titan panicked and fisted the shit out of people, Xur just stood there and started to pick the coins murmuring "My will is not my own"... I was caught in the blast. I revived myself, only to be blasted away again by the Exo that I provided shelter to... I knew he couldn't be trusted. I was nearly dead, but all of a sudden, the Exo disintegrated into a pulp, Lord Saladbar personally dismantled the Exo with a single heatbutt... He looked at me and said "My big bell needs oil to keep burning... you have that oil" He Punched my legs out of commission, broke my left arm, and popped one of my optics. Luckily, right before he could deal the final blow, his skull blows up like a piñata... My friend saved my life from no Land Beyond!! for he was already dead when I saw him. His flesh burned, Thorn finally burned him to death. So there I was, crawling my way to master Rahool. I reached out to him and handed over my engrams. Finally, I get my rewards... Rahool looked me in the eye... and said "You're very lucky, Guardian!" he gave me a strang coin from my rare engram... but from my Legendary... I got an Ice Breaker. My hopes restored... My will to reinforced. I tried to get up, but Rahool refused to help me... He kick me on the side, got on top of me, and looked at me with a big, perverted smile. He says "You're very Lucky Guardian! But I cannot allow you access to that Ice Breaker" He points the Hawkmoon he took at my only functioning Optic, I could see the bullet at the end of the Barrel. Then I looked at Rahool in the eye, into his very own bastardy soul, and said "Go fawk yourself, burn in the seven hells of space!! He pulled the trigger... Lights out. I am an Exo, I take time to die... I heard footsteps... felt something reaching into my pocket... Then as I fainted I heard a strange voice saying "It is very possible I am here to help you" Xur took my coin... but my light faded away... I am no more.

"Listen man, I know everyone hates you. But remember, they don't understand it's their fault. The engrams are picked up by them, you simply reveal their secrets. Just hang in there buddy, Xurs almost here."

Not Funny To Make Fun of Me Guys. :c

Sup stupid ass bitch, I should hang you from that tree over there and have a bonfire while having a drink and laughing my ass off. I hate his guts

With middle fingers up.

Shirt off, condom off.

This -blam!-ing stupid ass troll

Rahool is and always will be a douchebag. #dayone