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7/16/2015 5:28:52 AM
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What in the name of our Lord did you just say about me, you little heathen?

I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Vacation Bible School, and I’ve been involved in numerous biased acts of moderation, and I have over 300 Christian Rock songs. I am trained in spiritual warfare and I’m the top preacher in the entire anti-homosexual campaign. You are nothing to me but just another atheist. I will baptize you in 1,000 rivers with holiness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my blessed words. You think you can get away with saying those falsehoods to me over the Internet? Think again, heathen. As we speak I am praying to my Lord and Savior in Heaven and your IP is being told to me right now on a piece of toast so you better prepare for the blood, blasphemer. The blood of Jesus that saved me and will wipe away the sins from the pathetic little thing you call your soul. You’re fixing to be saved, son. My God can be anywhere, anytime, and he can kill you in infinite ways, and that's just with natural causes. Not only am I extensively trained in the forum moderation, but I have access to its entire arsenal of tools and post editing power, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable account clean from Sep7agon.net, you little shitposter. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” post was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your low quality spam. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re not paying the price because Jesus payed it for you, you foolish sinner. My God will shower fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re going to Hell, kiddo. [spoiler]all credit goes to Ryle from Sep7agon, thanks buddy![/spoiler]

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  • Fos -blam!- drey hi nunon -blam!-ing saag do zey, hi mal bitch? I’ll lost hi mindok Zu'u graduated piit do dii vorul ko faal Okaalah Strin, ahrk I’ve kosaan vothiz ko numerous soven kuzol nau Al-Quaeda, ahrk Zu'u lost avok 300 daazrii krii. Zu'u los delah ko gorilla baasekein ahrk I’m piit gutinok ko ulaan Mii yen fus. Hi los nid wah zey nuz nunon vorey krazahd. Zu'u fen voluk hi -blam!- tir voth uliidom med do fos lost neh kosaan nun us nau daar Gol, ziik dii -blam!-ing rot. Hi lorot hi vis ofaal hond voth sahgaat tol draaf wah zey avok faal Vozahkel? Lorot einzuk, -blam!-er. Ol mu tinvaak Zu'u vothaalvut dii soven rigevoth do spies yaav faal Mii ahrk hin IP los nahlii pik viilut nu ful hi pruz rodraan fah strun, maggot. strun tol voluk tir sahlag mal truk hi faan hin laas. You’re -blam!-ing dilon, kid. Zu'u vis kos pahkolos, anytime, ahrk Zu'u vis krii hi ko avok zos ben ven, ahrk that’s nunon voth dii nunt haal. Ni nunon los Zu'u extensively delah ko unarmed vukein, nuz Zu'u lost rahnd wah ulaan arsenal do faal Gegein Vensekos Marine Corps ahrk Zu'u fen brah nii wah niil jahrii extent wah voluk hin tiiraazak reym vau luft do ozinkrel, hi mal draaf. Waan nunon hi vust lost mindok fos vostahdim ropentaar hin mal “clever” ofunlor lost do wah drun tum voknau hi, aalkos hi fund lost held hin -blam!-ing vun. Nuz hi couldn’t, hi didn’t, ahrk nu biis praz, hi goddamn hefhah. Zu'u fen draaf nah pah avok hi ahrk hi fen draak ko nii. You’re -blam!-ing dilon, kiddo.

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