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originally posted in:jedi of the sea
5/18/2015 12:45:49 AM
2

Chapter 6: Out of the frying pan and into the fire

Wubba Dubba led us into a darkened back room. It was full of smoke and a bunch of vicious looking dogs playing poker. I sure was getting used to this kind of thing. Wubba Dubba talked in a hushed whisper as he stopped in front of a very plain ordinary looking door and said, "There is only one way out of here and this is it." He then motioned to the door and I had to ask, "Where will this lead us?" "To a dark place...a place dark and hot...Where the fire burns black..." Wubba Dubba said in a fearful tone. Of course Weyland asked in his usual sarcastic tone, "Soooo...you're saying it's dangerous? Why don't we go back the other way we came?" But before Wubba Dubba could answer he continued, "Ohhh! This is my jimmy jam right here!" And he proceeded to break dance and pop and lock right then and there. Wubba Dubba gave me a look that just read upright inflection and I said, "Don't mind him. He's just eccentric and he really likes the trap queen song. But, that's why we love em. He adds a certain spice to life. Not like people who are just sticks in the mud." "Well I can see why Chicken Chain loves him so much." Wubba said in a caring way. "Not many would come down here for a resurrection...because now we must pay the toll..." Confused I said, "But I thought..." Wubba Dubba cut me off, "I wouldn't make you do anything, but there is still a price we must pay. We have to see Luscious Lucius and pay a toll." I asked who that was and he said matter of factly, "Why the ruler of the underworld of course. "With that he opened the door. It was full of blinding luminescent light. As if the door was holding back a star. We gave each other one last look before entering. When we came to, we were a bit disoriented, but that faded quickly. The feeling we now had wash over us was sheer terror. We were in a large chamber that had obelisks on each side every ten feet leading up to a dark throne. The obelisks burned black and gave off a purple light that encased the chamber like black lights. Positioned in between each obelisk were some very heavy looking guards. They looked like a cross between Chuck Norris and predator. They held long intimidating pikes, which they now drew down on us, but they held their ground. A voice that resembled Carl Sagan called out from the throne, "Let them pass." With that the guards went back to their original position like statues. We made our way to the throne and I was surprised at what I saw. A turtle the size of a gigantic one from the gallapagos was sitting upon the throne. He wore a Mr. Peanut top hat with matching monocle. He even had a pimped out cane that was solid gold with a ivory handle and wore a thick run DMC chain around his neck. He spoke, "I didn't think I would see the likes of you here anytime soon Wubba Dubba...The mouse sized elephant...Your heart is much bigger than your body. I honestly don't know how you constantly break the laws of physics." Before Wubba Dubba had a chance to say anything. A enormous bolt of lighting exploded into the room. The guards hurried to protect the king of the underworld. More lightning erupted from out of nowhere and immolated all the guards. Now it was just us left in the chamber and Luscious Lucius yelled, "Who dares toy with my realm!?" A person appeared from a darkened corner. They looked like a Vietnam vet Mr. Rodgers. He said, "Nup Nup sent me to destroy you all." With that he was pulling immense energy from the room. You could see the energy arcing off of him as he readied another lightning bolt. He outstretched his arms and fired. We braced for impact and closed our eyes. To our amazement nothing happened. When we opened our eyes we saw Lucius in the middle of our party. He put a purple bubble around us and said, "This will make your Narwhal horn more powerful. I can't hold it for long though." With that I did not hesitate with my strike. I came down on him like a hammer to an anvil.The enemy was distracted enough for my blow to land true. He exploded into a ball of blue smoke and green bones. While the smoke cleared Chicken Chain said to the corpse, or what was left of it, "What did the five fingers say to the face?"

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