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3/3/2014 9:57:46 PM
31
Teen has violent sex with hot pocket
[quote]We don't know for sure if we're alone on this planet or if the universe is actually just a hologram, but we do know why this kid had sex with a ham and cheese Hot Pocket.
Thanks to First We Feast, we're now blissfully aware of what made this 18 year old, who goes by the codename VERSACEPOCKETS, decide to fornicate with one of America's favorite savory pastries, post evidence on Vine and become Internet famous.
"I just thought it was so f----n’ funny," he said. He also hinted that he did it to gain Twitter followers, but that plan didn't exactly pan out because, as Jezebel points out, he's now banned from Twitter, Vine and blocked by @hotpockets.
VERSACEPOCKETS also said those looking to follow in his flakey-crusted footsteps should wrap it up.
"I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot," he said. "I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, 'Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.'"[/quote]
[url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/02/guy-had-sex-with-hot-pocket_n_4885133.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063[/url]
hue, not even from the onion
English
#Offtopic
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5 Replies
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Is that a hot pocket in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
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I take it the hot pocket didn't survive?
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I'm dying from laughing right now! MY SIDES ARE BLEEDING! XD
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Edited by Tendylicious: 3/4/2014 1:11:15 AMDid he atleast let it cool down first? oh, wow. He did.
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What in the Hell is the world coming to?
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That's... [i]Hot.[/i]
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2 RepliesWell... at least he saved himself for a good version. Ham and cheese is the best.
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1 Reply[i]Hooot Pocket[/i]
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Must have been a virgin.
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1 ReplyThis generations version of American Pie? American Hot Pocket!
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The hot pocket was asking for it.
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Good god. Russia, hurry up, World war 3 needs to commence.
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People's reasoning for doing REALLY STUPID things? It would be funny smh
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I just got done eating two meatball & mozzarella hot pockets.
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Is this satire? It must be satire. ...But is it?
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That's hot. Hot pocket, that is.
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Must have been hot.
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Topkek
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1 ReplyI guess you could say he didn't keep his dick in his [i]pocket[/i]! [spoiler]...[/spoiler]
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1 Reply[quote]'Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.'"[/quote] [quote]in the whole Hot Pocket.'"[/quote]Now this is news. Damn kid microwaved Hot Pocket so that the whole thing was hot!That's a bloody miracle!
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2 Replies*sigh* There's nothing I can really say to express my absolute befuddlement.
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Poor hot pocket...
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A true man.
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He's my hero.
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Wow,if you have to go that low just to get attention,you have reached Popular Bungie Forum Poster Status.
