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Edited by Tri1k:
7/9/2018 4:10:43 AM
34
Could use some life help/advice/need to rant
So I haven’t told anyone except Slimy about this, and even him I haven’t really told much about it, I know that this might not be the place for this always, but I trust a lot of you guys. So what happened was I got kicked out of swim practice one day, it was a morning practice and I was tired and all that, so I wasn’t going all that fast, the summer coach asked me to get out and I didn’t, 3 times. I didn’t want to get kicked out because I knew if I did I’d get in trouble and my friends would probably be mad at me still. But I’m kinda dumb and am happy with my half developed plan. Well, it backfired (my luck) and my friends won’t really talk to me, sometimes they would text me. The real reason they aren’t really talking to me is their parents think the coach is some god. So it was pretty lonely but I do still have a friend from school who I play with (anyone in my Discord, that’s Ahrix).
Well, that’s the backstory, I could deal with that, I knew my friends would come around, I knew I just needed to prove that I wouldn’t do that again (I’m probably not going to do long course season for swim anyway next year) but then something else happened. My friends were talking to me occasionally and playing games with me occasionally. It was starting to get better. Then I get a text from my friend saying to get on Xbox. I was pretty excited because I figured this would be the day that I get to play with them for more than a few games and they might start talking to me like they used to.
I was wrong. They invited me to a party, I joined, then my friends asked me why I used one of them as an excuse as to why I got in trouble. I didn’t do that. Let’s call the guy I supposedly used Steve. So when I was explaining to my mom what happened when I got kicked out, I did mention Steve. There is another guy involved. He’s kinda one of the few people that get me really pissed off and he is very obnoxious. We’re going to call him Bob. So when the coach told me to get out, I kept swimming, Bob came and started grabbing my legs and stuff. Then Steve came out and started talking to me. What he told me was the only reason I went back and got out. The reason I mentioned him in my explanation to my mom of what happened, was I said something along the lines of “I would have punched Bob in the face if Steve hadn’t came and started telling me to go back.” That is the only time I mentioned him.
So that means someone is spreading something. My friend Steve said the coach told his mom that I said that about what I told her about why I got kicked out was his fault. I hardly even talked to the coach. I didn’t tell her that at least. What do I do? Thanks for any advice guys. Sorry it was really long just need to rant and get this out :/
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You might need new friends
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This all sounds a bit too silly. Either a) it didnt happen b) your friends are slightly special or c) this isnt the full story. Swim training is never that hectic.
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I know it may sound overly simplistic, and I'm not trying to be sarcastic, but it seems like maybe it would be good to make new friends. If your friends will turn on you based on someone else telling them they should do so, then they aren't really friends. True friends are loyal and will stand by you even when you wrong (why at same time telling you your wrong). It's better to cut your losses and focus your energy on finding friends who are trustworthy and loyal.
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1 ReplyPiss on it while t-posing and singing the Halo theme to assert dominance.
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1 ReplyStep 1: Buy a rope Step 2: Tie it into a loop Step 3: [spoiler]Go lasso some horses![/spoiler]
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5 RepliesNormally, I would try to be helpful, but I got nothing Hoss. Personally, I would probably let that bridge burn, but that may not be your best choice. I think you need to take the time to ask yourself if these guys are really worthy of you. Based on what you said, they do not know you well enough to know if you would throw them under the bus, so how good of friends can they be? I exoect my friends to know me well enough to know what I would and would not do for the most part.
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3 RepliesLeave your friends out of your problems. Normally when I run into a problem, unless it's [b]very[/b] serious, I normally don't involve any of my friends in any explanations. I do have another piece of advice, [i]Do what what your told.[/i]
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1 Reply[quote] So what happened was I got kicked out of swim practice one day, it was a morning practice and I was tired and all that, so I wasn’t going all that fast, the summer coach asked me to get out and I didn’t, 3 times. I didn’t want to get kicked out because I knew if I did I’d get in trouble and my friends would probably be mad at me still. But I’m kinda dumb and am happy with my half developed plan.[/quote] You seem to be leaving context out of this. But more over, you are on a team. You go to practice, to practice. That means you give it your everything to try to get better. You made the commitment when you joined the team. Now, why didn't you get out when told? 3 times? That's stubbornness and it sounds like you wanted to get into trouble. What is this "dumb and happy, half developed plan"? I see that there was an edit to the op, but there is information missing here.
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3 RepliesEdited by kellygreen45: 7/9/2018 8:49:10 AMAh....memories...none of them good ones. 1. Unfortunately this kind of political crap that swirls around school aged sports teams is sometimes just unavoidable. Especially when parents start getting involved. It can get pretty crazy-making for the kids. 2. You need a new set of "friends". Because WHATEVER it was that took place between you and the coach that led you to getting kicked out of practice was [b]none of their f-ing business[/b]. Bob had no business playing "enforcer" and trying to haul you out of the pool (he'd have gotten his ass kicked if he'd tried something like that with me at that age). ...and they had even less business making it an issue AWAY from the pool. Real friends don't treat you the way these individuals are. 3. You may be doing this already, but you may want to rethink your involvement in swimming. Because it doesn't sound like you're enjoying what it is you're doing...and it sounds like there is a pretty toxic environment around this team. I played YEARS of recreational, as well as varsity high school football and baseball....as well as Division I collegiate baseball. I NEVER saw a coach kick anyone out of practice for simply having a bad day....and a team member trying physically eject another team member from practice. Unless you're trying for a college scholarship or the Olympics....you don't need this...and if you arent' having fun, there's no reason to put up with it. Find something else you enjoy doing, and let those fools make each other miserable. Hope this helps.
