Rule 1: Do not call me Bionic or you will get a paddlin'.
Rule 2: Do NOT call me Bionic or you WILL get a paddlin'.
Rule 3: Newfomans are to make a weekly sacrifice to Shrek otherwise they get a paddlin'.
Rule 4: Make a terrible shitpost? You're darn right you're gettin' a paddlin'.
Rule 5: You post a destiny thread in the Flood? You better believe that's a paddlin'! (Onion Beetle)
Rule 6: If you claim yourself to be the ruler of the Flood, you get a good ol' fashioned paddlin'.
Rule 7:If you don't study Wumbology, you bet that's a paddlin'! (StudyOfWumbo)
Rule 8: Try and break my paddle? You get the spiky paddle for that.
Rule 9: Do not call me Bionicle or you will get a paddlin'. (Sailor Mars)
Rule 10: In event that spiky and normal paddles are unavailable the ultra paddle will be summoned and you will receive the ultimate paddlin'. (StudyofWumbo)
Rule 11: If you post Sword art online, Attack on Titan, Naruto, Fairy Tale, One Piece or Boku no Pico on a thread asking for anime suggestions, ya get the paddle. (SwaguSenpai)
Rule 12: If you don't have sex with Marty when he requests it, you get the paddlin'. (Luis)
Rule 13: If you enjoy your paddlin', you get another paddlin'. (Lord Nocturne)
Rule 14: Can't bypass language filter? That's a paddlin'. (TheDesertRanger)
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I like the cut of this Bionic guy's jib...