A few grammatical things. Always be sure to keep your punctuation marks inside of your quotations. [quote]"I will go after the attacker, you go back to the tower.", I walked towards the door...[/quote] Should be written as, [i]"I will go after the attacker, you go back to the tower," I said as I walked to the door. Then, I felt his hand grab mine.[/i] [i]"We have to report this," Garth said.[/i] Whenever, [i]I said, he said, she said, etc.[/i], follows a speaker's dialogue, you use a comma at the end of their sentence and keep it within the quotation marks. That's it. And I try not to nit pick because I make grammar mistakes all the time, just some things to keep in mind. Oh, I did get a little confused when the main antagonist (the guy talking in first person), says about finding out why his friend (Jimmy) and Garth were killed. It's one of the last lines, isn't Garth investigating with Sky? Your story is solid, though, and I look forward to more. One more thing, any critique or corrections I make, I would expect from you to say about my own writing. I'm giving constructive criticism and I don't want you to take it personally because it's well written.