JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.

7/17/2008 2:46:37 PM
7
0
Snarlz

A Novel: World War Retarded

~v~ Hello, just for no confusion i'll be posting one book at a time, there will be multiple Books in this serise. Also, this is meant to be somewhat retarded, but still have somewhat of a storyline. I hope you enjoy it this is my first one. ~v~ -~!v!~- WWR Book 1: The Begining -~!v!~- ~!v!~ Prolouge ~!v!~ Bill saw what they were doing and didn't like it, but yet was still confused. Everything was confusing in Winchester. Wal-Marts prices on every item were fifty cents or more than Bi-los on every single product! But still Wal-Mart got more business because it was new. Bill knew that was wrong, all the medium sized packages of ground beef could see the wrong in people, it was in thier blood. Bill was tired of this, and was going to put and end to it. ~!v!~ Chapter 1 - The Assault ~!v!~ Zac, the can of baked beans, Porky, the egg, and Philas the hairbow was having a meeting next to the subway inside walmart, near main entry doors. " I know," Zac said " we've got to do something abot this..." *KABOOM!!!* Bill and his army of various Bi-lo items were attacking Wal-Mart, putting a stop to this. "We won't deal with your high prices anymore!" He exclaimed The battle was so loud Bill couldn't hear Zac sreaming " Wait! You've got it all wrong!" Bill heard nothing, so Zac come out in the middle of the carnage and held his hand up, very scared he was going to get blast with something very random. " I know you are mad about our prices, and we know it's stupid. We don't control the prices, our manager dose. All of the fighting stoped instintaneosly. Bill now was very sad, he had already killed an egg, and his army killed 3 people and wounded 7, but it was to late. " Meet us at Sonic in 1 hour, we will talk things out. " ~!v!~ Chapter 2 - Subway ~!v!~ There was a mini subway in Wal-Mart, so he desided to get one, and told his army to go back to Bi-Lo, and his closest friends to go to Sonic that he woud catch up with them later. " Hello may I take your order? " " Yes i'll have a Large Meatball Sub. Thanks. " When she was making it, Bill told a joke to get a conversation going, because it takes a while to make a meatball sub, the blonde said nothing and went about with her buisness, and right when she was finished she just got the joke and droped the sub in container that said, "TOXIC WASTE, BUT NOT JUST YOUR AVERAGE TOXIC WASTE, TOXIC WASTE DELUX." At that moment Bill knew he just created a monster, and ran, feeling even worse about himself. The monster didn't chase him, but lurked deeper into Wal-Mart, and Bill went to Sonic. ~!v!~ Chapter 3 - The Speach ~!v!~ Sonic was inbetween WM and BL so they had meetings thier. Wal-Martians and Bi-loians alike stood waiting for Bill to begin speaking. " Hello. First off I would like to say sorry to all the Wal-Martians for the deats and injurys that we brought opon you, it was a mistake we regreat and hope you can forgive us for. That topic would have been the main discussion, that is, if I woulsn't have just made another mistake. I made a dumb subway worker laugh, and she dropped my Meatball Sub in Ultra Toxic Waste. He grew 7 times his size and look about 4 times stronger. I have created a monster. He has capability to kill us all. Im sorry for my past actions." The crowd was eager to fight, they began screaming scream "LETS KILL EM'" and things like that, but Bill began speaking once more. " Sorry, but I started this, and i'm going to end it. Alone. " Bill walked off stage and walked slowly to Wal-Mart. ~!v!~ Chapter 4 - The Search ~!v!~ Bill knew his way around here, he knew just about every thing in both WM and BL. He knew that Meatball Sub would go to the sock section in the very back. For it is dark and desserted. So bill ran through isle 2, 17 then finaly 7 2/9ths and he was there. - Chapter 4 1/2 - POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK ~!v!~ Chapter 5 - The Negotiation ~!v!~ Bill saw Meatball Sub and Meatball Sub warned him. "Don't mover or i'll kill ya'!" Bill stood still. Meatball Sub got something from behind some pink socks. " Do you know what this is, Bill? " " Yes, it's a bomb. " " That's Right, and i'll make you a deal, you take this to Bi-lo and detonated it, and i'll let you live and join me as partners in crime. I need an answer. " " I...will...never. " " Fine! Then we will fight, " Meatball sub said as he pulled down a lever beside a sock. " Welcome....to the CHAMBER OF MAYNAISE!!!!!!" ~!v!~ Chapter 6 - The Fight ~!v!~ Bill and Meatball Sub fell to a 20 Large circular platform suspend 100 Feet in the air, about Steam hot, BOILING MAYONAISE!!! That could kill even the mightiest soldiers. " Time to die bill! " Meatball sub said right as the brawl began. The punched, kicked, clawed, and pushed each other for the longest 3 minutes of thier lives, when Meatball Sub got the better of Bill and pushed him off the edge, luckily, Bill grabbed on with one hand. " Your time is up Bill, any last words " Bill saw something in the distance, and Bill knew it had to be resistance. " Actuly I do, Meatball Sub. " " Oh? and what would that be? " " Eat that! " AND DEN A FLYIN' KITTEN NAMED BLUHH PUNCHED MEATBALL SUB...RIGHT IN THA LOAF! Bluhh made a brief goodbye, " Bill, you have no idea whats about to happen here, your about to be attacked. We WILL meet again. " Bill didn't even have time to say thank you, and bluhh was out of sight. Bill climbed up and out of the Chamber of Mayonaise, and went home. ~!v!~ Epilouge ~!v!~ He has no idea what im capable of, thought Meatball sub while floating to the emergency exit below the maynasie, He will die, and I will rule both stores, and become the riches Sub alive! Thanks for reading, Book 2 coming soon! Leave your thoughts about Book 1! Thanks! ' [Edited on 07.17.2008 6:55 AM PDT]
Add more answer options

Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • When's book two coming out?
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Thanks [Edited on 07.17.2008 1:30 PM PDT]
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • feew? WWR is RETARDED! tl;dr
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • "Twas kinda wierd, but I liked it. :)
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Thanks to everyone who is supporting me as I write these, Book 3 will be the final book then im starting a new serise if you guys want me to. Thanks. [Edited on 07.18.2008 11:32 AM PDT]
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • Book 3 coming soon! [Edited on 07.18.2008 11:31 AM PDT]
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

  • ~!v!~ Book 2 - Destruction ~!v!~ ~v~ Prolouge ~v~ Bill and his new friend Linda were watching the news, when they heard a relieving story. " The Meatball Sub was found dead under the mayonaise today," the news reporter said, " The mayonaise has been drained and the GSCSI ( Grocrey Store Crime Scene Investigators ) studied the scene, and belive the sub was trying to escape out the escape hatch, but ultimatly failed. Epicly. " Few! " Bill said as he turned off the television, " We don't have to worry about that anymore, I think we are safe. " ~v~ Chapter 1 - The General ~v~ The Food Lion General Watson walked up to Captain Brenard, " Brenard! Report! " " 18 of 30 fully operational and redy to fly! Sorry sir, but 7 are unopperational, and the other five will be read in 10!" " Great..." Watson said sarcasticly, " At least its enough, but why can't we ever be 100%?" ~v~ Chapter 2 - Nightmare ~v~ Bill was walking to Wal-Mart to tell his friends, and heard a increasingly loud zooming noise in the distance, then saw fighter jets, hoped they were just a human aircraft, but took cover behind a desserted house just in case. Bill thought it was scary to hear VROOM, but when he heard BOOM, it was a completely different ball game. About 10 seconds into the bombing a antenea fell off the house and hit bill, knocking him out. ( 30 minutes later ) Bill woke up to see nothing but what looked like a tornado had come through, a typical afterscene of boming. He called out to see if anyone was alive, and it felt like a car ran him over when he saw that wal-mart and Bi-lo had been bombed, all his friends and family dead. ~v~ Chapter 3 - Brodcast ~v~ Bill got out his radio, " Hello, this is Bill, property of Bi-Lo Winchester, im brodcasting on an open channel, please help, we have been bombed, and I know who did it. The next day he has an army of 124, and was ready to tell his situation, [i] thier [/i] situation, " Hello, thank you for coming to assist me. We have been bombed by our hated rival Food Lion. I know only 2 stores got bombed, but this could turn into a huge delima within a matter of days! This is familys were talking about here! This is our last stand! Now c'mon! Lets attack them." " Oh, we already save you the trouble of going to our store." the General said confidently, with an army of what looked like 300 soldiers, standing right behind him, even though Food Lions weren't good fighters, 300 vs 124 would be an even fight when one of Bills soldiers yelled, " GRENADE! " and it started ultimate chaos, and after 2 minutes and 50 seconds of fighting, an eternity on the battlefield, thier were only 4 of Bills soldiers left, and General Watson who was cowering behind a rock. " Hello, Watson " said Bill, " I don't think i'll kill you, i'll just put you behind bars for a while. ~v~ Chapter 4 - Sefner ~v~ One of the remaining soldiers, Pete, took Bill and the rest of the gang to a town called Sefner, where the put Watson behind bars in the cell in the back of Bi-Lo. " Now we got nothing to worry about" thought Bill, and felt a small bit of Peace as he lay down to sleap. " ~ Prolouge ~ Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep... [Edited on 07.18.2008 11:31 AM PDT]
    Add more answer options

    Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post.

preload icon
preload icon
preload icon
You are not allowed to view this content.