So when you design an alien species or a robot or some stupid sh­it for a science fiction thing and you want it to be instantly visually relatable, you have to give it human face and female parts. Extra bigot-points if you give the character baby characteristics, like big ignorant eyes and a head that's too large to be properly supported by its body. Giving your aliens vaginas and boobies in your story means that they are definitely, 100% fuc­kable in the minds of at least three quarters of your target audience. This idea actually extends to all enemy factions. When you have a female enemy in a movie, it's normally so the main character can put his porker in her microwave at the end to tie everything up in a nice life-affirming bow. See: star trek the motion picture's bald zombie-robot-chick, farscape's aeryn and that one engineer-lady, battlestar gallactica's six and athene, star trek voyager's seven of nine, indiana jones and the last crusade's [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] chick, and probably more awful things. But let's talk about the faces. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mCb8nZxg2M][i][b]OH GOD THE FACES[/b][/i][/url]. The remaining percentage of humans that like to interact with other humans in ways that aren't sex really like faces. Actually, the lack of a nice, symmetrical, aesthetically pleasing face can be a dealbreaker for those three quarters I already mentioned. I don't understand why, but whatever. You see psychologists have a term called "pareidolia" that they use because people see faces and virgin marys in everything. We do this because we didn't have a nice verbal language for most of our history (prehistory, whatever) and had to rely on physical stuff like faces for essential interpersonal information exchange. It's all very horrifying. Anyway since cavemen developed practical bigotries we're going to carry their expectations into space, thanks to all those awful television shows and popular movies that aren't horror flicks. But at least horror flicks probably have it right, right? NO THEY'RE WORSE BECAUSE THEY'RE THE EASIEST TYPE OF FILM TO MAKE AND ARE THUS ALL INCREDIBLY STU- Horror films are also bad because they justify our angry-run-away-attack tendencies toward things that are black, jagged, slimy, sticky, or penis-shaped. No one likes penis for some reason. Ridley Scott admits he shaped his Alien like a penis with another penis coming out of it because people don't like penis. I know you don't like penis because you cringed inwardly every time you just read the word penis just now. That's why the best horror writers are hateful bigots. H.P. Lovecraft, the objectively best horror writer ever ever ever says the cashier at my local Hot Topic, hated pretty much everything that wasn't an educated white male. And he's such a talented writer that I find myself being a stupid racist with him, and that actually adds to the horror for me. But back to titties. This titty trend is terribly trying and technically retarded. There aren't too many animals on Earth with boobs, and the ones that do have boobs are all floppy by our standards. Yet every alien in everything always has a nice rack. I understand a lot of science fiction is a message of hope but this is ridiculous. Even weirder are the sexy robots with titties like that incredibly stupid body they put Cortana in in the awful p­orn video game Ass Erect 3. I understand why computers have soothing female voices but what mechanical function do the breasts serve on the goddamn robot person WHY IS THIS A THI nk About It.