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Edited by FriedUpChicken:
6/18/2015 1:17:46 AM
33
Craziest Jehova's Witness moments you've ever had?
Okay so I wanna make a thread about some of the weirdest, most awkward moments you've ever had with any Jehova's Witness. It could be anything.
So, Floodians, New and Old...
[u]What crazy encounters with Jehovah's Witnesses have you had? Post below![/u]
[b]This is [i]not meant to insult religion.[/i][/b]
Anyway so here's my story (literally just happened about 10 minutes ago)
My Dad and I have been fishing today and we went to one of our most-visited spots, which is a big lake. Great for Bass fishing, freshwater.
Anyway so we haven't had luck lately and a car pulls in next to ours (the lake is on the side of the highway) and two older women with a young child came onto the dock we were on (the docks were very small.)
One of the women say hello and we greet them, and she says they came to look at the lake since they'd never been here before. I didn't really talk, but as they talked to my Dad I noticed that the kid with them literally was dressed like a formal. They then hand my Dad a magazine and tell him: "You look like you love fish so here's a magazine. Take care!"
After they left I put my pole down and grabbed the magazine. The cover was a picture of a Parrot Fish, which js [i]saltwater[/i]. So I think "hm, odd" since we'd been freshwater fishing.
As soon as I open it, I notice that the cover was [i]stapled[/i] to the second page. I read this: [b]"Is Adultery sinful?"[/b] and in the corner I see "JW, Amen"
Other pages said things like "how to be healthy", "Education is a virtue"
I laughed so hard and showed my Dad, he stood there and said "Good God, they're stretching religion to fishing."
And we left. Lol
[b]We have nothing against JWs, but it was hilarious![/b]
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A few showed up at my doorstep asking the usual bullshit when they realized that there were bees under the porch. I died laughing XD
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1 ReplyMy dad once knew a Jewish guy with a really good sense of humor. While he was waiting for a flight in a South Korean airport, a JW woman began to pester him about faith. At first he politely refused to discuss faith, but she insisted. He refused again, saying he was Jewish. This made her try even harder, as she thought it would be great to convert a Jew, but it pissed the guy off. So, fed up with her constant nagging he said: "Look, we caught him, and we nailed him!" He then imitated hammering a nail into a board. The woman screamed and ran off.
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4 RepliesAnother heads up that probably wasn't us, if it's not The Watchtower or Awake! then it's someone else. We get blamed for stuff that isn't us all the time.
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You misspelled Jehovah's, just heads up. Also if you really want to annoy us refer to us as "Jahovah witness" once had a man say that 15 times, never been more annoyed.
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I lived next to a bunch of them for 4 and a half years and they never preached to me lol. Must not be allowed
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12 RepliesOne JW knocked on my door and I didn't answer. I left my windows open while I was watching TV, so he got a good look at my face. He persisted for a while, sighed in frustration, and left. That's when the fun began. I let him walk away a good distance, then I got up and followed him home. I stayed in the bushes for a good hour. Then I got up, onion in one hand and a booklet titled,"This is my swamp". I knocked on his door, he answered, and I said,"Hello brother, do you want to talk about our lord and savior, Shrek?"
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3 RepliesEdited by Sexy D Bacon: 6/16/2015 5:12:13 AM*plays skyrim* *slays dragon* *sells spoils* *returns home* *hears jehovahs knocking on door* *ignores, keeps playing* *hears knocking on door in skyrim two seconds later...*
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4 RepliesKnock at my door I thought great,Jovo's!! Before they could even start their bollocks I said listen "I'm a satanist,I'm into the devil" "Well,we believe in the devil as well" My reply "Not the way I do" Door swings shut.
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1 ReplyOnce when I was in Qom (a Muslim holy city in Iran/Persia) and I saw a couple of JWs running down the street pursued by an angry mob! Long story short I got stuck smuggling a pair of JWs out of Qom in my car so that they wouldn't be lynched.
