Edit 3: 114 Replies O__O
What happens when the tower has no players. What do the vendors do???
Here's what I think.
The cryptarch sells exotic engrams for 1 glimmer.
The pigeons form an alliance with rahool to steal engrams.
Master Rahool and Xur have a meeting discussing their Monopoly and reign of the economy. (SPIDRBITE)
A vendor opens next to the postmaster, selling tacos. (IstPersnShooter)
Eris stops raving about Crota and her time on the Moon and engages in normal conversation. (datguy12345)
The Crucible Quartermaster has good jokes.
Speaker starts rehearsing the history of the solar system hoping someone will hear him, only to his dismay he is shy and hates talking with people about anything other than fighting the darkness. (ZxSuperChickenxZ)
Xur sells the vex.
Petra sneaks the Queen of The Reef into the tower and films lesbian porn with her, broadcasting it on monitors around the tower. (Siksh0rts12)
The Speaker's machine room thing becomes a giant rave, complete with Xur DJing. (Siksh0rts12)
Lahkshi-2 runs around declaring everything to be heretical and then starts a bonfire behind the IB curtain, sacrificing all the mere peasants in the tower to the ancient greek god Aries. (Siksh0rts12)
Arm wrestling in the Vanguard meeting room. (Manly Chicken)
The gunsmith sells 100 heavy ammo synth for free.
The quarter masters sell 1,000,000 resources for 1 mark.
Amanda Holliday sells raid ships.
Dead orbit cheers up.
Everyone goes down to the bar and gets trashed. Hookers and blow! (eriktehfatty)
The vanguard quartermaster eats a Big Mac.
Executor hideo faps to medieval beheading pictures in history books.
Ghost gets drunk.
The speaker shoots cutscenes. (BEASTninja2001)
Lord Saladin sells every iron banner gun at rank Zero for no glimmer.
Lord shaxx sells light 42 armour.
Cayde-6 gets his memory wiped again and becomes Cayde-7.
Ikora Rey stops disintegrating people when they want to look at her ghost.
Commander zavala realises he's blue.
The bounty tracker only sells exotic bounties.
Katy Perry walks around naked. (zI INFINITY Iz)
The postmaster has infinite vexes, Gjallas, suroses, ice breakers and every exotic in lost items.
Vaults have infinite space.
Special orders has stuff worth looking at after 5 minutes.
Future war cult thinks about peace talks. For 2 seconds, then carries on being hellbent loons.
The purple ball becomes different colours and talks and flies (Kingofdarkness14)
The purple ball is the true form of the Traveller. (YellOPhase)
Xur realises he's a squid. (kk0ff9)
Then a player joins and everything is shitty once more.
K thx bai <3
Edit: added some bootiful suggestions.
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Edited by PVBeachin: 6/12/2015 11:23:19 AMEva Levantis sells all of the shaders people actually want for free.
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Rahool dances Gangnam style and Lord Shaxxt says "You're crushing them"
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Commander zavala tells jokes that are actually funny
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Xur and rahool are talking 'business'
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The Stranger returns and finally has time to explain why she did not have time to explain[spoiler]until She saw the purple ball changing colors[/spoiler]
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Room in front of speaker opens to reveal rahool's nudes
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The Speaker walks around butt naked. No -blam!-s given.
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My hunter was last seen in the tower several weeks back!. I very much suspect he's hiding somewhere.
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If only the queen part was real :)
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people post destiny-related posts on the destiny subforum as opposed to offtopic
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The worker in the bar sets the jukebox to play 'Never Gonna Give You Up' for the first Guardian that turns it on.
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They do bungie jumps off of the tower.
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All ememy races party with the people in the tower... Don't ask
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They play soccer..
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The vendors gossip
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Xur sells all exotics for 1 glimmer
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Variks stops slamming his staff onto the ground.
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The stranger has time to explain. The purple ball turns into a servitor The traveler wakes up
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In the reef the queen makes her rare appearances
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Petra sneaks the Queen of The Reef into the tower and films lesbian porn with her, broadcasting it on monitors around the tower. The Speaker's machine room thing becomes a giant rave, complete with Xur DJing. Lahkshi-2 runs around declaring everything to be heretical and then starts a bonfire behind the IB curtain, sacrificing all the mere peasants in the tower to the ancient greek god Aries.
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The Stranger has time to explain why she has time to explain.
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New Monarchy leaves to go fight American colonists
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Edited by chipwolfe: 5/24/2015 11:11:04 PMXur proposes to Eris and they make slimy, black, squid-man babies that will hide underground until they are large enough to rise up and take back the surface!
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The speaker tells the stories of the great collapse and other things. Hence he's so bored of doing so when you first arrive in the tower.
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The gates in front of the Speaker's building open.