Im afraid I don't use Xbox, but if there is any kind of screen share or "shareplay" feature, then there is a chance someone is accessing your device remotely. You should probably contact microsoft to ensure your account safety. Hope this helps :)
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Thanks for your advice, i now feel bad for posting such an acusation. its Microsoft I found it and though it goes through bunjie thats only because as you said they are using my account and screen sharing tools. Sorry bunjie. I;ll never doubt you again lol