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10/12/2012 4:37:31 PM
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How do I test if my neighbors are vampires?

I'm pretty sure they are. They have never once left their house during the day. At night they leave all their lights on until morning, during the day they pull all the blinds. And they act weird at night. The other night I saw one standing motionless in their backyard staring at the sky. He stood there, still as a statue for hours. I am pretty sure they are vampires, I don't know how to test it though. (no, this is not a movie reference)
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  • How do I test if my neighbor is Dinkleberg?
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Double A Charlie, why are your threads starting to become really stupid.[/quote]I disagree. They're just getting better, more intelligent, more awesome. You just can't comprehend.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] FriendlyStu16 Bless their water supply or throw garlic at them. [/quote]
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  • As vampires are the living dead, they have no heartbeat. So what you do is go into their bedroom and seduce the man of the house. Perform oral stimulation on him - if he doesn't get hard, then he is a vampire. No blood flow. [Edited on 10.12.2012 9:08 AM PDT]
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  • 0
    Razgriz
    Razgriz

    In Mexico until Friday - old

    [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Big Black Bear Get them to read this topic. If they do not die from boredom, then they are clearely already in some un-dead state.[/quote]Does this mean, we all are dead?
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  • Ask them.
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  • Charlie, why are your threads starting to become really stupid.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] o0MrCheesy0o But you'd buy a submarine? O_O[/quote] >Implying I don't already own a submarine.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Adamcunn [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] o0MrCheesy0o [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Adamcunn Alternative: Lure them out to sea and look at them through a submarine periscope. If they don't appear, they're vampires.[/quote]My idea is more practical... [/quote] I'd rather not waste my money on one of those cameras.[/quote]But you'd buy a submarine? O_O [Edited on 10.12.2012 9:05 AM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] o0MrCheesy0o [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Adamcunn Alternative: Lure them out to sea and look at them through a submarine periscope. If they don't appear, they're vampires.[/quote]My idea is more practical... [/quote] I'd rather not waste my money on one of those cameras.
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  • Put a hot girl in their driveway and have someone try and run her over.
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    Stab them in the heart with a wooden steak. If they die, assume you did the world a favor.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Adamcunn Alternative: Lure them out to sea and look at them through a submarine periscope. If they don't appear, they're vampires.[/quote]My idea is more practical...
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  • Alternative: Lure them out to sea and look at them through a submarine periscope. If they don't appear, they're vampires.
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  • Just get into an argument and say "bite me" when you're done and just see how it goes from there.
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  • I know! Take a photo of them with one of those, you know, old cameras that have mirrors in 'em. If they don't appear in the photo they're vampires!
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  • Make them a spaghetti and garlic bread supper. On a side note, do we have the same neighbors? I never see my neighbors outside. [Edited on 10.12.2012 8:50 AM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] westpointusma15 Shoot them in the head with a silver bullet. If they die, the are/were vampires[/quote] That's werewolves.
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  • Shoot them in the head with a silver bullet. If they die, the are/were vampires
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MyNameIsCharlie [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] o0MrCheesy0o Invite them over for dinner, and put garlic in the non-garlic dinner. [/quote]But then they have been invited in, making any attempt to detect them nul. [/quote]I don't understand... why? I don't know a lot about vampires :<
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  • Bless their water supply or throw garlic at them.
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  • Squirt them with holy water.
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  • throw garlic that you grew your self which had been watered only by holy water and each has 3 small but powerful UV lights on them. [quote] [b]Posted by:[/b] TuffJuice More likely you're confusing vampires for heroin addicts... its a common mistake.[/quote] this was my first thought too! [Edited on 10.12.2012 8:45 AM PDT]
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  • Don't invite them into your house. Then stab them with a stake. If they dissolve, they're vampires. If they don't you just murdered your neighbours you bastard! It's win win, really.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ElementalRunner Throw garlic at them.[/quote] Exactly what I was thinking.
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] o0MrCheesy0o Invite them over for dinner, and put garlic in the non-garlic dinner. [/quote]But then they have been invited in, making any attempt to detect them nul.
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