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Edited by BaghdadBean: 9/26/2016 4:23:53 PM
139

Discrimination at its finest.

I was doing the new raid, and my team had gotten to the final boss part 2, ready to win this thing and get our sweet lewt. Well, that's what I had hoped. During conversation while building supers and such, the fact that I am a gay male came up. One of the guys in the raid goes "You're gay? Dude I don't wanna hear that." So clearly I got defensive. He was saying he did not want to hear any of my "gay shit" so I responded with saying I didn't want to listen to any of his straight shit and he went silent. His girlfriend was the fire team leader of the game, and clearly scared of him. But, she was trying to figure out why he was being so homophobic and awful to me when I had done nothing. Then, I'm kicked from the party after beating his point that every gay man wants to get with him. I told him to get over himself and just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to -blam!- you. The girlfriend messages me she's sorry and she doesn't want to get on his bad side and said she "has" to kick me from the game. She had also, earlier at the Siege Tank, had to ask permission to do certain things like shower and even speak to this "man" that called himself her boyfriend. An abusive, homophobic, delusional male on Destiny that can't cope with the fact that some people are not exactly like him? Honestly I've never met someone who's done that before to me for that reason alone, that I'm gay. This community is toxic and is getting worse. Be safe out there guardians, cause obviously I have to keep my mouth shut about who I am to be able to play this game. ~Meta Edit 1: So apparently I'm in the wrong for being gay. I should just keep myself locked in a dark room with no food and water, right? No, if it comes up naturally in conversation, that's not my fault if someone reacts badly to it. It's the person reacting because their discriminating against something and someone that does not affect them in any way shape or form. This is not my fault for confirming to the team what was asked, there's was no need to lie or hide it. Edit 2: I am very appreciative towards everyone who is being sympathetic and empathetic towards me for this situation. Even from those who say they don't agree with being gay. I find it amazing how you guys are so much more accepting than someone I had been playing with for hours. And those who are saying to have kept my mouth shut about being gay, how bout you never say anything straight related again? Cause there might be someone that kicks you for it. That's how you guys sound. And it's ridiculous. Edit 3: those of you saying you've known people for years and that sexuality has never come up 1: you must not be so close to them and 2: just because it doesn't come up in your convos does not mean it doesn't come up on others. Edit 4: for those of you who would be willing to help me complete the last boss, I'm on Xbox one and my gamer tag is x9livesmeta ai, message me or add me Edit 5: most of you are asking how it comes up. We were building supers and talking about stuff not pertaining to the raid. The men in the group were talking about girls and girlfriends and they then ask me about my "girl" and I simply said, oh sorry, I like guys, no girlfriend here" and thus the situation in the post happened. It's not like we were playing and I just screamed I was gay. It was subtle and just telling the truth. Please remember to ask questions and read before you start hating [spoiler]Moderator edit: This thread has been updated with tags that are more appropriate. Feel free to private message the moderator who moved your post, link to topic, for further clarification about why this topic was moved.[/spoiler]
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  • Why would you tell a group of people that you do not know VERY well the fact that you're gay. You didnt' run into a discrimination problem. You ran into a **judgement*** and ***boundary*** problem. I'm African-American, and that's a question that I will not answer directly unless I know the people I'm playing with VERY well, and have some sense of how they'll react to it. Not because I'm in any way ashamed of who I am...but the fact that THAT part of my life is NONE OF THAT PERSON'S business. People that I'm playing with don't need to know what race I am, to enjoy my company and enjoy playing a game together. But If I let that person into that part of my lfie, and their racial prejudices start coming out....I would not have compounded the error by trying to get into argument and change his mind. Homophobia is a prejudice. Prejudices are not based on fact and are not held for rational reasons. So they are NOT amenable to fact based arguments. All you will do in trying to separate someone from their prejudices before they are ready to outgrow them....is simply make them angry and feel threatened. IOW---while it sucks that there are ignorant, frightened people in the world who cannot accept people who are different-----this problem didn't just "find" you. You met it halfway. Yes it sucks that part of the responsibilities that come with being part of a minority group is that you have to MANAGE other people's prejudices so that they have the least possible impact on you. Yes it isn't right. Yes it isn't fair. Yes, in a perfect world you shouldn't have to do that. But we don't live in a perfect world. So the question is, "Do you want to be right....or do you want to be happy." Because in the real world there are many situations where you can be one or the other....but not both. You ran into just one of those situations. You chose to be right...to fight a battle that didn't not NEED to be fought at the time, because you wanted to win it....and the outcome was an unhappy one. But you could have chosen to keep a group of strangers out of a personal part of your life that they had NOT demonstrated that they could handle the knowledge of in a responsible fashion....and happily completed the raid. One minority to another. You were given a life lesion here. A painful one....but a lesson. Don't let the anger and the hurt obscure that lesson, and how you can avoid a repeat of this incident with people who are---quite frankly---randoms. You mistook acquaintances for friends....and were rudely reminded of the very real difference between the two.

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