Everybody knows the first videogame is Mario Brothers, but did you know that the second Mario brothers wasn't even actually Mario 2? Yeah! It was actually a Japanese game called "Harry Potter and the F[i]u[/i]cking Wizard!" I know, what the hell? The Marios went on to sell 3.9 billion copies, but Reggie was pissed, so he made "Sega Gemisis." >Sega Commercial Starts< *Explosion sounds* Sega Announcer: The most advanced videogame system in the universe! Sega Scientist: Yes! Sega Announcer: Megadrive, from Sega! >End Commercial< This era in gaming is referred to by historians as "The Golden Age." We saw the release of many classics like "Tarzan" for PS1. That's it. Then. Knack came out. ♪Here Comes the Money♪ Uh-oh ... Did someone say KNAAACK!? Awwww, bam, baby! It's Knack baby aww yeeeah! Ah yeah, you like that Knack don'chya ya little bitch! Yeah, you like that $hit! Yeah, it's Knack baby! It's Knack- Sadly, Knack would only go on to sell 3 copies because it was the worst game ever made. The creator of Knack, Blizzard Games, spiraled into insanity. Resentful of the human race, he poured his hatred and his cruelty into a game called "Angry Bird." In this game, you played as a soulless serial r[i]a[/i]pist as he tries to jump over the graphics from Mario. Then, in a guerrilla marketing stunt, Pewdiepie made a deal with dreamboy so he could only make blogs about crappy bird, so then all the dick-sucker kids went and started buying happy bird, so then the making of tracking bird was a f[i]u[/i]cking bastard, shut it down so he could make Minecraft! Then Minecraft comes out, Pewdiepie goes, "OOH, This game is a nipple dude! HUEHUEHUE AHAHA! This game is a nipple dude! I don't like Knack though because I'm a little PU55Y!" So all these little f[i]u[/i]cking retards buy Mineshaft, then Reggie goes, "Now I can make Minecraft 2!" *Infernal noises* WELL HOLD THE PHONE F[u]U[/u]CKER! Turns out Microsoft owned Minecraft owned Minecraft the whole time! You piece of SHIIIIT! Go to JAIL! Uhh, go to jail! -2007 and Beyond Time- What will the future of gaming bring? No man truly knows. Except me. As we speak, scientists are making an all-new game called "FPS." They say the game is being developed in an underground lab, deep within Indo-China. Here it is now! ♪Here Comes the Money♪ Uh-oh, it's just Knack baby! Knack is back baby! It's Knack! YEEEAAH you liked that Knack!!! YEEAH, how'd you like that Knack! *(Many, many muffled tracks of Dunkey yelling praise for Knack)*

Check your porch, and give the dog waiting there 201.50 copies of Destiny 2. Finally, return to the lake of the loch Ness monster, preferably in the morning. Sacrifice a Year 1 Destiny player, but save a few drops of blood for the potion you'll make later. Tree fiddy drops of blood, to be exact. Then, perform the toast/envelope ritual with the lock Ness monster. If the monster kicks you in the balls, start all over. On the other hand, if you get the response that confirms its love for you, then you must marry the loch Ness monster, and impregnate it. Finally, raise the child to the age of 13, get the child a Bungie.net account, and then teach him to become troll. Once your child has created a post that has received over 100 upvotes, you may be able to realize that Offtopic is not for Destiny related posts. Edit: The potion. DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU DONE ALL OF THE ABOVE. IF YOU READ THIS NOW, YOU MUST REPLY [quote]Please forgive me loch Ness monster, I ain't giving you no tree fiddy.[/quote] [spoiler]To make the potion, mix the blood with a gallon of bleach. You must feed half to your loch Ness monster wife, and the other half to your child. They will have a message, in 2 parts. One will say the first part, and the other will say the second part. Only then, will you understand that you need to tap your post, tap the 3 dots, hit edit, and change #gaming to #Destiny2.[/spoiler] [spoiler]This was written by Violet Varlerie. Don't copy without permission, or I will report you to the bulli police for stage 13 bulli.[/spoiler]