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8/28/2015 4:53:19 AM
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Burger King Cultist

So today I took my everyday ride up to Burger King at around 8:00 p.m. Given that I have a high metabolism and change lying [i]everywhere[/i] around my house, I eat there a lot. So I grab my money and skate up to Burger King, order chicken fries and a small drink. After filling my cup with Dr. Pepper as I usually do, I sat down and waited. Around 5 minutes later, a man with dirty clothes and putrid smell walks through the door. This isn't unusual, given that I live in Cali and there's an inordinate amount of homeless people, but what is unusual is what he does. So he sits down and immediately starts screaming these deep, guttural, "NYUHAUHUAYAUHUAHU" chants. I almost burst out laughing. He stands up and walks over to the cashier and orders a small drink. He hands over the money and picks up the drink, to immediately freeze and shriek out another, "NYHUARAYLAYARAYAYAYAYAYA." The cashier stands petrified in fear and confusion. I hide my laughter with obviously fake coughs. He slowly walks over to me and proclaims, "YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM THE TRUTH. I AM [i]EVERYTHING AND ANYONE[/i]. He sits down and takes a drink out of his cup. He stands up and walks to a different table, sets his cup down and slowly raises his arms as if he was hailing some dark entity from beyond. If this guy wasn't jesus then he was on [b]hella[/b] pcp. He continues to worship the dark cup demons and let's out another, "GNRYALALALALAYAYAYAYAHHHUAJLA." before grabbing his things and leaving. So yeah. That's NorCal for you.

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