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7 Replies(Not Jehovah's Witnesses, but Mormons) [b]Mormon[/b]: "Have you excepted Jesus into your life?" [b]Me[/b]: "Uh... yes..." [b]Mormon[/b]: "Oh, really? Which church do you belong to..." [b]Me[/b]: (*dodging question) "... I was raised Catholic..." [b]Mormon[/b]: "Oh, no, no, no... they're a cult." [b]Me[/b]: (*amused by the previous statement) "Say what? You do realize it's the largest Christian denomination, right? Over half of all Christians are Catholic..." [b]Mormon[/b]: "That just makes them the biggest cult in the world." [b]Me[/b]: "So most of South America is part of a cult?" [b]Mormon[/b]: "Yes." [b]Me[/b]: "Guess you got me there... My wife's is waiting for me. Sorry, but I need to go." [b]Mormon[/b]: "Oh, perhaps could talk to her as well." [b]Me[/b]: "Feel free, she was raised Buddhist." [b]Mormon[/b]: (*not sure if I'm being sarcastic or serious) "..." [b]Me[/b]: (*strolls away) - - - - - Later they returned with with three others. They tried to talk to my mother-in-law but she told them off saying they were rude for interrupting a family picnic. They left after that.
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At a bus stop and this random guy, don't know if he a JW but just as confrontational, asked if I believed in God. I told him I didn't know, true opinion, and called me an atheist. I said I wasn't because I believe in the possibility. Then he asked if I believed in the Big Bang. I told him yes because its got the most supporting evidence for it, but I was open to other possibilities. Then he "you can't make something out of nothing", to which I countered " isn't that what God did?". He then left saying "I'll pray for you".
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Christianity has been with fishing since the book of Mathew
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6 RepliesWell, I had a friend in school who was a jehovas witness, and.... well let's just say my three hobbies are video games, politics and disproving religions,(I'm not normal!) So just after we actually became friends,my friend comes up to me (he knows I'm an athiest) and tells me about the JWs and what they do just normal stuff, i say ill look into it and all I'm thinking is that hobby #3 is going to happen tonight, so I run home and look it up... 5 minutes later I'm completely convinced that it isn't true..... all the normal Bible flaws are still there with the occasional edit, but as a former christian, I could tell it was not what it was supposed to be, fast forward about 5 months and I believe I've accidentally made him rethink his entire life, just from tidbits of points that I've made while talking to myself! Well...
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2 RepliesTheir perception of Christianity is completely off. It is just non-sense sprinkled with "Christ" and "sin." [spoiler]I am a fundamentalist baptist myself.[/spoiler]
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You spelt Jehovah wrong
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1 ReplyMy friend is a JW I asked him how Jehovah he was He told me to kill myself [spoiler]tru storie prety crayze I now[/spoiler]
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A few climbed over my moms friends gate once. It was locked and said keep out lol
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When JW said YOU ANT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!
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1 ReplyI hired a jw he was 16 I worked for EB Games back then after getting to know him a bit he was very intelligent and kind to customers and superiors, he didn't curse or try offend anyone he was probably one of the most humble person I've ever met and he said a lot of things that made me think about my life I don't know about you maby when a jw knocks at your door maybe give them a chance they are actually some of the most genuine people I've ever met and ask them questions just thought I'd give my opinion :)
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So I went McDonalds to see this commotion going on and before I can get out I see a big white van that had a Jehovah's Witness logo on it and I drove back home.
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Well this isn't Jehovah's Witness; but as a prank I told some Mormon elders that my Mormon friend was very interested in going on a mission, and he's really shy and problems going to ignore you guy a lot- so just be persistent. I have them his phone number and address. They pestered him for half a year. Lel
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Right. So it was around Easter time and my family is catholic so we had a cross hanging in the window. Then a dumbass Jehovah's Witness comes up and asks us if we were one of them, my mother, being the polite apul she is went with the noce and kind approach while I would've used the sarcastic approach.
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2 RepliesJWs are crazy
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2 RepliesSo my brother was playing Skyrim and i was watching TV then the loading screen with the Black Sacrament came up. I thought that I could actually summon an assassin if i tried to act out the Sacrament,so after I finished pretend stabbing the ground, 2 Jehovah witnesses showed up. Most WTF moment of my life.
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I just shoot on sight so I don't have one
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You know, it's ironic. Despite living in the Bay Area all my life which is a melting pot of diversity and various religions, I've never actually had any such experiences with Jehovah's Witnesses. In fact, I feel more pity for them than anything. So many of those children are neglected or sexually abused growing up, and it seems that once they reach the age where they realize just how absurd their religion is, they end up becoming the wildest, most promiscuous kids there are, sort of taken advantage of because they've never learned. Most of my negative experiences are with Evangelicals, which is partially why I've been accused of anti-Protestantism around here so much.
