Ever accidentally toppled the Christmas tree, or thought that dirt was secretly crunchy chocolate? Spill your childhood wrongdoings and misconceptions here Flood (or Offtopites)!
I'll start it off with a simple, stupid thought. I once thought that all songs were recorded live in concert, but they somehow kept the audience quiet or cut them out.
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Ur adopted
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A always though women would automatically get pregnant and have children at a random point in their lives. Then I learned about sex and I was like "oh ok"
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Edited by BloodRaven52455: 4/30/2014 1:29:48 AMI used to constantly picture any woman I knew naked and having sex with them whenever I saw her when I was around 9 or 10. It made me sick to my stomach every time because it was anyone and I felt like I was evil. I also had a dream one night around that age that replicated a late night tmz show I glanced at that my mom was watching where one of the guys was humping a statue for lolz. I was the guy humping the statue, but the statue was my mom. I ran in after I woke up and explained it to her crying. Awkwarrrrrrrd
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Burning the bills. [spoiler]Old bills.[/spoiler]
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Playing with fire :( [spoiler]didn't end well.....[/spoiler]
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Cutting the power of my elementary school in 5th grade was really stupid
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I thought you bought babies at babies-r-us
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I believed in god. That was pretty stupid.
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I burnt my nipple on a fresh tray of cookies.
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In Elementary School we had a lady that worked at the front desk that treated all the kids like they were her own. Though it was in kind of a weird "I need all your approval, will you fix me" way. She had no kids and no husband, but also had a real sense of desperation about her. She would always make comments along the line of "If you were mine", "you should come home with me","I'll come to your Birthday". Things that are okay, but not in certain contexts. She would just beg for attention from the kids. Even then I realized something was off with her. I'm sure I even heard other faculty at one point mention how weird it has gotten. Any way. I was so concerned that she would make one of use get her pregnant that I would take a cup to the restroom we all used during recess, and fill it up with water. I would use the water to cover all the pee that we would get all over the seat and floor. I mean, let's face it we were a bunch of eight yearolds that would pee on anything. I used the water to dilute our pee so that she wouldn't be able to use it to put in her belly and get pregnant, and make one of use live with her, and pay money if we didn't. This was before I realized that I was too young to get anyone pregnant.
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Curious as to why cows eat grass, I decided to try some myself...
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When pictures were black and white, the world for them was black and white. The face you had as a kid is the same face you'll have as an adult. That Earth's landmasses were floating. What I mean by that is I used to think you could go "under", say, North America, by swimming under it. I have a really funny one right here. Flies that entered your body were able to control you. Like, I remember, I was so scared of pooping because I thought a fly would fly up my asshole and fly all the way to my brain and start controlling my body. Bees were able to fly up my bath drain thingy. I though merely kissing would make you have a baby. I used to think that when I died, I would be buried, but giant killer polar bears would come scavenging around the coffins. I used to think that there would someday be a massive bee invasion and our only hope were birds that would eat all the bees! There were cameras since the beginning of time. What I mean is that if I was watching a documentary about dinosaurs, there were actually cameras taping the dinosaurs, or there were actually cameras when the Big Bang happened. (Basically, I didn't know what computer-generated things were)
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Argue with a friend in 5th grade. [spoiler]funny shit[/spoiler]
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I thought that the moon was made out of cheese... I also thought that there were werewolves on the moon, eating the moon.
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Señor Taco!