Necro bump

I did Paris

I shît my pants In karate when I was 7. We were practicing high kicks and it flew out of my Gi and stuck to the wall. Most embarrassing moment of my life.

This is the best I can think of at the moment... When I was younger, I had a pool in my back yard. Well I was a lazy little shit, and when I had to pee I'd sneak to the side of the house by the decorative bushes. Then, I'd casually stand and let the warm current stream down my leg. Then I'd walk back to the pool and act normal, as the urine on me washes into the pool. I did this, even though a bathroom was literally steps away. It was abnormally close to the pool. One time I was having a pool party, and I went on with my normal procedure. Then something happened, I had to take a shit. So, I had an idea, shit in the bushes! So I casually slipped away from all the other 8 year olds over to the bushes. I then pulled my swim wear back and released, a perfect whole turd then sat perfectly on the top of one of my mom's fresh cut bushes. Me, not knowing how obvious a huge turd on a bush near a walkway would be, then got back to swimming. And then the party was over. My neighbor, a friend of my mom's, came to pick up her kid from the party while walking her dog. This dog often came by our house, swept through our yards, and even left shits on the front lawn. The neighbor, being the good friend she was, picked up the dogs shits always. When she came by with her dog, my tiny heart fluttered when she stopped to talk to my mom walking towards the bush. So I watched, I saw it all go down. The two women passed near the turd and stopped, they were very surprised to see such a shit. The neighbor thought the wondrous turd was from her pooch, and I'll never forget what she said. [i]"wow! That is a big turd! I've never seen him produce one like this![/i] Then, she proceeded to punish the dog. She went to her house, got a plastic bag, and PICKED UP my voluptuous brownie. She even commented on its texture and color, wondering about what she had fed the dog. And I, behind the stucco wall, had a face as red as a tomato. I couldn't hold my laughter back. I didn't feel and ounce of remorse. To this day I've told no one, and to this day I feel no remorse, because it was by far the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.

If I can get 100 replies I'll (takes deep breath) tell my deepest secret

I talk to myself 24/7. I talk as if someone else were listings, and this is all the time. Only when alone though. I don't want others to think that I'm crazy lol

When I play games I pretend I'm doing a lets play on YouTube. So I like commentate what I'm doing.

*about to get deep here* Some of you might mock me or not take this seriously but [spoiler]i am addicted to pornography, and what's even worse is that I'm religious. It has corrupted my mind, changing my view on women at the worst moments, made me hate myself, and the list goes on....someday I hope to maybe look back on this and laugh at my pettiness. Now porn may be kind of not a special thing but to me it's the most darkest thing I can admit to.[/spoiler]

When I was in high school we went on this music trip to new York and Washington DC. You got to share a room with 3 of your friends. So I got together with 2 of the only friends I had in a music class (the whole school didn't get to go and many of my friends weren't in any music classes. One of my good friends was in music but couldn't afford the trip). As those of you who know 1st grade math may have already noticed, we're short 1 person, so we invited this kid who was "obsessed" with the 2 friends I was staying with (he thought they were like best friends, but they didn't actually like him). So the first night that we're in a hotel we're all running around being idiots and we get the idea to "troll" (more like "be complete assholes because we're 14 and think it's hilarious to be mean to others") this kid. He went to hang out with some of his other friends and so we took that time to concoct a plan. We were trying to think of something we could do when I let out a fart. My friend looked at me and said we should wipe our asses with his pillow (who the -blam!- thinks of this sick shit? Lmao), and so we did, well, I did. I hadn't taken a fresh shit or anything, but it's still my butthole. Wiped my ass with his pillow, put the butthole side face up, and waited for him to come back. When we were getting ready to go to sleep, the "big payoff" was the kid saying his pillow smelled weird and the 3 of us holding back near uncontrollable laughter. He used that pillow for a week straight and we still haven't told him to this day. Tl;dr I wiped a kids pillow on my butthole when I was 14 and he used the same pillow for a week, butthole side up, meaning his face was laying directly where my asshole was

When I was in 7th grade my dude friend sucked my dick. Today I'm straight, he's not. I feel responsible. But, it makes me wonder, if my dick can turn a straight kid gay, can I make a lesbo straight?

I stole my friends blue eyes white dragon in 6th grade

Another secret of mine is that I wish this thread would die so I would stop getting notifications from it

I literally ate a Lego when I was younger.

Once I glued a single Lego to the floor

I'm a furry... [spoiler]I'm into vore ( ͡° ᴥ ͡°)[/spoiler]

So no one judge pls if u are just don't leave So when I was younger I was "weird" and so was my cousin.I was a bit ._. I don't know horny and me and her once made out on the floor home alone if it wasn't for my sister to call me we probably would've -blam!-ed