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8/17/2006 4:37:38 AM
26
Who Ate All The Pie? An Insane Short Story. *Ok, Chap 3 and 4 are up*
Ok, this is a short story I wrote about a year ago when i was bored.
Hate it, Love it, whatever.
I don't claim to own any characters, other then the Police Chief guy.
And sorry if there are any grammatical errors, I havn't gotten around to editing it yet.
Chapter 1.
It was not a normal day in Kelsington. The sky was blue! Good gravy it was blue! It wasn't its normal shade of musty brown, it was blue! No one was sure why this happened, but the resident town detective had his suspicions...
"Im telling you, its because someone spilled a can of paint upside down! They opened it the wrong way and it fell up!", the Detective argued.
"And I'm telling you that that is impossible. How can something fall up? It is absurd, ridiculous, abnormal, crazy, impossible, and improbable!" The Police Chief argued back.
"Well if you stand on your head it does. Watch and learn my very serious employer.", The detective picked up the Chiefs' pen and stood on his head. He dropped it and do you want to guess what happened? Well, it fell up! It hit the ceiling, bounced, and fell back to the ceiling where it stayed. "See? I told you, now we need some musty brown paint! Lets fix the sky!"
"Ju-da-bu-... how did that happen!?... I guess you were...right. Well, go find the culprit! I will get a team to fix the sky!"
*********** ********** ****************** ********** ***
The Detective had finally pinpointed the hideout of the culprit. His name was Triangle Man and really liked to mess stuff up and annoy people. He liked to annoy them like a fly buzzing around your ear, or a gnat that decided to fly uo your nose. Yes he was annoying just like them. The Detective marched up to his house and sniffed the door. Sniffing doors was Kelsingtons way of knocking. Dont ask why, thats just how they do it. There was no answer so he preceded to blow the door down because it was made of air. So, if you think about it, there was no dor and he opened no door and he smelt no door. All of that is absoloutly mad but thats how it happened, I was there!
The Detective walked in and noticed he hadn't really walked in anywhere and was standing in an open field. He saw triangle man standing near a table eating something. The Detective walked up to him and asked, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TRIANGLE MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN!"
Triangle man screamed like a little girl and turned around.
"Oh hey there Mr. Detective. I was just eating some pie. I sure do love pie!"
"Indeed. Everyone here in Kelsington loves pie... GIMMIE SOME!"
"NO! ITS MINE... Its....my....preeeecious."
"Well now I have to arrest you. You quoted Gollum from the Lord of the Rings and you didnt say you cited him. Now I get your pie. I WIN!
" Oh tartar sauce. If it wasnt for you meddling kids and that dumb dog of yours I would have gotten away with it!"
"Now you go to jail for quoting Spongebob Squarepants and Scooby Doo without citing them. You lose. And I have no dog... and im not plural... nor am I a kid... you get the death sentance for being stupid.
"Awwww man."
[Edited on 8/17/2006]
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Yes I know, weird ending. I couldn't think of anything. Chap 4. The End. The creature that hopped out of that door was horrifying. It was white. It had red eyes. It had long ears. It was...A cute cuddly bunny wabbit! No it wasn't cute or cuddly. It wasn't fun to play with or be with. No, it was the evil bunny who guarded the Cave of Doom!!! But there was no Cave of Doom so it wasn't guarding it. So technically it was just...there. "What beast is this?" The detective shouted. "That is the evil bunny..of doom!" Tony then laughed so hard that he died. "Well I guess it's safe to assume there won't be a huge climatic battle against him." "No, but there will be a huge climatic battle against ME!" Shouted the newly reinvigorated Triangle Man. "No...NO, I KILLED YOU!!! YOUR DEAD YOU CANT BE HERE!" The detective shouted. "I can and I am Detective...or should i say LOG!!" Triangle Man shouted. "Noooo my identity has been revealed!! What will I ever doooo?" The detective then morphed into something brown. Something made of wood. Something heavy. He morphed into Log! It was at that moment that Taylor came to him! "Detective, you are log?? Oh boy I want one..I think I feel a song coming on!" Then Taylor sang the one song to rule them all One song to find them. One song to bring them all and in the darkness BIND them....kinda "All kids love log! Log rolls down stairs, picks up your bears, over the nieghbors dog. Its great for a snack, its fits on your back, its Log Log Log. Its Looog, Looog, its big, its heavy, its wood! Its Looog, Looog, its better than bad its good! Everyone wants a log. Who wants a Log? Come and get your log. Everyone needs a log! From...Whamo! Doopa doop doop dun duuuh dud While Taylor was singing, every resident of Kelsington who had played a role in this story had arrived. "The detective is a liar! He ate all the pie! Everyone knows that the Log toys eat all the pie!" Triangle man shouted. "Wait," Taylor shouted. "I have a confession also. I am....I am... I am OilSt0rm!" There was a big shock from the audience. OilSt0rm was the inventor of pie. "Log did not eat all the pie....I did....nt....No it was....nt....me. It was no one. I took the pie away from us. Don't you guys see? With Pie were all happy. Without it were evil. So, can't we jsut try to live without pie?" Everybody in that area stared at him. What a moron. What a stupid retarded moron. How are you going to take the pie away from everyone and expect things to be good? This was madness. And then..the Knights who say Ni! arrived. "Whats going on here? Where is our Shrubbery? I demand a Shrubbery!" The head knight shouted. He then leaned against a Galloping Gohart."Give me shrubbery, or give me death!" It was then at that instant that all became clear. A shrubbery came falling out of the sky and landed on his head. "Good gravy! This Shrubbery is very fine! But to bad we don't want it. We are not the Knights who say Ni! any longer. We are the Knights who say Inky-Inky-Inky-Gablorg-Spilatch-Grooombalyayyayayayayayayayam eow! "Shut UP!!!" The insane guy who tried to kill himself but couldn't because the road was much to soft said. He then shot all of the Knights who say Ni! With his Magic Rainbow Gun that shoots Rainbows(IN STORES NOW!) "Omg He has teh magik raneboow gun!! Every1 bett3r run awayZZorz!!" Shouted a monkey. He shot the monkey with it. Now your probably wondering. What is the writer or this story thinking? The detective is a log? That guy killed all of the KNights who formerly said Ni! with a maic rainbow gun. Taylor is smart enough to invent pie? A monkey? What happened to that cuddy bunny! The answers come....NOW! "Look, here comes the bunny!" The detective shouted. That psycho with the rainbow tried to shoot it but the bunny jumped on his face and ate it. Meanwhile Taylor was describing why he acted dumb. "Its because I like to make people laugh and so no one would suspect me of making pie!" Oh and the rainbow gun that shoots rainbows came from Whamo, the people who brought you log! 6000 seconds later. Everyone was settled. The Galloping Gohart would only drop things when you asked it to give you death or pie! Taylor was out business. The detective was used to make a house for the bunny who was actually a good bunny but under Particle Mans' spell. Particle man was in Jail. That monkey who was 1337 is still dead. The rainbow gun is now in the game Halo 2 and is the favorite gun of all n00bs(Hi jearbear!). Kelsington was also renamed Swingerville. And then they all lived happily ever after. Almost. And the skies parted. A mysterious being landed amongst them. His name...was John. 117... And he was here...to kill the covenant. With a roar and an explosion 100 Gold Elites(Commanders) rushed into Swingersville, slaying all who were unfortunatly in there way. John had only a Sniper Rifle with 50 shots(Enough to kill 20 Elites(this is on Legendary Difficulty!!)) and an Energry sword with enough energy to kill only one Elite. "What if you miss?" His female A.I. companion asked. "I won't." [Edited on 8/17/2006]