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If someone is spreading something about you, you need to get the story straight to anyone who hasn’t heard yet. That’s the things with rumors. Chances are someone thought you were being a bitch and decided to try and put you down by spreading a rumor. This is partially why I try to keep my identity secret from all forms of media. Hell I don’t even have a Facebook account. By staying away from those kinds of media and basically making two versions of myself (real life self and video game self) I’ve effectively been able to get rid of any bad rumors about me. They don’t know how to spread it online, they can’t spam me with hate, and I can control the messaging. For you my friend, head straight towards the source of the rumor, and crush it. Metaphorically. If you did it physically you might get arrested :/
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2 RepliesDude if you want to join a raid, message me @NiftyEric on xbox. And ps you werent going to the olympics anyway so who cares
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5 RepliesGet new friends. You really don’t need to be around people like that or feel the need to please them. Also, I think you should drop swimming altogether and take some MMA classes. You’ll get the opportunity to meet a lot of new people of all levels of expertise that’ll help you get better. Just my advice, I recognize you may not want to learn MMA or even drop swimming, but I still feel you should look into other sports.
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1 ReplyGosh dang it bob that's not how friendship works! But I think you're better off finding friends that actually knows what friends are and how works.
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5 RepliesEdited by CaptainMericah: 7/9/2018 4:55:35 PMJust explain to your friends your side of the story if they’ll listen. Don’t make excuses, if you can find something to apologize for do that and say it won’t happen again. They’ll probably come around, but if they don’t then you’ll just have to move on as much as that sucks. Friends come and go, and if the reason they stop being friends is a dumb one, more reason to stop being friends with them. Also I don’t understand why you were kicked from practice for being slow, shouldn’t that mean you need more practice?
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3 RepliesConclusion: be like me and have no good friends. Life is so much better and easier that way
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5 RepliesTell them the truth. And if they don’t believe you and won’t be friends because you got kicked out of swim practice (which is an idiotic reason imo) then tell them to screw themselves for not trusting you.
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My advice to you is ditch those friends. If they’re going to treat you like that then they’re not real friends. Find some people who will stick by you dude. Not backstab you because of one incident.
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1 ReplyCoach: (I already hate him because he’s treated like a god) Steve: He could have approached it better Bob: Dickhead garbage, punch him next time you have a reason to.
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"friends"
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3 RepliesMy solution get out of high school. Life got a lot simpler for me after I did.
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1 Reply1. Your coach is a fаg 2. Your friends sound heavily autistic 3. You should’ve ripped the dudes head off when he was trying to drag you in the pool 4. You should’ve just got out of the pool regardless of the horrid reasoning 5. Stop caring so much about people other than yourself. Friends come and go, you don’t need to keep everyone in your life. If they’re drifting away, let them. No one is irreplaceable.
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1 ReplyTell whoever needs to know why you were kicked out, and what truly happened. Do not sugarcoat your side of the story. If you’re partially to blame, own it. Illustrate how what you’ve said and what’s been done have been misconstrued by third parties who were not there and do not know the full story. If they will not listen, let it simmer. If they will not buy it, find new friends.
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3 RepliesI haven't read other replies to this yet, so, if what I say overlaps other advice, I'm sorry to repeat what you've already heard. The first person I think you should talk to is Steve. Explain to him that your mom misinterpreted what you told her, and explain how we all know that moms are overprotective, never blame their own kid, always blame someone else's kid, so it was a miscommunication that got misconstrued even further by the "mom factor." Tell him that you really want to make things right, because if he got in trouble when he shouldn't have, it has to be corrected. Ask him who it is he wants you to talk to in order to explain things properly, or what else he would need to make the situation right. Maybe even offer to introduce him to your mom, and with him there, explain how Steve shouldn't have gotten in trouble and how she misheard you. That way you're giving Steve the power to decide how this can be fixed, which will make him feel appreciative and know that you are genuine. By offering a solution, and also asking him to come up with one, you are saying that there IS a solution. So by him trying to think of a solution, in his mind, he will already be thinking in a mindset where a solution is possible. After you talk to Steve and do what it takes to set things straight, when other people bring it up, don't talk about details. Just say that what happened to Steve wasnt right, it was a miscommunication, and you worked it out with Steve. Leave it at that. That way people will go to Steve for the details, and hear from him that you ended up being a class act. It will be more powerful coming from Steve, and will be much more likely to fix people's opinions of you, than you trying to plead your own case to them.
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1 ReplyEdited by Pie: 7/9/2018 12:19:35 AMI think where you messed up was not punching that Bob kid in the throat. Edit: But you can't just go punch Bob in the throat now. Missed the opportunity.
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3 RepliesI don’t understand why you were kicked out, were you tired and just not stoping?
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3 RepliesGet new friends.
