Ok so I went to dinner with my mom tonight and she was doing her usual thing, telling me everything about everybody she knows. She was telling me about a family friend back home. I want to tell you about the friend and I want to know your opinion. Names are changed for privacy reasons: [spoiler][i]Jane[/i] is a 14 year old girl. She grew up in a chaotic blended family that would make an Arkansan say "wtf". She has an older sister, two older step-brothers (who are also her cousins), and an older step-sister (who is also her cousin). Growing up with them was chaos. There was also a baby cousin in the house along with the three adults for a total of 9 people in one tiny house. In the family she was treated as the princess. She was the baby girl and she always got her way. She never got in trouble and was really bratty to the other kids. When [i]Jane[/i] was around 10 the family inherited a ton of money and moved into two separate houses. [i]Jane[/i] got showered in toys and princess dresses and video games. She got everything she wanted. She loved being the center of attention and was really good at manipulating the adults in her life. Her sister [i]Mary[/i] was not so lucky. She was the black sheep of the family with poor social skills and low self confidence. Even tho they were rich at this point she still got fewer presents and no attention. Eventually the money ran out. [i]Mary[/i] ended up living with her biological dad, she started cutting herself, attempting suicide and running away from home. [i]Jane[/i] moved out-of-state with her mom, step-dad and one of her step-brothers to live near my family bc her mom and my mom were best friends. After two years here [i]Jane's[/i] mom died suddenly. [i]Jane[/i] moved back home. After a large custody battle with her biological dad, she was able to stay with her step-dad and step-brother. It's been about a year now since her mom's death. [i]Jane[/i] is now completely different than she had been before. Without her mom around she has even more freedom. She is 14 with a 2am curfew. She cuts herself and has attempted suicide multiple times. She spends all night on the Internet. She has a new interest in Japan. She loves anime, sushi, is learning Japanese and wants to move to Japan. (Just stating all the behavior changes, not saying anything negative about that.) At school [i]Jane[/i] has informed her teachers that she is a pangender, pansexual. She has a name tag that she wears on days she would like to be called [i]John[/i]. Two of her teachers allow this. [/spoiler] Do you think the changes were influenced by the death, her chaotic life, exposure to the Internet, or they would have happened anyway? Do you think this is phase, cry for attention or her true self? [spoiler]I included a lot of details to try to make you understand as much as possible. I'm not staring my opinion on the topic. I'm just wondering what you think. [/spoiler] Edit: also I forgot to mention my mom will be the one who gets legal custody of her if her step-dad dies. And [i]Jane[/i] is coming up to visit for a few months this summer. My mom is not sure how to handle it because she is a very strict parent and it will be a massive change to what [i]Jane[/i] is used to. She also feels she may need to tell [i]Jane's[/i] friends parents about [i]Jane's[/i] changes when she comes. Edit2:[quote]I'm hoping people with more knowledge than I on this topic may have advice on if it seems genuine, what to expect and how to help/react.[/quote]